Dane Cook: The Isolated Interview (video)

Love him or hate him, Dane Cook is one of the biggest stand-up comedians of this generation. And though he’s been in a handful of high-profile movies the past few years, 2009 is the year he promises to “replant the flag” of stand-up comedy he had established years ago. He’s already in the middle of a national arena tour and premieres his new hour special for Comedy Central, Isolated Incident, on May 17; the album version is out in stores May 19.

The material on Isolated Incident helps reassert Cook’s position as a masterful entertainer, deft storyteller and just plain engaging. But more importantly, it establishes him as a versatile comedian who’s unafraid to dip — however lightly — into politics, the relatively recent death of his parents and the hordes of faceless message board posters who seem to hate the fact that he exists.

And this time he does it all in a much more intimate setting — his home club, the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles — than he did on his last two releases; 2007’s album Rough Around the Edges and 2006’s HBO special and DVD Vicious Circle were both recorded at arenas, proving he doesn’t necessarily need a raucous crowd of 15,000 to prove he’s funny. Dane took some time in between tour dates to chat with us from his home. We captured the whole thing using iChat video. What follows is both the video and transcript of said interview. Enjoy.

Dane Cook interview by Punchline Magazine on new album from Punchline Magazine on Vimeo.

All right, I can’t promise – I’m hoping this will look OK. It looks OK now.
I hope it doesn’t.

You hope it looks like poop?
Isn’t it great when you have great technology and two people just fucking it up completely?

No, I think it’s going to be good.
I just want to apologize briefly, too, for the setting. My portal to heaven is behind me here. So, this is the only light that I could get for us. And if you’re wondering if this is the chair from Return of the Jedi that the emperor sat in, you would be correct.

It is? Oh, wow, OK.
Yeah.

Do you have –
The actual chair. I bid on it at Auction, Dylan and I won it.

You’re not (Dane shakes is head no) – OK. You can never tell. You comedians. You comedians are always joking. Do you also have the red – I don’t know what to call it, but the red guards that guarded emperor? Did you buy them as well?
I have all the figurines, Dylan. I’m not ashamed to say that I grew up a Star Wars junkie, fanatic. And so I not only had all the figurines, but I also had an army of storm troopers. I didn’t just have one storm trooper, I had 11 storm troopers, Dylan.

Eleven? That’s quite a bit.
And I used to make them have gay sex with one another.

Yeah?
Sorry about that.

I would think C3-PO and R2D2, I think that would make more sense.
Yeah, actually he was C3-Pee All Over Me, was the nickname for him. And it was Handy Solo and Luke Guybopper. It was disgusting.

Wow. You were advanced even at a young age, Dane. So, listen, obviously I want to chat a little bit about the new album, which I got to listen to once. So, forgive me if my questions aren’t as probing as maybe they would be if I was allowed to listen to it more than once.
You downloaded it once, and you’re telling me you didn’t use any kind of technology to rip or record for multiple listens?

Should I have? If you say I should have, then maybe I did. But, no, I didn’t.
You sir, are an upstanding citizen. And I appreciate that about you.

I did take notes on it, though.
All right. Copious notes. What have you got, Dylan?

All right, so the first thing I noticed, after listening to the whole thing, is I feel like it’s a bit – you’re kind of go – there’s certainly stories in this one, but I feel like you’re going back to doing quicker bits, more quick in, quick out. Very economical as far as words go. It’s more like a Weezer album, than it is, say, a Rush album. Was that kind of a conscious decision to do that?
Very much so. I think that with – a lot of people who were maybe introduced to my comedy say in 2001, with the first Comedy Central special, I was certainly, at that time, much more a maniac. The comedy absolutely was more from a boundless energy and physical point of view. And that was on purpose, because I loved guys like Steve Martin, Martin Short; I loved John Ritter. They definitely informed my stand-up comedy. And once that special was kind of out there in the world, I went back to the lab, so to speak, and wanted to come at my comedy from a different perspective. I wanted to learn more words, and be able to use vernacular in ways that tell better stories quicker, and more straight to the point.

But at the same time, I was really loving listening to some of my old Newhart albums and listening to – I especially like Bill Cosby, Himself. So, when Vicious [Circle] came along, it was long-form story telling. And so some of those bits were like eight, 10 minutes. There’s some LPMs in there, but after that was done, really this more about random quick in, quick out, like you said— and not as wordy, to put it quite simply. Unlike that answer, which was much like a Meatloaf title in 1978. I apologize. I rambled a bit, Dylan.

That’s OK. You can ramble as much as you like. You’re in a safe place right here. It’s OK. It’s interesting you bring up a Cosby. I just saw Cosby two days ago, and he’s still doing those two-hour shows. It takes the man 25 minutes to tell a story about how he used to hide condom in his wallet. I mean, it’s funny, it’s good, and I love the guy. But, it’s a very – it’s an interesting thing to see somebody old school do that kind of comedy where it’s not for the MTV generation. Where it’s not so quick and punchy. The man takes his time.
I was certainly influenced by him. I was in junior high school when Himself came out. And that was also really the first year of my life that I said, out loud, that I want to be a stand-up comedian to friends and family. So, a lot of leading up to Vicious Circle and certainly Rough Around the Edges, I was really – it was still glamorous, the idea of not doing that kind of quick edit, MTV generation comedy. Even though, technically the cameras could make it broader and more visually esthetically pleasing. I wanted to tell seven, eight, 10-minute long stories with jokes in them at that time.

And that’s not to say, I don’t want to mislead anybody who’s – who will purchase the album when it comes out, May 19. There are certainly stories on this album. They’re just a little shorter and a little more compact. But you’re still definitely telling stories.
Dylan, I just want to stop us for a second, because I think the viewing audience is wondering if you’re experiencing an earthquake.

Am I getting all pixilated and stuff?
It was like this for a second. (Dane shakes his screen)

No earthquakes here, no.
I want to make sure you’re OK. You should go stand under a doorstop for a moment.

Yeah, I could go do that. I could. I’ll take a chance, though.
All right.

The other thing, I’m guessing this was also a conscious decision. You recorded it at a much smaller venue, at The Laugh Factory, kind of your home club there. Why do that as opposed to capturing a live performance at a much bigger venue?
I guess it’s a multiple-choice answer. The first one being that I spent most of my time after the loss of my mom and dad in that club going through those experiences and talking about everything that you ended up hearing, and will see in the special. And it was an important place for me, because it was kind of like my therapy. I took a lot out on crowds in that club, and I certainly turned a lot of that negativity and frustration into hopefully entertaining material.

And then on the technical side, I didn’t want to be derivative of myself and do just another big grandiose, broad show, because I did that. And I wanted to challenge myself to take on a completely different element. And one thing you haven’t seen, because I know you only heard the audio, and it’s a surprise. But visually, the way you’re going to finally see this presented is going to be very, very different from what you’ve experienced before. Which is part of why it’s commercial free. I don’t want to give it away, but it was a challenge to shoot the show the way I did. And I look forward to seeing what you think of it after it airs.

Jokes.com
Dane Cook – Suicide Note
dians.comedycentral.com

You mentioned your parents. In this album you do a few jokes centered around your parents. Was that – was it ever – I mean, where you ever conflicted as to whether or not you wanted to include that type of material in the new album?
I don’t want to say I was conflicted, because – and not to come off as morbid, but if you knew my folks, they had very wild sense of humor. And I spent a lot of time with my mom, especially, in those last few weeks of her life, where she was like ‘you’ve got to make a joke about this. You can talk about this onstage.’ And again, it was like we were laughing and crying together. But I felt like after my mom and dad passed, it was really my obligation, and also a challenge, given what people knew of me, and how I had blown up, to go back to square one and do old school comedy, in a club, presented with a wide array of truths that I was experiencing.

If I skipped all that, and didn’t talk about haters, didn’t talk about losing my folks, then I would probably deserve a lot of the superfluous crap people like to sling at me. But, I think it’s a nice way to face comedy head on, share it; make it entertaining. That’s my job, first and foremost, to make it funny. But also show people I’m not a one trick pony.

Right. And it is funny, you know. It’s not like – it doesn’t get very sad. And you know, I kind of thought it was very – it was very Robert Schimmel-esque. He has a great ability, obviously, to talk about really horrible, horrible things, and make it really funny. I think that takes a lot of thought and skill. And I think you’ve done it.
The audience will be the judge of that ultimately. But from what I experienced, not only in front of that crowd, that night, but now taking it on the road with the tour, and doing that 400 seat performance in front of upwards of 20,000, and getting the response back from long term fans, it seems like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. It’s so far so good.

Yeah. You know, you seem – just seeing you on television, and talking to you the few times I have, you seem to be a pretty well-adjusted fellow. Comedians are not so known for being the most well adjusted people. And you address it in your album, that you’re not the type of guy that has ever contemplated something like suicide, or sometimes you can’t even understand the concept of that. But I guarantee if we polled 100 comics now, 75 of them would have – would admit that they definitely considered suicide. So why are you so well adjusted, Dane? Come on.
I mean, look, I’ve got my skeletons. I have my dark periods, but I don’t linger on anything. I wasn’t raised that way. It’s not how my siblings were raised. We’re the kind of people that if we’re hurting about something, we would fight about it, or talk about it. And we never really buried things down for the most part. So, I think part of it is just in a very natural way, I don’t like to keep things in the pit of my stomach too long. I’ll either talk about it on stage, or share them with friends or my family.

So – and I never let the whole – you’ve got to realize, too, I – when I got famous and hit kind of that mainstream level, it was really a howl. I felt like I was watching somebody else named Dane Cook on my television. I’d be sitting with my family, I’m a pretty low key guy. When I’m not doing shows, I’m kind of a homebody. And whether it was the accolades, or some of the strange innuendo and rumor, I would sit back and kind of be like, wow, I never really saw myself as either of these things. I’m just kind of a go to work, get it done, go home type of person.

Are you now any more used to that? I mean, every once in a while, your face popping up in kind of the weekly entertainment magazines and things? Is it still strange to you, or is it kind of whatever?
Look, let’s face it: what celebrity was when we were a little bit younger, even 10 years ago, your face – 10 years ago your face would pop up in a magazine next to Bruce Willis and Halle Barry and you’d be like, ‘oh, my gosh, I’m beside A-list people.’ And now there’s so much junk and it’s great, I’m next to Spencer and Heidi. Celebrity sucks. There’s nothing really unique and mysterious about it anymore. So you just kind of hold on to the scraps of it that are informative, in the creative atmosphere. And the rest of it, if you really believe any of it, or live in that world, I think that it will suffocate you and ultimately end your creative journey. That’s truly what I feel.

So, I kind of – it doesn’t mean that much to me when I’m in a magazine now, or there’s an entertainment show. As long as they’re talking about the comedy, and fans are finding it and laughing, I don’t give a shit about any of the other stuff.

You talk about some of your relationships on the new album with females. You tell a few stories, especially the “isolated incident” story, and a few others about your dalliances, if you will, with females. Do they kind of know that anything that happens between you two can be fair game for millions of people to hear about?
I have them sign a confidentiality agreement on our first date. It’s the first question anybody asks. Am I going to end up in your comedy act, is pretty much the first thing. And my first response is always, ‘absolutely, yes.’ You better expect it. Probably not. But, we’ll see where the date goes, and what kind of strange hooligan you might be, and we’ll see where it lands.

You’re upfront and honest. Girls like that, right?
You have to be really a no bullshit person. When you say, ‘hey, listen, I’m a professional comedian. I’m an actor.’ This world is kind of a tornado, there’s a bit of the during that introduction, you are from F-list to A-list, there’s a little bit of the Elvis syndrome where you’re going to be treated differently, you’re going to be adored, you’re going to be… people are just going to go gaga when they’re around you. And no matter what level people consider me at, or that I’ve been at, every girl that I’m with, I have to tell them, it’s rarified air. And sometimes you breathe it in, and you have to absorb it and live it a little bit, and kind of roll around and get messy in it. And then sometimes you have to block it out completely, and attempt to live whatever a normal lifestyle is. I don’t do it perfectly. I definitely have had my highs and lows in relationships. But, I’m always honest right off the bat that it’s not going to be a smooth ride.

All right, all right. I want to ‘shift gears’ as professional interviewers are want to say when they change topics. I know you’re very excited about your new iPhone application.
Yes.

You’re almost as well known as being a very smart business person and marketer as you are a comedian. So, tell me: why launch an iPhone application based around your comedy?
Well, I think that the impetus was – well, going back a little bit when MySpace was first in my life, and at the time the Napsters and the Friendsters were being utilized, I found that because after the shows I’m a homebody, I’m not the kind of person that – once the shows over at the club, it’s like that’s the only show with me. I don’t look for the after party, late night experience.

Jokes.com
Dane Cook – Cell Phone Club
dians.comedycentral.com

I was spending a lot of time at home, receiving e-mails through my early websites. And what I found with the early version of the social networking was it was a great way to find fans, and it was a great way to pass information to people regarding comedy. Now it’s come to close to 10 years later, everybody’s on these social networking sites, and what I was finding was, about a year ago, as I started talking to companies like Zannel who I did the app with… OK, how can I take the standard HBO documentary, or social network updating, and how can I have a running diary/documentary that I can share with people in their pockets?

So, we started working on the iPhone app, and it’s – I think it’s going to be the next thing where now you can follow, whether it’s spoken word performers, musicians, comedians, I think it’s a great way for these people to forget all the stuff we were talking about a minute ago with the BS celebrity stuff, and what level you’re at, and who is doing what with who, it gets rid of all that. And it’s a direct connection; it’s my creativity, if you’re interested in that experience to you. And that’s what I’m trying to now build upon and how I will present my stand-up in the years to come. My next comedy special might not be necessarily on Comedy Central or HBO, it might be directly to your phone in your pocket.

Do you feel you could ever become too available to your fans?
It’s a valid question. And that’s why when people say, would you want to do a reality show? I would say, well, the difference there is – and what was very tricky with Tourgasm is probably more so with comedians, it’s good to have a bit of mystique. But it’s even better – let’s take like Richard Pryor, back in the day. He lived through these horrible experiences; there was drugs, being on fire, suicidal thoughts. If that had been a show you would say this is great television. It may not have – it would not have been, and may not have been, funny. But with his time and perspective looking back on it, it became entertaining, and cathartic and beautiful, and funny.

So, what is the line? I don’t necessarily know myself. But what I do know is you can still have a mystique and keep the stuff that’s about family business, that’s personal, the stuff that’s about who you’re dating, the stuff that’s just hardcore home life personal, and still put forward creative information. Example, Twitter. If you can get on there, isn’t it great you can follow a comedian who has a point of view, see something during the course of his day, takes a photo of it, and shares a funny thought or moment that may never have met the stage. But you’re getting a glimpse into their creative process.

If I could have followed Steven Wright on Twitter, when I was in junior high school, to hear his moment to moment updates on whatever he was experiencing that may not make the stage. I think that would’ve been a really great way to keep informed with people that I admire. So, I hope I use it the right way. And I hope that people receive it the right way. So far the response has been, in just a few days, really outstanding.

Do you – we talked a little bit about you acting, you being in movies. Are there any – I checked the IMDB before we chatted, I didn’t see any upcoming Dane Cook flicks.
The goal this year that I had decided by November of last was I want to replant this flag. I want to spend as much time with fans, old and new, on the road. Yes, the tour is what you see now. But it’s certainly going to be extended, just judging by the early way it’s been received and ticket sales and whatnot. So we will go further. I passed on a few different films, because I think it’s an important time for me, in my comedy, metamorphosis, as I’m growing now, getting older with a group of fans that I started with in college, and now are growing up with me. I think it was an important time, a crucial time, for me to get back in settings where I could connect with people.

So, no, there’s no TV. I have a Comedy Central deal to even put together a show, I put that on the back burner. I passed on a few films that I just didn’t feel like this was the time. I am writing something that I hope will move next year. But it’s all comedy, all the time.

All right. Fair, very fair. What do you think – and maybe this is an odd question to be asking you, maybe it’s a better question to ask another comedy analyst. But I mean, I’d be interesting in hearing what you have to say about this. What do you feel your overall effect on the national stand-up comedy scene has been?
Well, I’ve certainly got people talking about stand-up in a way that – I guess that the whole controversial element was interesting, sometimes entertaining, sometimes head scratching to sit back and see how people were slinging my comedy or my name back and forth. Controversy, definitely, is not bad for business. It was great to sit back and kind of watch it unfold.

But, I would think that absolutely in the promotional aspect, that’s been my high-water mark. And I would tell comedians, you know, early 2000, 2001, 2002, the old days of one night on The Tonight Show, becoming an overnight sensation is long gone. And it is now our obligation to be business people and to reach out, using media, using this, find people that are interested in keeping us on the map and paying us forward to other people looking for entertainment. And that goes for all forms of the arts, I think, falls in that category.

I jumped on it early, and I think that people gave me some nice props for that. But I didn’t reinvent the wheel. I just did absolutely what came naturally to me at the time, which was how could I not sit in my underwear and play video games for 23 hours a day. And get off my ass which is – it can be a procrastinating ass, and do something for myself and for my future, so I can have a family, pay the rent, send my kids to a great college some day, and deliver stand-up to people for the rest of my life and career. So, I don’t know, man. It’s definitely – its’ a question that everybody that you ask, and even people that write me and reach out to me, they put me in such different places in the echelon of the history of comedy. But I don’t think about that. It really never mattered to me, at the end of the day, what place I came in, as long as I found fans.

Do you feel more people have been introduced to stand-up comedy that maybe otherwise would not have been? More people are going to the local stand up comedy clubs, that maybe have found you first, and then realize there are other comedians, and there’s other local comedy that they could be going to see?
I think that there was a period during 2001, ’02, ’03, certainly before Harmful If Swallowed came out, I was told, and it was no secret, that the comedy album is dead. That’s what everybody said to me, the comedy album is dead. And what I found was, well, people just weren’t putting a lot of care into the entire presentation. Not just the silver disc in a crappy looking case with a black and white smoky picture of a comic leaning against a brick wall. It’s all in the presentation. If people know you put time, effort, and care into the comedy and into the way it’s delivered to them, they appreciate it. They spent their hard earned dollar on something that you really gave a shit about.

And so I think that I certainly had a contributing factor in the way that it’s presented, and also floating people back into the clubs during that time. Certainly not solely, you had the Chappelle’s and Attell’s, and Bill Burr popping up, and Stanhopes, and a lot of great, strong acts at that time. So, it was like me and this group of guys that I think were helping to bring the comedy back to some of these clubs that were languishing.

Jokes.com
Dane Cook: Uncensored – 15 Cents
dians.comedycentral.com

All right, the last thing, I don’t want to keep you too much longer, Dane, I know you’re a busy fellow. The last thing I kind of wanted to talk about is, you kind of brought it up before, when you were talking about the controversy and the “superfluous” crap that you – and you again, you even talk about it on the new album with the anymous@yahoo.com bit you do. Why do people have such a distaste for you?
There’s a lot answers for that, man. And some of it is jealousy and some of it is because people get frustrated at where they’re at in their lives and careers. Some of it is legitimate: ‘I don’t like his comedy. I don’t get it.’ And it’s that thing where if you liked a movie, you tell two people. If you hate a movie, you’ll tell 10 people. I think why I tread so lightly on this is because I admire some of the people that these very things started with. And it’s tough to fight lies, and it’s tough to fight – or go up against people that you really respect, and don’t necessarily understand entirely what their motivation is. Some people I do.

I can tell you, and I’m not going to name a name, but somebody very high profile in the – leading the hate o’clock news, if I may, a person that you would probably talk to, and they would come out and tell you that I sucked and they don’t care for me or the way I do comedy or anything about me. The first e-mail I got after my mom passed away was by one of these very people. And again, I’m not going to put out the names, because I’m not going to try and do what they do, and I’m not going to try and make this into me trying to one up. I’m simply giving you an example. Somebody that you would know came to me and wrote me a letter and said, I remember you talking about your mom with a bunch of us backstage one day, and how important she was to you. And at the end of the letter it said, as much as I may say some of these things, and do some of these things, it’s all a game.

And I have this letter from this person. I read it once in a while to remind myself that it is a game, and that person has an obligation to their style of comedy, and their fans, and they feed into a certain platform of presentation. And it kind of goes with it, man. So, it’s a tough thing, Dylan. I got to tell you, man, it baffles me to this day, some of it, how some of it sticks on the Internet bathroom wall. The same very thing that I certainly held tight on to, is – it can be the same thing that sometimes is an anchor on you. And I think that bathroom wall needs a scrub down from time to time. Because I dealt with a lot of the demons in the past, and yet it still sticks. And I think that the people that hurt the most from it are not myself or even the people that may have had issues at the time, it’s the new fans that come in, that want to know about your comedy, and drum up these old hates, and this old crap, when it’s been squashed, or it’s been taken care of. And that’s the last thing I’ll say on a very long answer, which hopefully you’ll edit down to be more radio friendly.

Nah.
The last thing I’ll say about is, some of these very incidents were already taken care of the same way comics take care of these very same back and forth in a club. This stuff happens every night in a club. Two comics have an issue with a routine, or a bit, or a tagline, or a parallel thinking, or whatever it might be, and they squash it in a club. And that’s the way that it normally happens night after night. I became, at a point in my career, one of the biggest comics in the country, bar none. And unfortunately those same back room conversations took place here. And so the conversations were justified. They really were. It’s just a shame that it has to become part of a Wikipedia entry. You know what I mean? That’s the tough stuff. That’s kind of – that’s forever on a webpage, when I dealt with that, with the man or women that needed to be dealt with, behind the scenes. So, that’s kind of where I stand with it. I don’t fully, completely understand it. I embrace it. I lived through it. I dealt with it the best way I could in my comedy. And I’m moving on, man. I did move on a long time ago.

Well, Dane, thank you very much for chatting here. I want to remind everybody, May 17 is when your comedy – when the Comedy Central special airs, correct?
Absolutely. In fact, you know what? Let me do something cool. Let’s see if this works. We have iChat theater, right?

Yeah.
Let’s see if this works. This is the exclusive Comedy Central commercial. Hold on. Let’s see. Let’s see if this screws up.

COMMERCIAL: Without 50,000 screaming fans. Without commercial interruptions. Without a net. Dane Cook, Isolated Incident, May 17, only on Comedy Central.

That’s crazy. So you – you were just saying how bad you are with technology, and there you are.
No, no. I’m a geek with the technology. So, anyway, I thought I would share that with you.

Thank you, I like that. So, May 17 the special airs. May 19 the CD is in stores. Your tour, your big national tour, lasts through June 27th, I believe.
For now, yep.

For now. Also on the road with you is Bobby Kelly.
I’ve got Bobby Kelly and Al Del Bene, on most of the tour. And we’re going to get some special guests, a couple of people who will be swinging through. So you never know who might end up on the show.

Nice. Very exciting. Dane, thank you so much for talking to me, and for reading Punchline Magazine, I appreciate it, man.
Dylan, thanks a lot for your time, and this was really cool.

For more info, check out danecook.com.

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Margaret Cho – www.margaretcho.com

Louis CK – www.louisck.com

Vic Clevenger – www.vicclevenger.com

Bobby Collins – www.bobbycollins.com

Jim Colliton – www.jimcolliton.com

Jane Condon – www.janecondon.com

Dane Cook – www.danecook.com

Bill Cool – www.billcool.com

Katina Corrao – www.katinacorrao.com

Tom Cotter – www.tomcotter.com

Sue Costello – www.suecostello.com

Adam Cozens – www.adamcozens.com

Russ Cugno – www.russcugno.com

Whitney Cummings – www.whitneyacummings.com

D

Nick Di Paolo – www.nickdip.com

Stevie D. – www.stevied.org

Jay Davis – www.jaydaviscomedy.com

Rob Delaney – www.robdelaney.com

Gabe Dinger – www.myspace.com/funny_dinger

Pat Dixon – www.youaretheenemy.com

Pete Dominick – www.petesbigmouth.com

Krissy Donato – www.myspace.com/krissydonato

Charles Dorby – www.myspace.com/tbcomedian

Brian Dowell – www.briandowell.com

Al Ducharme – www.alducharme.com

Devin Dugan – www.devindugan.com

Ross Duncliffe – www.rossthesauce.com

E

Shaun Eli – www.brainchampagne.com

Ray Ellin – www.rayellin.com

Bill Engvall – www.billengvall.com

Tracy Esposito – www.tracyesposito.com

Andrew Evans – www.angryandrew.com

F

Mitch Fatel – www.mitchfatel.com

Chris Fairbanks – www.chrisfairbanks.com

Mike Feeney – www.mikefeeneyonline.com

Shawn Felipe – www.shawnfelipe.com

Daryl Felsberg – www.darylfelsberg.com

Dominic Fig – www.domfig.com

Duke Fightmaster – www.dukefightmaster.com

Josh Filipowski – www.like2laugh.com

Christian Finnegan – www.christianfinnegan.com

Jim Florentine – www.jimflorentine.com

Judah Friedlander – www.judahfriedlander.com

Joel Fry – www.myspace.com/jolfrey

G

Jim Gaffigan – www.jimgaffigan.com

Pat Galante – www.myspace.com/patgalantecomic

Zach Galifianakis – www.zachgalifianakis.com

Linda Gambino – www.lindagambino.com

Chris Gehrt – www.myspace.com/chrisgehrt

Brett Gilbert – www.brettgilbert.com

Greg Giraldo – www.greggiraldo.com

Gilbert Gottfried – www.gilbertgottfried.com

Gary Gulman – www.garygulman.com

H

Slade Ham – www.sladeham.com

Ben Hague – www.benhaguecomedy.com

Ralph Harris – www.ralphharris.com

Jarrod Harris – www.myspace.com/jarrodharris

Kim Harrison – www.redhotmommy.com

Robert Hawkins – www.thehawknest.com

Kate Hendricks – www.laughtolive.wordpress.com

John Heffron – www.johnheffron.com

Steve Hofstetter – www.stevehofstetter.com

Shawn Hollenbach – www.shawnhollenbach.com

Vanessa Hollingshead – www.vanessahollingshead.com

Richard Houghton – www.myspace.com/richardhoughton

I

Dom Irrera – www.domirrera.com

J

Dave Johnson – www.magicandcomedy.com

Chris Johnston – www.chrisjcomedy.com

Jeffrey Joseph – www.jeffreyjoseph.net

Ken Jr.- www.kenjrcomedy.com

K

Dave Kamsler – www.dapperdave.com

Val Kappa – www.myspace.com/valkappa

Myq Kaplan – www.myqkaplan.com

Laurie Kilmartin – www.lauriekilmartin.com

Jamie Kilstein – www.myspace.com/jamiekilstein

Jen Kirkman – www.myspace.com/jenkirkman

Jessica Kirson – www.jessicakirson.com

Mark Knope – www.knope.com

Matt Knudsen – www.mattknudsen.com

Dave Konig – www.davekonig.com

Perry Kurtz – www.perrykurtz.com

L

Andrew Lisa – www.andrewlisa.com

Rob Little – www.roblittle.com

Dave Little – www.lovedavelittle.com

Lacyblu – www.myspace.com/lacyblu

Ash Louis – www.ashlouis.com

Kerri Louise – www.kerrilouise.com

Jeff Lutz – www.jefflutzcomedy.com

M

Kathleen Madigan – www.kathleenmadigan.com

Amy Mahfouz – www.amymahfouz.com

Lenny Marcus – www.lennymarcus.com

Darren Marlar – www.darrenmarlar.com

Marc Maron – www.marcmaron.com

Demetri Martin – www.demetrimartin.com

Ralphie May – www.ralphiemay.com

Phil Mazo – www.philmazo.com

Denis McDonough – www.denismcdonough.net

Steve McGrew – www.stevemcgrew.com

Patrick Melton – www.patrickmelton.com

Jim Mendrinos – www.jim-mendrinos.com

Carlos Mencia – www.carlosmencia.com

Russ Meneve – www.russmeneve.com

Dan Mengini – www.danmengini.com

Eugene Mirman – www.eugenemirmin.com

Steve Mittleman – www.stevemittleman.com

Corey Monroe – www.coreymonroe.com

Martin Montana – www.martinmontana.com

Carole Montgomery – www.carolemontgomery.com

Tracy Morgan – www.tracymorgan.net

Morgan Murphy – www.morganmurphy.net

N

Dan Naturman – www.dannaturman.com

Bob Nelson – www.bobnelson.com

Jay Nog – www.jaynog.com

Jim Norton – www.eatabullet.com

P

Don Packett – www.donpackett.com

Tom Papa – www.tompapa.com

Pardis Parker – www.pardisparker.com

Bernadette Pauley – www.bernadettepauley.com

Chelsea Peretti – www.chelseaperetti.com

Tammy Pescatelli – www.tammypescatelli.com

PK – www.blacksheepcomedy.com

Brian Posehn – www.brianposehn.com

Ira Proctor – www.iraproctor.com

Greg Proops – www.gregproops.com

Stacey Prussman – www.staceyprussman.com

Q

Colin Quinn – www.colinquinn.com

Ruben Quintana – http://comedyspace.punchlinemagazine.com/rubenquintana

R

Nadine Rajabi – www.nadinerajabi.com

Jonah Ray – www.jonahray.com

Al Romas – www.alromas.com

Isaiah Reason – www.comedyspace.punchlinemagazine.com/Isaiah

Jon Reep – www.jonreep.com

Brian Regan – www.brianregan.com

Jason Resler – www.jasonresler.com

Carla Rhodes – www.carlarhodes.net

Chelcie Rice – www.myspace.com/comedianchelcie3

Matt Rittberg – www.mattrittberg.com

Jamie Roberts – www.jamieroberts.com

Chris Rock – www.chrisrock.com

Gregg Rogell – www.myspace.com/greggrogell

Jez Rose and Company – www.JezRoseandCompany.co.uk

Jeff Rubin – www.jeffrubinjeffrubin.com

Matt Ruby – www.sandpapersuit.com

Steve Royall – www.steveroyall.com

Darrin Rows – www.darrinrows.com

Chris Rush – www.chrisrushcomedy.com

S

Ian Salmon – www.iansalmon.com

Jeremy Schachter – www.jeremyschachter.com

Maria Shehata – www.mariashehata.com

Tom Shillue – www.tomshillue.com

Ritch Shydner – www.ritchshydner.com

Dave Siegel – www.davesiegel.com

Marianne Sierk – www.mariannesierk.com

Mike Siscoe – www.rcsmithkicksass.com

Jen Slusser – www.jenslusser.com

Owen Smith – www.owensmithisfunny.com

RC Smith – www.rcsmithkicksass.com

Soce, the Elemental Wizard – www.myspace.com/soce

Suzy Soro – www.wherehotcomestodie.blogspot.com

Aries Spears – www.ariesspears.com

Mike Speirs – www.mikespeirs.com

Bill Squire – www.myspace.com/billsquire

Doug Stanhope – www.dougstanhope.com

Stella – www.stellacomedy.com

Sal the Stockbroker – www.horsetoothjackass.com

Doug Stone – www.myspace.com/dougstone

Cory Sutton – www.coreysutton.com

Sherri D. Sutton – www.sherridsutton.com

Nick Swardson – www.nickswardson.com

Mark Sweeney – www.marksweeney2.com

T

Jason Tarr – www.jasontarr.net

Shannon Thompson – www.myspace.com/mycousinhasasmallpenis

Daniel Tosh – www.danieltosh.com

Paul F. Tompkins – www.paulftompkins.com

style=”margin-bottom: 0pt;”>Nathan Trenholm – www.nathantrenholm.com

V

Sandra Valls – www.welovesandra.com

Georgia Van C – www.myspace.com/georgiavanc

Cheril Vendetti – www.CherilVendetti.com

Andy Vastola – www.andyvastola.com

Laz Viciedo – www.justlaz.com

Rich Vos – www.richvos.com

W

Josh Wade – www.joshwade.com

Scott White – www.scottyblanco.com

Aaron David Ward – www.aarondavidward.com

Ercell Watson – www.ercellwatson.com

Ron White – www.tatersalad.com

John Witherspoon – www.bangbangbangbang.com

Todd Womack – www.toddwomack.com

Don Worley – www.donworley.com

Z

Chad Zumock – www.chadzumock.com

Comedians

If you’re a comic and want to get on this list, please email: dylan@punchlinemagazine.com. Enjoy!

A

Orny Adams – www.ornyadams.com

Ricardo Aleman – www.ricardoaleman.com

Ted Alexandro – www.tedalexandro.com

Dan Allen – www.taoofdan.com

Greg Althoff – www.myspace.com/gregalthoff

Aziz Ansari – www.azizisbored.com

Dave Attell – www.daveattell.com

B

Ben Bailey – www.therealbenbailey.com

Big Daddy Will – www.bigdaddywill.com

Craig Baldo – www.craigbaldo.com

Michele Balan – www.michelebalan.com

Maria Bamford - 

Todd Barry – www.toddbarry.com

D.C. Benny – www.dcbenny.com

Doug Benson – www.myspace.com/doug_benson

Michelle Biloon – www.biloon.com

Mike Birbiglia – www.birbigs.com

Lewis Black – www.lewisblack.net

Bob and David – www.bobanddavid.com

Alonzo Bodden – www.alonzobodden.com

Buddy Bolton – www.buddybolton.com

Kevin Brennan – www.comediankevinbrennan.com

Eddie Brill – www.eddiebrill.com

Andrew Burnette – www.myspace.com/comedianandrewburnette

Bill Burr – www.billburr.com

C

Jeff Caldwell – www.standupguy.com

Tony Camin – www.myspace.com/tonycamin

George Carlin – www.georgecarlin.com

Craig Carmean – www.craigcarmean.com

Darren Carter – www.darrencarter.com

Jesse Cash – www.jessecash.com

Carolyn Castiglia – www.carolyncastiglia.com

Cedric The Entertainer – www.ceddybear.com

Neil Charles – www.myspace.com/certifiedhilarious

Lori Chase – www.lorichase.com

Maria Ciampa – www.mariaciampa.com

Margaret Cho – www.margaretcho.com

Louis CK – www.louisck.com

Bobby Collins – www.bobbycollins.com

Jim Colliton – www.jimcolliton.com

Jane Condon – www.janecondon.com

Dane Cook – www.danecook.com

Tom Cotter – www.tomcotter.com

Sue Costello – www.suecostello.com

style=”margin-bottom: 0pt;”>Russ Cugno – www.russcugno.com

style=”margin-bottom: 0pt;”>Whitney Cummings – www.whitneyacummings.com

D

Nick Di Paolo – www.nickdip.com

Stevie D. – www.stevied.org

Jay Davis – www.jaydaviscomedy.com

Gabe Dinger – www.myspace.com/funny_dinger

Pete Dominick – www.petesbigmouth.com

Krissy Donato – www.myspace.com/krissydonato

Charles Dorby – www.myspace.com/tbcomedian

Brian Dowell – www.briandowell.com

Al Ducharme – www.alducharme.com

Devin Dugan – www.devindugan.com

Ross Duncliffe – www.rossthesauce.com

Sharon Dyer - www.sharondyer.com

E

Shaun Eli – www.brainchampagne.com

Ray Ellin – www.rayellin.com

Bill Engvall – www.billengvall.com

Tracy Esposito – www.tracyesposito.com

Andrew Evans – www.angryandrew.com

F

Mitch Fatel – www.mitchfatel.com

Chris Fairbanks – www.chrisfairbanks.com

Shawn Felipe – www.shawnfelipe.com

Daryl Felsberg – www.darylfelsberg.com

Dominic Fig – www.domfig.com

Josh Filipowski – www.like2laugh.com

Christian Finnegan – www.christianfinnegan.com

Jim Florentine – www.jimflorentine.com

Judah Friedlander – www.judahfriedlander.com

Joel Fry – www.myspace.com/jolfrey

G

Jim Gaffigan – www.jimgaffigan.com

Zach Galifianakis – www.zachgalifianakis.com

John Gard - www.myspace.com/jgard85

Brett Gilbert – www.brettgilbert.com

Greg Giraldo – www.greggiraldo.com

Gilbert Gottfried – www.gilbertgottfried.com

Gary Gulman – www.garygulman.com

H

Slade Ham – www.sladeham.com

Ben Hague – www.benhaguecomedy.com

Jarrod Harris – www.myspace.com/jarrodharris

Kim Harrison – www.redhotmommy.com

Robert Hawkins – www.thehawknest.com

John Heffron – www.johnheffron.com

Steve Hofstetter – www.stevehofstetter.com

Shawn Hollenbach – www.shawnhollenbach.com

Vanessa Hollingshead – www.vanessahollingshead.com

Richard Houghton – www.myspace.com/richardhoughton

I

Dom Irrera – www.domirrera.com

J

Chris Johnston – www.chrisjcomedy.com

Ken Jr.- www.kenjrcomedy.com

K

Val Kappa – www.myspace.com/valkappa

Myq Kaplan – www.myqkaplan.com

Laurie Kilmartin – www.lauriekilmartin.com

Jen Kirkman – www.myspace.com/jenkirkman

Jessica Kirson – www.jessicakirson.com

Mark Knope – www.knope.com

L

Rob Little – www.roblittle.com

Dave Little – www.lovedavelittle.com

Lacyblu – www.myspace.com/lacyblu

Kerri Louise – www.kerrilouise.com

M

Kathleen Madigan – www.kathleenmadigan.com

Amy Mahfouz – www.amymahfouz.com

Lenny Marcus – www.lennymarcus.com

Marc Maron – www.marcmaron.com

Demetri Martin – www.demetrimartin.com

Ralphie May – www.ralphiemay.com

Denis McDonough – www.denismcdonough.com

Steve McGrew – www.stevemcgrew.com

Jim Mendrinos – www.jim-mendrinos.com

Carlos Mencia – www.carlosmencia.com

Russ Meneve – www.russmeneve.com

Eugene Mirman – www.eugenemirmin.com

Steve Mittleman – www.stevemittleman.com

Carole Montgomery – www.carolemontgomery.com

Tracy Morgan – www.tracymorgan.net

Morgan Murphy – www.morganmurphy.net

N

Dan Naturman – www.dannaturman.com

Bob Nelson – www.bobnelson.com

Jay Nog – www.jaynog.com

Jim Norton – www.eatabullet.com

P

Tom Papa – www.tompapa.com

Bernadette Pauley – www.bernadettepauley.com

Chelsea Peretti – www.chelseaperetti.com

Brian Posehn – www.brianposehn.com

Stacey Prussman – www.staceyprussman.com

Q

Colin Quinn – www.colinquinn.com

R

Nadine Rajabi – www.nadinerajabi.com

Jonah Ray – www.jonahray.com

Al Romas – www.alromas.com

Jon Reep – www.jonreep.com

Brian Regan – www.brianregan.com

Carla Rhodes – www.carlarhodes.net

Chelcie Rice – www.myspace.com/comedianchelcie3

Matt Rittberg – www.mattrittberg.com

Chris Rock – www.chrisrock.com

Gregg Rogell – www.myspace.com/greggrogell

John Roy - www.johnroylive.com

Steve Royall – www.steveroyall.com

Matt Ruby – www.sandpapersuit.com

Darrin Rows – www.darrinrows.com

S

Mike Siscoe – www.mikesiscoe.com

Sal the Stockbroker – www.horsetoothjackass.com

Suzy Soro – www.wherehotcomestodie.blogspot.com

Jeremy Schachter – www.jeremyschachter.com

Maria Shehata – www.mariashehata.com

Tom Shillue – www.tomshillue.com

Marianne Sierk – www.mariannesierk.com

Jen Slusser – www.jenslusser.com

Aries Spears – www.ariesspears.com

Bill Squire – www.myspace.com/billsquire

Doug Stanhope – www.dougstanhope.com

Stella – www.stellacomedy.com

Doug Stone – www.myspace.com/dougstone

Nick Swardson – www.nickswardson.com

Mark Sweeney – www.marksweeney2.com

Cory Sutton – www.coreysutton.com

T

Jason Tarr – www.jasontarr.net

Shannon Thompson – www.myspace.com/mycousinhasasmallpenis

Daniel Tosh – www.danieltosh.com

Paul F. Tompkins – www.paulftompkins.com

style=”margin-bottom: 0pt;”>Nathan Trenholm – www.nathantrenholm.com

V

Sandra Valls – www.welovesandra.com

Georgia Van C – www.myspace.com/georgiavanc

Cheril Vendetti – www.CherilVendetti.com

Andy Vastola – www.andyvastola.com

Laz Viciedo – www.justlaz.com

Rich Vos – www.richvos.com

W

Josh Wade – www.joshwade.com

Scott White – www.scottyblanco.com

Mark Whitney - www.markwhitney.com

Aaron David Ward – www.aarondavidward.com

Ercell Watson – www.ercellwatson.com

Ron White – www.tatersalad.com

John Witherspoon – www.bangbangbangbang.com

Todd Womack – www.toddwomack.com

Don Worley – www.donworley.com

Dane Cook: All Aboard the Dane Train

With a gold record in hand, film roles a plenty and a new book, Dane Cook is poised to become this generation’s most influential comic.

By Dylan P. Gadino

There’s a sturdy yet playful register in Dane Cook’s voice as he strides into his office. He leaves behind the warm, cottage-like feel of his living room — replete with high, 80-year-old wood-carved ceilings — and enters a room with enough gadgetry and stimuli to satisfy your every diversionary whim. Monitors, video games and what seems like every action figure he has ever owned all have a home here. His collection of Cracked and Mad magazines are nearby. And there’s a menacing group of Spawn toys from Todd McFarlane overlooking his desk.

Then there’s something in a frame. “This is one of my prized possessions,” Cook says. It’s a bit large, and on it the words read, “We’re very excited that our next guest is making his network television debut with us tonight. He can be seen in Boston at the Comedy Connection October third and fourth. Please welcome, the very funny Dane Cook.”

“I got that the first time I did Letterman,” Cook explains. “I was leaving the Ed Sullivan Theater, and I asked the cue-card guy if I could have it.” A few days later, it arrived in the mail, framed and signed by Dave himself.

That appearance was eight years ago. Since then, he has been back to the show three times and has added another frame — a gold record inside — to his office’s décor.

“The success of Retaliation [his three-disc sophomore release that dropped this past summer] has definitely changed my life,” he says. “I’ve had 15 years of a pretty consistent standup career. I’ve been moving along nicely, earning new fans and achieving baby steps. But when the album hit number four on Billboard it was like someone put me in the Millennium Falcon and hit warp speed.”

For the past few months, Cook has traded in the traditional leisurely lifestyle of a comic for days filled with meetings with directors, writers and producers. Besides his recent role in the Lions Gate comedy Waiting, Cook has signed on for at least two more movie gigs, and as of press time, is set to star in Sony Pictures’ Cooked, a single-camera comedy in which Cook is co-executive producing. The man is even writing a book. Though he won’t reveal its subject matter, he promises it will be “comedic.”

For now, however, his top priority is standup. It’s in his blood; it’s what he was born to do. “Standup is one of the few places in the entertainment realm where there are no filters,” he says. “On any given night you can hear from my brain to your ears without anybody impeding on that. It’s a magical thing to go to a show and watch a guy by himself make a room full of people laugh with just his thoughts.”

THE WAITING IS THE HARDEST PART

It’s 8:15 p.m. in Los Angeles and Dane is getting his thoughts together, waiting for his set at the Laugh Factory, the Sunset Boulevard venue that has been his home stage for the past few years. He hates waiting, and it’s easy to tell why. It takes fewer than five minutes of talking to Cook to realize the kinetic-but-controlled presence he emanates from the stage every night is not just part of a performance persona. He is that guy. Whatever he does, he does it with full attention and with a level of commitment far surpassing that seen in most modern marriages. This is a guy who, when he was young, would climb on top of his refrigerator in the dark and lay there for 40 minutes, waiting for someone to arrive — all so he could add an element of surprise when he made the fridge talk.

“Waiting is the worst,” he says. “Once I’m in the club, I love the smell. I love seeing the comics. I love being around the energy. I love hearing the host. I love when there are mic problems, and they’re working it out — the whole kit and caboodle. I just want to be in that world. I adore it.”

And it shows. Cook thrives on stage. The first thing you notice is his physicality. He bounds around like the front man of a rock band, darts back and forth and urges the crowd’s cheers with a series of yells. He might even flash the SuperFinger — SuFi for short — a modified middle-finger gesture he created by using both his middle and ring fingers. He has also been known to douse himself with water, kick the wall behind him and writhe on the floor. Keep in mind, these antics come from a pure place; Dane doesn’t drink at all and has never done a drug in his life.

But Cook has too many weapons in his arsenal to be labeled as just a physical comedian. Instead, he uses that raw energy to push along a constantly revolving catalogue of absurd, seemingly off-the-cuff ramblings.

In a bit where he lists things he has always wanted to do, he says he wants to tell a driver, “You ever turn around in my driveway again, and I’m gonna cut your fucking head off. I’m gonna put your head on my antenna and drive around with your head on my antenna.”

Add to that his penchant for throwing in quick subtleties. When telling the crowd about his new vehicle, a cement truck he named the CT2004, he’s sure to explain that when his friends are in “that big thing that turns in the back” he feeds them Jolly Rancher watermelon — and only watermelon — candies.

And while Cook’s legions of fans are attracted to his coolness, he doesn’t shy away from cornball antics. He’s the type of guy that juxtaposes a bit where he sings words to fit the sound of a car alarm or tries to personify laundry in a dryer — pure cheesiness on both counts — with a bit where he explains how he once catapulted a cashew into his mouth with his erect penis.

That cool-frat-boy-meets-total-dork formula is working. If you haven’t been paying attention, this good-looking 33-year-old comic from suburban Massachusetts has had a jolly stranglehold on the stand-up world since Retaliation came out. Not since Steve Martin’s 1978 release, A Wild and Crazy Guy, has a comedy album done such chart damage. And not since 1990, when Andrew Dice Clay sold out arenas, has there been such an intense following, like that of a rock star, for a comedian. While Clay — brilliant in his own right — relied heavily on shock and bad press to fatten up his fan base, Cook took a more contemporary approach. By now, the stories of Dane’s self-promotion strategies are famous, both to industry insiders and to his fans.

First, there’s MySpace.com, the online social-networking system where Dane has over 500,000 “friends.” He’s on the site constantly, personally responding to e-mails, posting new photos and updating fans on his current instant messenger address. It’s a perfect supplement to the official site he launched in 2002, a user-friendly and incredibly interactive piece of work.

About a decade ago, Cook also decided to shed his baseball cap and sit-at-the-back-of-the-club mentality and start making an effort to meet all his fans after shows, routinely signing every last autograph. These days, the occasional female fan — and he has many — will have Cook sign a breast or two. And once, by request, Dane signed an overzealous fan’s nut sack. “I didn’t so much sign it as I just hatched and dashed and swatted at it,” Cook laughs. “After putting some hieroglyphics on his balls, I threw the marker as far as I could.”

That’s commitment, folks.

A NEW BEGINNING

Cook grew up outside Boston in Arlington, Mass. His mom, Donna was a homemaker, and his dad, George, who now works at a golf course, at different times managed and ran a lumber yard, a window business and a rock club in Cambridge. “My mother is like a Looney Tunes cartoon. She’s wiggly,” Dane says. “She has the ability to tongue in cheek a lot, and do it in a way where she’s being physical. My dad is the polar opposite. He always had a little ‘what the fuck’ in his voice. Even if he knew nothing about what he was talking about, he could sell it. So I looked at these two extremely funny people and created a style of comedy from absorbing their actions.”

He’s the second youngest of seven siblings; there’s a younger sister, one older brother and four older sisters. “That’s ten breasts if you do the math,” he says. “That’s a little fun fact.”

As he tells it, his comedy didn’t grow from pain or a need to fill some emotional void. Though he does admit he was more than a little introverted when he began high school. “Some days, I couldn’t get two blocks from home without dry-heaving or throwing up,” he says. “I was a firecracker in the house, but once you got me outside, I was really fearful of everything and everyone.”

To help break through his shell, Cook took up drama and eventually fell in love with improv and sketch comedy. Later, in his teens, he would learn what it meant to be a standup. He was enthralled with comics who weren’t afraid to sweat on stage — Richard Pryor and Robin Williams — and was equally taken by those like Steven Wright and Bob Newhart, who could ignite a crowd while standing in one place for an hour.

In 1995, Cook moved out of his parent’s basement to New York City and began performing in earnest. Eight years ago, he shuffled 3,000 miles west to LA. But the laid-back, sunny lifestyle of California hasn’t tamed Cook. And the movie deals and piles of scripts on his floor haven’t changed his attitude much, either. But he doesn’t deny there may be some updates to his life down the line. “I’m definitely entering a new realm of my career,” he says. “This is a really great time. I’ll always be able to look back on this time and say that it was the end of those first 15 years. I’m in that position where I achieved everything I’ve dreamed about wanting. That’s where I am now. I’m standing at a new beginning. So where does this take me?”

Dane Cook’s CD/DVD Retaliation is now available. For more information, visit danecook.com.