Video interview: Tommy Johnagin

by Punchline Magazine

In a new episode of A Tight Five, we talk to road warrior comedian Tommy Johnagin — you may have recently seen him on his second appearance on Late Show with David Letterman — about why he tends not to say bad words onstage, his low alcohol tolerance and more. Bonus: Comedians Dan Cummins and J.R. Brow both make special appearances. Enjoy.

And while you’re here, check out the aforementioned Letterman performance below.

Lisa Lampanelli: Insults with a side of sensitive

by Emma Kat Richardson

Lisa Lampanelli has made a career out of insulting every shade of person of Earth. It’s why her fans love her. But her devoted followers are finding new reasons to embrace the veteran comedian. In her new book, we’re introduced to the softer, sensitive insult comic.

There’s nothing inherently earth-shattering about a memoir surrounding addiction, set in a rehab facility. That is, of course, unless that same earth is being shattered under the impressive fist of Lisa Lampanelli: comedian, shit-talker, and now, author.

Although the comedian’s trademark anger, biting social commentary, and profound tendency towards all things decidedly un-PC have brought her to near-icon status, the side of Lampanelli her diehard fans are perhaps less acquainted with includes much sensitivity, vulnerability, and the deep-seeded demons of addiction. Hence comes the debut memoir from the former journalist, Chocolate, Please – a riveting and often harrowing account of Lampanelli’s struggle to fight addictions to both toxic men and toxic eating habits.

But it’s not all doom and gloom for comedy’s lovable “queen of mean”; found in ample quality alongside Lampanelli’s brutally honest prose are jokes by the barrel, good-natured racial jabs, and yes, more than one ringing declaration of her love for the black man.

Checking in with Punchline Magazine for a 6:30 a.m. phone call, Lampanelli discusses her writing process, getting through rehab, and why Oprah can suck a fat one.

What compelled you to write this book? Was it your stints in rehab, or was it something bigger than that?
It was much bigger – it’s called an advance check. I’ve got a lot of expenses: I’ve got a publicist and a manager, the agents managers to pay for. I’ve got to pay a lot of Jews is what I’m trying to say. It was pretty much that; plus, once you go to these rehabs for food and for men, it’s interesting enough crap to write about. It’s not just writing about your dumb childhood or anything like that. Howard Stern seemed to be fascinated by the stories, and once he’s interested, you go, ‘Hmm. I bet people would like to hear this.’

So why did you decide to put the stories in book form instead of just using them in your stand-up?
Because [the book] isn’t hard punch lines; it’s an actual book. It’s not like in the ‘80s, when people used to write books and they’d have all this recycled crap that didn’t belong in a book, things that should have been on a stage but was too bad to do in public. Like, this is a taste of what’s not on the stage and delegated to the book. But I was like, ‘this is actually a story, so I’m going to write it.’ I didn’t have a ghostwriter because I was a journalist, so I have no excuse not to write it. So boom – it’s a book. It’s very funny throughout. I’m actually proud of it; I don’t hate it. That’s the highest praise I can give myself: I don’t hate it.

Did you have a difficult time getting your brand of humor to translate from the stage to the page?
No, no, because like I said, as a former writer, I already know how to write funny. What was difficult was actually sitting down and actually doing it because it’s a pain in the ass. It’s hard to go over those events from your childhood; hard to go over recent events, even if it’s recent breakups and therapy stuff and working on yourself. It was really like taking a dump, except I used much less paper.

Jokes.com
Lisa Lampanelli: Hot Chocolate
comedians.comedycentral.com

Was writing it a cathartic experience for you?
Not really. It just sucked because it’s hard, like the minute it was done, I was like, ‘I’m never writing a book again!’ It was horrible, but I probably will write part two. I might be smart enough to make it a book with a lighter subject matter, meaning like, oh, you know, hey, here’s a relationship book. Here’s an advice book, or something like that. Maybe a ‘How to get along with different races’ book. But oh my god, writing stuff that you really have to dredge up on – never again. Who cares? Until after my parents die and I’m allowed to write what’s really going on, forget it.

Are you worried that some members of your core fan-base might be turned off by the departure from the insult humor into a more honest, vulnerable rhetoric?
Nah, because there are punch lines throughout it. Like, if there was a bunch of prose that was just like, ‘Oh, and then I got molested, and then I got corn holed by my uncle,’ people would be like, ‘Blech!’ But throughout, there’s literally not a paragraph without something funny in it. I literally went paragraph by paragraph and was like, “Okay, add something here. Add something here,” so that people would still be like, “Oh, man, that’s a funny bitch.”

Can you take me through the writing process a little bit? The book is pieced together in parts – there’s the opening section where you talk about your love of black men; the middle biographical section; and then it ends with “Lisa’s Rules.” How did you decide to piece it together in that way?
The way I wanted to do it was: what I’m known for, how I got that way, and just what happened next. The rules were supposed to [match up] with each chapter, but then it seemed to interrupt the flow of the book, so we stuck them all in the back and put them as Lisa’s Rules to Live By. It flows much nicer because it still has to do with the book but it doesn’t interrupt the story line. Because the story line throughout all the rehab and the codependency and the breakup stuff is really interesting, and you just want to go to the next thing; you don’t want it to be cock blocked by all these little thoughts. These are funny enough to stand on their own that you can just put them in their own section and people will get a kick out of them.

But the writing process itself sucks. I knew I had to do 36,000 words, so what I did was divide that amount up by how many words I had to write per day, and the second I hit that [goal], I was like okay, I’m done for the day. It’s so strenuous to go through it, and then you think of notes when you’re in the shower, and you’re like, ‘Oh yeah, I have to tell them about that thing that happened,’ and that thing from eighth grade or whatever. I was just like ugh. Let me get this done one chapter at a time, one day at a time, and it’ll finally be done. I was like to the letter as far as the amount of words [I needed]. I thought, ‘I’m not writing one bit more than I have to. This sucks.’

That’s why guys get ghostwriters. First of all, they can’t write, so I get it. You’re not a writer by trade, you can’t write, so you get a ghostwriter – that’s why. Also, the great thing about doing it their way is that you say it into a tape recorder with a guy and then he goes through all the crap of writing it. At the time I was writing, I didn’t have a boyfriend or anything because I was taking a year off from dating to work on my codependency bullshit, and I thought, ‘What am I supposed to do?’ I wasn’t allowed to have sex, and I wasn’t allowed to overeat. If you want to lose weight, write a book: you might even get anorexic.

That could provide material for the sequel.
Yeah! It works.

Jokes.com
Lisa Lampanelli: Losers
comedians.comedycentral.com

Since you normally filter your stories through a live audience, did lacking that immediate feedback affect your writing process at all?
Well no, because I’m smart enough to read it over. Anything I find funny is funny to everybody else. It’s rare after 18 years to not know what hits, so I read it over and added punch lines; I talked to my manager and said ‘Dude, tell me where this whole part is missing something,’ and she’s really good at that. So yeah, not having people around didn’t detract from it, but we had to be careful that it was actually funny.

Since you mentioned your background in journalism a bit, would you say that this body of work is closer to Lisa Lampanelli the writer or Lisa Lampanelli the comedian?
It’s definitely more comedian, because back in the days I used to interview bands and stuff and write about them. It’s almost like if I had interviewed myself, that was probably the book that had come out. But yeah, in the old days, I would definitely make the prose lively and really different than just plain-old rock journalism. But here, I had to just be me, and it kind of came out. It came out slow, but it came out anyway.

Did you draw on any of your journalism training to write this book?
No. If you’re a writer, you’re kind of born that way. In high school, I never had any talent in any other subjects than English. I don’t even remember how I got through math or science— that’s really freaking hard. So, if you’re meant to do something like this, it never goes away. While I haven’t written in 10 years, you have it there, and you just kind of fall back on it.

The good training was that I had to write a little essay about six months before [I wrote the book] for Reader’s Digest about the first time I got heckled. I was like, ‘Wow, I do remember how to write.’ It was like 2,000 words, and I was like, ‘If I have the confidence to do that, I’ll bet I can write this whole book.’ It all ended up kind of falling pretty easily that way.

Do you keep a diary? Is that how you draw from these reflections?
Oh no, I hate that. It’s like when people say ‘I have to journal.’ And ‘journal’ should not be a verb. It’s so freaking gay – it’s so Oprah-y. All I’ve ever kept was a gratitude journal, but I always forget to do it after three days, because I forget that it helps. I’ve kept a food journal from time to time, but one day I was like, ‘Okay, I’m not cheating on this bullshit.’ Never a journal.

Have you received any feedback from some of the key players that you mention in the book; particularly, some of the ex-boyfriends that you mention?
No. You know what’s good: pretty much the guy who I bottomed out on – that guy Tommy – some writer assumed that it was Tommy Chong. I’ve never met him! It’s pothead Tommy; Tommy Chong doesn’t answer the phone at the Comic Strip. That was hilarious. But no, him I haven’t talked to in two years, so I doubt he would be in touch – that’s definitely the person who gets shit on the most in the book. I’m pretty true in saying that it was partly my fault for dating someone like that.

I did ask my high school friend, who I write about a lot in the beginning, my first chubby white boyfriend, I asked him if it was okay to use his real name. He said no, because he has a business now and I said that he dealt pot or smoked pot or whatever, so I didn’t use his real name. But other than that, I haven’t heard from anybody. Maybe they’re afraid to get in touch with me. Good! Put fear in ‘em.

You haven’t heard from any of your rehab buddies?
Not yet. They’re actually cool. They stop by and come to shows and stuff, but there hasn’t been any real, ‘Hey, that was great.’ Those fuckers better buy it; they acted all supportive when I was in there. Let them freaking read a book. We’ve got to get to the best-seller list, c’mon!

Do you think the book will be sold in the self-help section?
I would think it should be, but they don’t get it yet. That’s what’s so funny; Oprah would love this book if she read the chapters on bottoming out, food addiction and codependency. She’d totally get it. But she’s such a self-serious cunt that she wouldn’t even bother to read a humor book – other than Steve Harvey’s [book] because he’s black – to see if there was anything in it. And that’s okay. It’s politically correct for Steve to say, ‘Think like a woman, act like a man,’ or whatever the fuck that stupid book was (actually, that book was good), but she would think, ‘Oh, that’s the woman that does the racism jokes, so I’m really not going to go there.’

It actually is something that Dr. Phil would read and go, ah, wow. That’s a really interesting story about somebody who really had these issues and is working on them and managing them. You know, I think it’s inspiring. I think it’s more uplifting than Joan Rivers’ plastic surgeon.

What do you think is the most surprising thing you reveal in this book that your fans don’t already know about you?
Just probably that I am sensitive and I have that side of me. But they secretly know it [already]. You don’t laugh at somebody and come to see them two or three times who you don’t think has a heart. My fans, I think they get it, they get that I’m nice, that I’m nice after shows, that I always have respect towards everybody. But the book shows that wow, she has feelings too, which is really cool.

Jokes.com
Stand-Up: Lisa Lampanelli – The Queen of Mean
comedians.comedycentral.com

Have things changed for you since the book was published, in terms of your addictions?
Oh my god. Well, I took like a year and a half off from dating, and then I started dating again, but the quality of guys was much higher. The second I would meet a pothead or an alchie, I was like, ‘Hmm, that’s not for me.’ You just don’t try to change somebody; he’s just not for me. I was like, ‘This is great. The higher quality guy is shifting, gravitating towards me.’

I was having dates here and there, and then I got an email from a guy I’d met a couple of years earlier on The Jim Breuer Show, and it was very respectful, what he said. He was like, ‘I hope you remember me,’ and he’s this really good-looking womp who was like, ‘I think you could use a big Italian in your life.’ I emailed him back my number, we talked for three and a half hours on the phone, and four months later, we got engaged. He’s a nice guy. He’s like that rare combination of a guy who looks like he’s really built; he looks like he could fucking kill you, which I love about a guy, because I want somebody to feel threatened by him. I like a tough guy who inside is a big, mushy sensitive guy. So, that part of my life got a ton better.

As far as the food goes, it’s still a freaking struggle, every day. I have to keep it in check every minute, and we’re totally eating terrible this week because we’re out doing all this press, and I’m like, ‘Gotta get back to the gym. Gotta get back to the meetings.’ Those two things are always getting worked on.

It’s probably like alcohol addiction. They say it never really goes away; you’re always tempted.
Yup, absolutely. And you know, you have to have men, and you have to have food. So you can’t really just say, ‘I’m not doing this anymore.’ It is really hard, but thank god they’re not other addictions. It would be a lot worse.

I guess in some ways that makes it more complex, because unlike drug and alcohol addiction, you can’t just say no.
You have to police yourself. I have an addictive personality: thank god it wasn’t to things that are so terrible you could die from them. You know, unless you’re a 700-pound bitch. But it is one of those things where you just go, “Okay, this will never go away.”

What would you hope to ultimately accomplish with this book?
Well, I don’t want to sound shallow, but I want to freaking get on that bestseller list so bad. I really do. When I play theaters, I don’t check the numbers or the ticket counts, because I don’t want to get depressed if it’s bad. I don’t really check numbers, but my manager emailed me that it was number one in humor and number one in cook books, which I thought was hilarious. People thought Chocolate, Please was a cook book, which I love; I mean, the only recipe in there is how to make an Oreo cookie with the Wayans brothers. I was like, ‘Are you kidding me?’

I’d love to get on the bestseller list, because that makes you feel good. Also, it only makes you feel good for a little bit. It’s so funny how like I used to date a guy who only had one movie role, and he felt good about that for a year. Like, he really felt good about it, and he was so proud of himself. For me, after two hours, I’m done; it doesn’t even register to me that it happened, and I’m on to what’s next. I mean, I enjoy the success, but I know that if I’m on the bestseller list, I could fall off next week. I directly go to ‘how do I do more?’ I’d love to get on the bestseller list, but it’s certainly not going to stick with me and make me feel better about myself.

I did get a kick out of one thing: I got an email from some girl who said, ‘I’m going to go to codependency rehab because of you, because I’ve been dating these terrible guys, so thanks.’ It sounds corny, but that was pretty cool.

To be honest, before I read your book, I didn’t even know that codependency rehab existed.
Oh, it’s the best thing in the world! It’s awesome; it really is. I love it. My fiance and I were talking about it. I have this thing where I don’t believe in being friends with exes, at all. I think it’s always bad; if you have to keep in touch with somebody because you’ve got kids together, that’s fine, but sorry; you’re not friends. I talked to my fiance about it, and I was like, “If somebody tries to get back in touch with me, I’ll be like ‘absolutely not, I’m engaged now.’

I had so much stress about this that I was literally driving myself crazy, going oh my god, what if somebody emails him? You trust that somebody who is a good person will really have the balls to say no. I was stressing so much that I was like, ‘Wow, these codependent tendencies are still there,’ and he said, ‘Hey, if you want me to go with you for a week to [the codependency workshop], I’ll go.’ And I was like, wow, that’s so cool. So it still comes up, and we may go again. I think it’ll be totally worth it. It’s like a little brush up on stuff that we should have been working on all along.

Jokes.com
Lisa Lampanelli – Pickle Kisser
comedians.comedycentral.com

Do you think that once you’re married it’s going to change your stand-up a little bit? Are you going to start doing marriage jokes?
Ew, ew, ew! The thing is, now I have jokes about him and me, but they’re all freaking hilarious. It’s not typical marriage shit. When I met him, I had eight minutes on his nut sack alone. Howard Stern loved all that shit, so I was like, ‘Well, if Howard likes it, I’ll bet it’s funny.’ I’m finding that a lot of my jokes are about him and about the relationship. They’re not mean, though; it’s weird. They’re not nice, but they’re not mean. They’re not touchy, warmy, fucking marriage material, but they’re not ‘hey, he’s an asshole’ either.

It’s weird how there’s this place in between that I don’t think I hear a lot of people go that’s kind of complimentary but still hardcore. I like that. It’ll definitely change the material, because you talk about whatever’s happening in your life, but it’s definitely edgier than a lot of stuff. I always go, ‘Oh, that’ll be the edgiest I get,’ but then it’ll get edgier and edgier. It’s like, holy shit., there’s just no rules, I guess. No boundaries.

But now that you’re not dating assholes, did you have to kind of change your material a bit?
No, because you just kind of go for what you’re feeling. I never sit down and write jokes: I never sit at a computer and go, ‘Let me write for two hours today.’ I just go with what comes out onstage, and then I punch it up, like if I’m mad, I’ll start talking onstage, and then it’ll end up into a bit. I still get to [my new material] the same way, so it’s like the genuine Lisa Lampanelli stuff; it’s just maybe slightly different subject matter, like how each of my DVDs is different from the last, just in terms of subject matter, but not really in tone.

For more info, check out Lisa’s official site at lisalampanelli.com.

Marc Maron’s ‘Scorching the Earth’ hits Chicago

by Punchline Magazine

After debuting his one-man show Scorching the Earth in New York in January, running it through March and bringing it to Montreal for nine shows at Just For Laughs this past summer, Marc Maron is bringing his epic tale of love, sex and divorce to the Lakeshore Theater in Chicago this weekend starting tomorrow and running through Saturday for four shows. Punchline Magazine, once again, is proud to present the show. If you’re in the Chicago metro area, you should see for yourself why Time Out: New York says it’s “refreshing in its candor and relatable to any one who’s ever been on the wrong side of love.”

Earlier this year, we sat down with Maron to talk about the show, amongst other things. Check it out and then get your tickets to Scorching the Earth here.

Larry the Cable Guy: Tailgating king of comedy

by Dylan P. Gadino

Tailgate parties are no longer just for sporting events and giant rock concerts. It is now also the province of comedians, or, at least for one comedian: Larry the Cable Guy.

After 1987’s Farm Aid, the University of Nebraska vowed to never again host a non-sporting event in their legendary Memorial Stadium. It seems the Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp contingency didn’t leave the space the way they found it. So it seemed quite a long-shot that the powers that be would allow a comedian and his zealous fanbase to inhabit the holy sports ground.

But when you’re Larry the Cable Guy (real name: Dan Whitney) — a hometown dude with with a pair of gold and a pair of platinum albums, who’s entering his sixth year of selling out arenas nationwide — rules tend to break.

And so the stage was set for the top-selling comic to record his new album and DVD Tailgate Party in front of 53,000 people; it’s out in stores and online everywhere tomorrow. But the comedy juggernaut will take no break after the release. Rather, he’ll be touring through Dec. 12, prepping for his Nov. 20 CMT special Larry the Cable Guy’s Hula-Palooza Christmas Luau and working with his child advocacy charity, the Git-R-Done Foundation, to which he recently donated $1 million.

In an brand new, exclusive interview, Larry the Cable Guy talks to Punchline Magazine about how he says that show almost killed him, what he thinks of people calling him a fake and much more.

It wasn’t such an automatic thing that Memorial Stadium in Nebraska was going to hand over their place for you to record the new album, right?
My manager was talking to me and saying that we should just do one big show somewhere and I said, yeah, let’s do it, let’s make some noise. And he’s like we oughta do it at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Nebraska, your home state. And inside my head, I’m going it’s never going to happen. But I’m like yeah, that’d be cool, that’d be awesome, not even thinking there would be a prayer to do it.

Six weeks later, he says, ‘Ok we’re done, we’re set up. We’re doing a show at the stadium.’ And I was like, ‘Get outta here, how did that happen?’ You know how the Grand Old Opry is the Mother Church of Country music. Well, this is the Mother Church of football right here. The only thing they ever had that wasn’t football there was in 1987— Farm Aid with Willie Nelson. And after it was done they said never again will we have a concert in this stadium. The fans tore things up. So, I said there’s not a prayer they’d let me do the show there. Sure enough, we got it.

And as soon he said we got the stadium and we’re going to do a july 4th show, I got sick. I think I took a crap eight times and then about two months before the show, I started getting TMJ. My jar started popping and I couldn’t close my mouth. I needed a mouthpiece to sleep at night because they said I was grinding my teeth. My jaw was effed up. And I went to the dentist and he said it’s because of stress. And sure enough, I did the show and three days later my mouth went back to normal. The show almost killed me.

But I was thinking to myself that I sell good tickets in Nebraska. But, even if I sell 20,000, the place is still going to look empty cause it’s meant for 50,000. So now I think I’m going to embarrass myself. We sold 37,000 tickets in the first two days and then by the weekend the tickets were gone. And I said, ‘Holy shit.’ I couldn’t believe it. And now I’m really getting nervous. And plus, it was a TV taping for my special for Comedy Central. I get nervous for those just in a small theater. So now I have the stress of the show and TV cameras.

So how did you get through the show?
That morning I got up in the morning to do an interview for Biography and I did the interview. But the whole time I wasn’t there because I was thinking about the show. I said I was going to go over my act a couple times that afternoon. I couldn’t remember any of it. I couldn’t remember how I started, setups, segues— I was freaking out. And about two hours before the show I started hearing people yelling Git-R-Done and one whole section chanting Larry! Larry! Larry! And dude, I started getting fired up. My opening act went up and just killed and came off stage and said to me, ‘It’s just like a comedy club’ and I was like ‘It’s not like a comedy club.’

As soon as I walked out there and they started cheering and I got my first laugh I was so into the show, I don’t even remember seeing a TV camera. It went off smooth and the sound was unbelievable. And I’m a one-liner, timing guy and so I was thinking we have 53,000 people for a one liner, timing comedian, this is going to suck. But I really felt like I was working a small room. As far as the CD material itself goes, it’s the best CD I’ve done so far. I counted that there’s between 350-400 punch lines. And all of them hit huge.

It’s pretty funny to hear someone as successful as you would be so nervous over a show like this.
If you didn’t, there would be something wrong with you. I had the experience of doing it before. In 1997 I got invited to do Gator Growl in Florida, my second home. I actually lived there more years than I did in Nebraska. I was one of three other comedians. This is a show you would never ever see again. It was me, Dave Chappelle, Carlos Mencia and Ray Romano. I was the first one up. I was pretty much the up and coming guy. And so was Carlos. Dave just had Half-Baked out. Ray was really the big draw. I remember hearing that Robin Williams said that he threw up before Gator Growl, which is a big pep rally. And if you’re not funny, 84,000 people boo you. They booed Bob Hope. It’s a rough crowd.

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There’s a beer brewed in your honor— Git-R-Done American Golden Lager. Not many comedians, or people for that matter, can say that. How did that happen? And is the beer any good?
It’s really good. My wife’s side of the family is from Wisconsin and so they’re all huge beer drinkers. And my sister in law, who’s very picky about her beer, loved it. She thought it was great. And it is. They make it in my hometown. I worked out a deal with them where all the money that I make from that beer goes into a fund and I can allocate that money to go back into the town anyway I want. It was kind of a cool thing to give back to my hometown, because I love my hometown and it helps them get their name out there. They sell it mainly, I think, in Nebraska.

You’re married and have two kids now. Has that changed what you do onstage at all?
I wanna kill the son-a-bitches, to be honest with ya. They ruined my life. No, the only thing is, before I had kids, I could care less. People want to show you pictures of their kids; I don’t give a shit about your kids. Are they breastfeeding? I’ll take a peak at it. When you have kids, it’s a whole different thing. It changes your life. Now you’re a father. It makes you grow up a ton. But my act is my act. It didn’t change my material. The only thing it changed is that it added another good 12 minutes of laughs. It did change my character a little bit. When I first started doing this, it was complete theater of the mind, because I was on the radio. I would make up relatives, girlfriends, ex-wives.

Then when I started doing it onstage and people could see me, I still did things like, ‘My sister’s covered in moles.’ Well, I have a sister but she’s not covered in moles. Now since I have a family, I don’t do as much ex-girlfriend because everyone knows I’m married. They see me with my wife in pictures. So before, it was all made-up family and a made-up life. Now, I’ve incorporated my kids and it’s real stories. So it’s kind of like Seinfeld where the bizarro Jerry and the real Jerry are starting to mix. It’s made the act grow a lot. It allowed me to write other material that would probably bring in another type of fan base.

I like to be able to do reach other people and do other projects. I like doing Pixar, the Mate character [from the movie Cars]. I know kids like me, and when I’m doing a live performance, I’m also a parent. I like watching cartoons with the kids and going to the zoo with the kids. And now and again I like to go out with my wife and have some good adult entertainment. I like to be pretty universal onstage. So I do stuff for the kids but when people come to the shows, I’m not going to make sure my crowd is filled with kindergartners.

What’s the biggest misconception people have about you?
Some people think that I’m like this all the time— the way I am onstage. And then some people think I’m nothing at all even close to what I am onstage. Some people think that I grew up in an apartment in New York or LA and just decided to be a Blue Collar redneck comedian. Those are all complete misconceptions. Here’s my life in a nutshell: I grew up on a farm in Nebraska and I raised pigs. I grew up in the middle of nowhere. I moved to West Palm Beach, Florida when I was 15. I went to college at a Baptist school in Georgia. I started doing stand-up and when you do stand-up, you don’t know what you’re doing; you have to find your voice. It’s not going to happen over night.

So, I met [Jeff] Foxworthy back in early to mid ‘80s. We were both big Atlanta Braves fans. I really gravitated to Jeff because I went to college in Georgia. I can always go in and out of the accent any time I wanted. All my cracker friends were real southern. I don’t know about you but if you hang out with guys that are your buddies for 16 years, you’re going to start talking with their accent. And when you’re hanging out with your buddies that don’t have accents, you come out of it. That’s just how it is. And so me and Jeff would do nothing but riff on old country accents and tell jokes to each other that way. I found it to be funny so I started doing it onstage. All my cracker friends thought it was hilarious because we all knew people that talked that way.

So then you started incorporating those types of bits in your act?
Yeah, and I made them cable installers. It was a about a three-minute bit of my act and it was killing. So I started doing it on the radio. And when you’re a comedian, you wanna sell tickets. So that’s what I started doing. I found something that I could do onstage and I could do good. I started going out as Larry the Cable Guy, because it was fun for me to write for because I grew up that way. So I think the misconception was that I was a failed comedian and all of a sudden I hooked on to this redneck thing to capitalize on it, which is as far from the truth as you can get. I grew up that way. When I started doing stand-up, that’s the stuff that started working for me. The only thing I really did, was I put the accent on because at the time, it was hilarious. That’s how me and my buddies would talk. I’ve always been a country kid, a rural kid and when I go onstage, that’s my show, that’s what I do. I make up stupid one-liners about made-up relatives and real relatives.

Everyone tries to pick it apart as something political. It’s not. It’s just good fun with stupid one-liners— just good comedy fun. I don’t care if they think I’m that way onstage. I don’t care if they think I’m doing a character or I’m kinda doing a character. As long as they think it’s funny, that’s all I care about. I’m comfortable in my life to know what’s real and what isn’t real. And for anyone to say I’m not allowed to do country stuff, because I’m not country enough, they have no idea what they’re talking about. And I’ll take them into my hometown and show them.

Jokes.com
Larry The Cable Guy – Panties
comedians.comedycentral.com

When Bob Simon did that thing for 60 Minutes on me, I took him into my town. And he asked me, ‘Will people recognize you, will they ask for autographs?’ I said, ‘Bob, I’ll be honest with you. You’ll be lucky to find anyone in town because they’re all farming.’ And sure enough we went there and there was nobody in that town. Bob Simon actually fell asleep as we were doing the tour of the town. I look over and he’s out, which I found to be hilarious.

So does it bother you when people misconstrue your performance?
People say I’m a fake. Whatever. Look, I’m doing stand-up. I’m doing what I love to do. I’m making people laugh in a really shitty world right now. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. If people want to say I’m a phony, they can say I’m a phony. But all’s they have to do is look at my life growing up and they’d easily change their opinion. You can’t help what people say. It’s like what Bill Cosby said: If you try to make everybody happy, you’re never going to be successful. I’ve always, unlike some people, like to learn from the people that have been there.

For more info on Larry, check out his official site at larrythecableguy.com. Click the image below to buy his new album.

Dwight York: Quickies

by John Delery

Jokes come in all sizes; sometimes the smaller, the better. Dwight York proves that on Quickies, his barrage of bawdy and balmy humor.

If he were being paid by the joke or laugh, either way he would bankrupt his record company, Stand Up! Records: This CD, one of the most entertaining comedy releases of 2009, is that hilarious and that full of bodacious punch lines. (“Took a drug test the other day; it came back negative, which means my dealer has a lot of explaining to do.”)

Warning: Have an inhaler or oxygen tank nearby because York never lets his audience catch its breath during his routine, a test of his memory and the crowd’s endurance for amusement. “I hope you like jokes, because here we go,” he announces at the outset, the shot from the starter’s pistol for what becomes a 49-minute marathon without a pause for water or air.

Actually, he performs the comic equivalent of a Fourth of July fireworks grand finale: a nonstop salvo of one-liners that spotlights York’s silly side (“The other day I saw two midgets playing miniature golf. Surprised you don’t see that more often”) and his devilish side (“A banana a day is supposed to be a good way to keep the colon clean. Turns out you have to eat it”). Dwight York, as inventive as he is suggestive, is what Steven Wright would be if Wright had Robert Schimmel’s blue streak, and that’s a compliment to all three master comics.

To buy York’s album, just click the image below.

Margaret Cho: Drop dead funny

by Emma Kat Richardson

After 25 years in the comedy business, Margaret Cho is on top of yet another career peak: she has a starring role in Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva, is currently on a national tour and has a new musical comedy album in the works.

Top-selling comedienne, author, activist, and self-described “shit-starter;” Margaret Cho wears many hats – some with the festive, frisky flash of an over-sized sombrero, others with the down-to-earth pragmatism of a Dodgers baseball cap.

Her latest venture – a musical album tentatively titled Guitarded – is set to debut Cho’s surprising singing talents alongside her considerable comic chops: a skill that has landed her a starring role on Lifetime’s hit dramedy Drop Dead Diva (which has just been renewed for a second season), not to mention a skill that has left legions of fans hungry for more Cho.

Checking in with Punchline Magazine (it was so nice, she came back to us twice!) the lovely Miss Cho shares a few exclusive scenes from her endless well of creative talent, scenes that you’ll also be able to check out on the tour she’s currently on, running through October.

What made you decide to make the leap from straight-up stand-up to musical comedy?
I think of it still as stand-up but I am always trying to vary my methods, do different things, like incorporating movement and dance and now playing and singing, but its still stand-up comedy to me. I have been doing comedy for so long – 25 years – so I need to keep myself sharp and relevant and have fun so I like to try new things.

What can fans of your comedy expect from your first music album?
Well, its basically funny songs with serious music from the best musicians in the world. I’m so lucky to have my favorite artists supporting me through this – people like Andrew Bird, Jon Brion, Patty Griffin and Grant Lee Phillips. It’s gonna be cool.

So many actors and comedians have tried their hand at music and failed. How do you plan to transcend the odds and make your album accessible to both music and comedy fans alike?
I think it’ll succeed because it’s a comedy record, and I am not trying to become a singer for real – its just another way of telling jokes, which for me is very natural, so I feel very confident about it.

Who would you point to as some of your musical influences?
Everyone on the record – and most of all Jon Brion. Then Neil Finn, who I’m still trying to write with so I may get all my heroes on this project.

What drew you to the script and set of Drop Dead Diva?
I fell in love with the writing, and [producer] Josh Berman’s vision. It’s so great and perfect for what women need right now: A fantastic show about body image and self esteem that’s moving and powerful and funny. I love it.

Do you see yourself branching out into more acting roles? What part do you see this TV series playing in your career?
I don’t know. I just love the show and living in Georgia where we shoot gives me lots of time for the banjo.

For more on Cho and her current tour dates, check out her official site at margaretcho.com.

Video interview: Laurie Kilmartin

by Punchline Magazine

Continuing our series of video interviews shot at the Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival earlier this summer, today we premiere an excellent discussion with comedian Laurie Kilmartin. We cover everything from why “I hate my baby” jokes are funnier than “I love my baby” jokes, overcoming insecurity as a comedian and much more. Check it out. And be sure to pick up Laurie’s new album, Five Minutes To Myself.

Comedy Matters with Bobby Lee, Jeffrey Ross and more

by Jeffrey Gurian

CHRIS ROCK STEPS UP

In 1986, Chris Rock was discovered at the Comic Strip by owner Richie Tienken and Eddie Murphy. The story goes that Chris was setting up chairs and cleaning up in exchange for stage time, in a deal he made with Lucien Hold, the legendary manager of the club. One night Eddie Murphy came in to see Tienken, who was his manager for 11 years, and asked if there were any Black comics he could see. In those days there weren’t many.

Richie didn’t want Eddie to leave so he told Lucien to put Chris Rock on even though the room was packed and Chris had never performed for more than 12 people. He usually went on around two in the morning. Legend has it that Chris got up there and killed. Chris himself told me he just did ‘Okay.’ What he said was, “I wasn’t Joe Bolster. Nobody beats Joe Bolster on stage at the Comic Strip.”

That being said, he did well enough that Eddie befriended him, leading to his groundbreaking role in Beverly Hills Cop 2 in 1987. When Chris was leaving LA after the shoot was over, he was walking down this long corridor, turned to Tienken, and yelled back “Hey Richie, don’t forget about me!” And Richie didn’t.

He immediately called Lucien back in New York and told him to make sure to give Chris Rock good spots, which he did. Aside from liking Chris, Tienken knew that Chris was going be big, and he wanted to have both Eddie and Chris performing at the club. Chris never forgot about Richie’s kindness, and now that we’re working on the book and documentary film in honor of the 35th anniversary of the club, Chris Rock stepped up to the plate and accepted the position of executive producer of the film. He had already given us a two hour interview for the book. This is a guy who didn’t forget where he came from.

Chris was also very glad to see Richie re-gaining his strength, and recovering from his recent illness. Now there’s a new Rock hanging out at the Comic Strip. Chris’ little brother Jordan, who’s following in the footsteps of his brothers Chris and Tony, is there almost every night. He hangs out at the bar and does “latenight” at the same place where both of his brothers made names for themselves. He definitely has the Rock smile, if not the Rock beard.

Letterbox Pictures, the Emmy award winning company based in NY and LA, is shooting the documentary film, and is helmed by Abby Russell, who’s producing, and her partner Brent Sterling-Nemetz who’s directing. Abby is known for having created The Hamptons Comedy Festival, which I had the honor of co-producing with her in 2004. It’s the fund raising arm for Comedy Fights Cancer, the organization that brings comedy shows to people in hospitals. I myself performed in her shows at Sloane Kettering a couple of times, and thank G-d no patients got worse as a result!

One day we shot a table of comics reminiscing about their histories with The Strip, Lucien, and Richie. It was Danny Cohen, (who was there without his broach!), Lenny Marcus, Barry Weintraub, Bernadette Pauley, Cory Kahaney, and Dan Naturman. When we went to take the photos at the end, Lenny Marcus said he didn’t feel the shot would be complete without me in it, so I jumped in because basically I’m not happy till Lenny Marcus is happy. (I have him brainwashed into believing no shot is complete if I’m not in it!)

GOTHAM HAPPENINGS

A couple of comedy clubs have had TV shows in the past, but the only one still happening is Gotham’s Live at Gotham on Comedy Central. Live at Gotham features the best new comic talents from all over the country. Each show features a star comic host and six really funny comedians.

This hit show taped it’s 4th season recently, and some of the hosts were Jim Jeffries, Rob Riggle, Charlie Murphy, Jo Koy, Doug Benson, Paul F. Tomkins, and one of my personal favorites Judah Friedlander, the World’s Greatest Champion and star of NBC’s 30 Rock. I went to catch the show hosted by Bobby Lee, a really funny comic I saw recently headlining at Carolines. Bobby got his big break one night in 1995 when Pauley Shore saw him on stage and asked him to open for him in Las Vegas.

Bobby wound up being a regular at The Comedy Store where he met Carlos Mencia and wound up going on the road with him as well. He was a longtime cast member on Mad TV, and has been in films like Harold and Kumar and Kickin’ It Old Skool. I’m a sucker for accents, and I love it when he imitates his Korean Dad who once got him a job selling corn on the side of the highway. One day when business was slow, his father told him he had to yell out the word “corn.” To see him on stage screaming the word “corn” at imaginary cars passing by doing 70 mph was definitely a comedic treat.

Stand-outs on the show were Dustin Ybarra, who may possibly have stranger hair than I do, and who is very funny and got huge applause. L.A. comic Patrick Keane, the white guy from MY TV’s Tony Rock Project, was also a stand-out. He said he played ball in high school but wasn’t that good. The coach sat him so far down the bench, the other team thought he was on their team.

I also liked his take on Cain, from biblical brothers Cain and Abel, which reference once lead me to a good Roast joke. “He treated me like we were brothers, ‘Cain and Abel.’” He said that when Cain was around there were only a handful of people on Earth. Cain killed one of the three people he knew, which meant that if you knew Cain, you only had a 66 1/3 percent chance of surviving. Very clever.

L.A. Comic Don Friesen holds the honor of being the only comic to ever win the prestigious San Francisco International Comedy Competition twice, in it’s 30 year history. That’s the competition that helped launch the careers of Robin Williams, Dana Carvey, Ellen DeGeneres and Sinbad. Don said his wife told him he had to be stricter with the kids. They have to know that “No” means “No.” He said, “Well, what if I’m raising them to be sales people?” My thought was, what if he was raising them to be rapists?

JACK CHEESE AND MARTY FROMAGE

There’s a special bond between comics who start out together, and come up through the ranks at the same time. (Like Tony Rock and Sherrod Small for example!) Once you endure torture with someone, it brings you together in a way most people wouldn’t understand. It was that way with Bobcat Goldthwait and Robin Williams.

Robin is starring in Bobcat’s new film, World’s Greatest Dad playing Lance Clayton, a high school poetry teacher who has learned to settle for his lot in life, despite having dreams of being a famous writer. When his son dies in a “sexual-gratification accident,” he’s suddenly faced with the possibility of achieving everything he has always wanted, through a bizarre series of events created by Bobcat Goldthwait’s inventive mind.

Bobcat made the transition from stand-up and acting to working behind the camera as a writer/director when as he put it, “my retirement from acting came at the same time people weren’t hiring me, so it wasn’t such a bold move!” He said he had started doing stand-up at only 15 years old in Syracuse, (which was strange because he was living in Indiana at the time !), and then at 18 he moved to Boston and would come down to New York to audition for Letterman and other shows. “When I was in San Francisco as a young performer, with Robin Williams, sometimes I appeared using the name Jack Cheese. And sometimes when we played clubs together in San Francisco, which was thanks to him and not to me, since he was already pretty well known, he didn’t want to publicize his appearance, so he used the name Marty Fromage.”

There were some clubs that tried to cash in on the connection to Mork and Mindy, so they advertised him as “Marty From Mars” instead of “Marty Fromage.” Robin also had a cameo in Goldthwait’s film Shakes The Clown, in which he was again billed as Marty Fromage. (For those of you who never took French in high school, “fromage” means “cheese.”)

Bobcat gets offered lots of reality shows but he prefers to work behind the scenes. His favorite job of all time was directing Jimmy Kimmel Live. He had had many jobs going back to high school, where he worked as a janitor, which he said facetiously was a great way to get lots of girls. On my way to this interview with Bobcat, I got caught up in midtown traffic and was really afraid I’d be late, but as often happens to me, for whatever reason, as I got to the door of Magnolia Pictures where the interview was taking place, a car pulled up, and who stepped out but Bobcat and his publicist. So I wound up riding up in the elevator with him, and was able to invite him to be in the Comic Strip book and documentary film, just cause I got there late.

It’s happened to me many times. Once years ago, I attended the premiere of the Richard Lewis film Drunks. My goal was to see Richard, but I didn’t let him know I was coming. I got there late, ran down the wrong staircase, and wound up running right into Richard walking up the stairs. He looked at me and said, “What the f*+% are you doing here?” I told him I had come to see the film and bring him some unsolicited comedy material, which I gave him right then and there. Richard has never used any one else’s material, but I felt so strongly that I could write for him, that I decided to try anyway. The worst that could happen was that he’d have me deported and threaten my family, right?

Later that very same night there was a message on my home answering machine from Richard, thanking me for the material, and explaining that he never used anyone else’s material but that if he did, he would use this, and somewhere in there he used the word “brilliant.” I actually have that call on my website as it was such an honor to get that kind of compliment from Richard Lewis. I’ve always been a huge fan of his work. Make sure to go see World’s Greatest Dad.

COMEDY MATTERS QUICKIES

Comic Sue Costello is on the move. She recently finished shooting a feature film called The Fighter, which is a boxing movie based on the true life story about the step brothers from Lowell, MA. Mickey Ward played by Mark Walhberg, and Dicky Ward, played by Christian Bale. Dicky fought Sugar Ray Leonard then developed a crack addiction. He then trained his brother Micky to a welterweight championship. Sue played a crack addict with Christian Bale.

She also has a one-woman show called Minus 32 Million Words, about growing up fighting in Boston and then moving away and learning to use her words, instead of her fists, after reading an article in the New York Times that said that poor kids hear 32 million less words than rich kids.

BRIMSTONE ROAST

Brimstone, the wrestler/actor/philanthropist was roasted for his 35th birthday, as a way of raising money to help poor kids break into the arts, through the help of The Brimstone Foundation. I was the Roast coordinator, and worked the red carpet interviewing the celebs that attended the event. My co-host was Josaine Espinal Coba, who you might have seen on WE TV’s Bridezillas. Josaine was “the Dominican Bridezilla” which meant she “out-Bridezilla’ed” the other girls using just her head motions alone, while she was yelling at people, and telling her bridesmaids to massage her feet.

Josaine and I had a great time together. Contrary to her on-screen presence she’s a very sweet girl with a great sense of humor. We got to interview a lot of the reality stars that showed up like Sarah Hartshorne, and Claire Unabia from America’s Next Top Model, and Leilene Ondrade from Flavor of Love, Charm School, and I Love Money. And we also got to interview Pablo Escobar Jr., the actual son of Pablo Escobar Sr.

Junior was larger than life and was a very funny roaster. He was carrying a magazine with a photo of his father on the cover, and told me of his plans to do a movie about his Dad, showing the good side of him that not many people ever saw. I figured he would have no trouble getting it made because when you think about it, who says “No” to Pablo Escobar Jr.? (It’s a rhetorical question that needs no answer!)

ECNY SHOWCASE

The ECNY awards were created in 2003, and used to stand for “Emerging Comics of New York” awards, Now according to Jon Friedman, from Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, and the creator of The Rejection Show, (something I know lots about!) it no longer means that. He’s not sure what it means but he knows it no longer means that.

I brought Sarah Hartshorne with me from America’s Next Top Model, who is actually very funny and should be doing stand-up. The show was great, with Michelle Collins from Best Week Ever as a stand-out stand-up. Her rapid fire delivery and powerful stage presence really won me over.

Then there was a video from Nick Kroll and John Mulaney that knocked me out. It was a 1930’s style newsreel called “Cavalcade of Personalities” and when I get a minute I have to call them and find out how they did it. It was fantastic.

PARTYING ON THE WENDY WILLIAMS SHOW

Josaine and I got along so well that she brought me as her guest for her appearance on the fabulous Wendy Williams Show on weekdays at 10 A.M. on Fox. After 23 successful years on the radio, for which she will be inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame this November, Wendy now has a hit TV show. Last summer, Wendy made the move to TV, and Fox tested out her show in four markets for six weeks, where it beat out every other show amongst young women, which is the demographic that advertisers look for. (It’s also the demographic that most young men look for! )

As a result, the show launched nationally in July. Wendy is a truly beautiful woman, with an amazing smile, and fabulous voice, who is larger than life, and so comfortable with herself that she even adjusts her wig, (one of many that she proudly owns!) on camera.

She loves being the tallest woman in any room and often adds five inches to her 5’11” height with her Christian Louboutin heels. She has truly embraced herself as a woman, which comes across with her amazing comfort on camera. Wendy is no stranger to comedy as she had a long running show at Carolines every Wednesday night called The Wendy Williams Experience and Wendy held court there as only Wendy can do. So she’s naturally funny and brings out “the funny” in her guests.

Backstage in the green room, everyone’s very chill, and I ran into Wendy’s longtime, loyal assistant Pamela Smith who I had met before at Carolines. Pamela makes sure everything gets done the way it’s supposed to, and she made sure we were all very comfortable.

Josaine actually got to open the show and bring on Wendy, while I sat in the front row with her husband Bobby. The show’s like a real party cause there’s a DJ spinning hot music and the audience actually gets up and dances on the show stage before the show actually starts. By the time Wendy comes out everyone is pumped. Make sure to tune in. You’ll have lots of fun. I know I’m planning on going back.

JEFFREY ROSS WRITES A BOOK

Speaking of Roasts, … aside from all the other things he does, like acting, dancing (Dancing With The Stars), and movie making, (Patriot Act) Jeffrey Ross had made quite a name for himself as a “Roaster.” Jeffrey has been a hit on the famed Friars Roasts for many years, as well as the spin-off Comedy Central Roasts, like the most recent one of Joan Rivers. Now Jeffrey has written a book called I Only Roast The Ones I Love – Busting Balls Without Burning Bridges, which I will get to see at the book party at The Friars Club on September 10th. I hope he will write something nice for me in the book, but I won’t count on it!

We interviewed Jeffrey recently for the book and the documentary film we’re doing on The Comic Strip, and when I opened with the question, so how long have you been performing comedy and what are your earliest memories of The Comic Strip, Jeffrey answered by saying, “I started performing the year you bought those sunglasses. (LOL) I think it was about 1989, the same year those Capezios you’re wearing were in fashion.”

And it was then that I realized two things, one that I was actually being roasted by Jeffrey Ross, and that two, I should never try to do a book interview on camera, because as soon as comedians see a camera they start performing. It was a good lesson, and fortunately I still wound up with a great interview, because Jeffrey Ross is a funny man.

Anyway, until next time, remember … COMEDY MATTERS!!!

Matt Braunger: Soak up the laughs

by Tom Keller

Matt Braunger has had the deep respect of his LA and Chicago comedy scene contemporaries for years. But thankfully, with a powerful, albeit brief stint on MadTV, a new album on Comedy Central Records and a robust tour schedule, the Oregon native has become a national hit.

Go ahead, try not to laugh at Matt Braunger. We dare you. Watch his rubber face bend around the room and back again, listen to his fully-invested bits fly out with such gusto they leave sweat on his brow, feel his anger rise as he posits that Billy Joel’s famous “Piano Man” is actually a self-involved asshole. (“Man, what are you doing here?” is the money shot line.)

Braunger, who studied theater in New York and improv in Chicago, has established himself as one of the most versatile comedians on the market. He was voted best of the fest at last year’s Aspen Rooftop Comedy and this weekend is scheduled to perform at Bumbershoot in Seattle along with Reggie Watts and Todd Barry. His new digital album, Soak Up The Night, released by Comedy Central Records, is a carnival ride of absurdity, the kind of finely crafted comedic blueprint that only a true disciple of the art could pull off. Here, he chats with Punchline Magazine about paying his dues, his short-lived run on MadTV and what he could really use a federal stimulus package for.

What’s a perk of the comedian lifestyle that people don’t know about?
Our lives as comedians are so different. The other weekend I had someone yell one of my bits at me from across an IKEA. I’ve been illegally filming an Internet show called IKEA Heights with my friend David Seger in an IKEA. It’s a soap opera where I play a homicide detective. We use the beds and desks at IKEA as the set, like that’s where we live. The best part is when people in the back look at us like we’re crazy while I’m yelling in the phone about how we can’t let the killer loose.

So yeah, someone was yelling one of my bits across the IKEA at me, then they ran over and shook my hand. It was a couple I’d never met in my life. I was like, ‘Hey, thanks, I appreciate it, but we’re actually doing something they’re not supposed to know about, so I just blew any shot at being inconspicuous.’ I don’t know if that’s a perk. I don’t get any of the, ‘Oh here, you should sleep with my cousin’ perks, and I don’t get any freebies from the IKEA people.

Have you ever shot in a location like that before?
The second thing I shot for MadTV was a thing where I was a reporter who didn’t think he was reporting that day and had a couple drinks at lunch, then got called to do a man on the street interview. So people thought I was a reporter who was actually really fucked up trying to hold it in. I was saying inappropriate stuff and pushing the mic into people’s mouths and audibly hearing it hit their lips. I normally hate doing prank stuff. I don’t mind if I look stupid but I hate making other people feel self-conscious. But when we were pulling guys aside to have them sign the release form and they were saying, ‘He’s messed up, man. Get him some water and drive him home, he’s really trashed,’ I was like, ‘Good, my acting training has paid off.’

You mention on your album starting out in dive bars. What was your most hellish gig?
I did about an hour in a bar in the woods of Oregon for nine tree farmers and loggers. I remember walking in and going, ‘This is death.’ But it actually was fine. I gave them a signed headshot and they hung it on the wall. It may still be in the bar. I brought my dad along and he got a big kick out of it. My parents have been incredibly supportive.

What’s the smallest crowd you ever had?
Three. It’d be very depressing in Chicago; you’d literally have an empty room. In a lot of bars, there’s a bar in front and a stage in back behind a curtain, and when nobody’s there the comics come out and go, ‘Hey, the show’s starting.’ And the response would be, ‘Go F yourself.’ When no one’s there, you’ve just got to call it. But there’s always still that comic that’s like, ‘Let’s just start.’ For who? For each other? We can do that in someone’s living room. But there are guys who never want to call it. ‘Hey, I took two trains to get here. I’m going to do comedy for you guys.’ No, you’re not going to do that. We’re leaving.

What’s the first comedy you remember listening to?
When I was four, I would sneak down the staircase late at night to watch Saturday Night Live. I remember seeing Eddie Murphy as Gumby and laughing but not understanding at all. As a kid, I pretty much wore out George Carlin’s Class Clown album. I was fascinated because we both grew up Catholic, but he was a hardscrabble New York Catholic and I was an extremely liberal, hippy-dippy Portland Catholic. It was such a difference, but I liked his humanity and how he could talk to an audience like he was talking to a friend on the street corner. I wasn’t allowed to listen to the seven words you’re not allowed to say on TV, but of course I did. I remember hiding it and listening real quietly. That was a secretive section of the record that you were never supposed to put the needle on.

When did you start to think of comedy as a lifestyle?
I was in Chicago waiting tables and bartending. I had been an actor for many years but got into improv and started doing open mics. A friend really liked me and put me up in his shows, and after a couple years said, ‘You know, you could really do this for living.’ I knew I wanted to be a performer. I kind of wanted to do both, which I’m more or less doing now. I figured if I could make money doing stand-up, I’d do that because I love it too. If you have a work ethic, you can make something of a living at it.

It’s been a real gradual thing. I don’t remember a moment where the light went on like, let’s go! When I quit my day job almost three years ago, that was a moment of like cutting the strings, but it was always there. I didn’t do Letterman and run out saying, ‘Fuck you!’

All things equal, where would be your ultimate place to live?
As long as I’m afloat and somewhat comfortable, I’m pretty happy where I’m at. I live in a modest apartment in Silver Lake in Los Angeles. If I had my druthers and could have accessibility to roadwork, I guess maybe I’d have a house in Portland. That’s my favorite city. But I really enjoy L.A. People think of L.A. as Beverly Hills or Sunset Strip, but those are not places I go near. I discover new things about the city every day, new places to hang out, the history. New York is the best place in the world to visit, same with Chicago, but right now I can’t imagine living there. Like anybody, I’d like to own my own home, but that’s like saying, ‘I’d like to grow my own angel wings and not have to drive.’

That probably won’t happen until Obama introduces a tax credit for angel wings.
Science might make it happen someday. We’re going to clone condors and breed them for wings to attach to us. But I’ll still be screwed because they won’t have big and tall wings. Big guys will have ugly bat wings that bump into people at the bar and they’ll be like, ‘Dude, get away from me, your wings are gross.’

Would you be up for working in the sketch side of things again?
I’d love to do it again. It’d have to be the right format and the right people. A lot of times people think that you could just throw funny people together. But if they don’t work well together or someone doesn’t contribute enough or just wants to be a star, it can be excruciating.

What’s the biggest thing you took from the MadTV experience?
I was only on it for maybe like five, six months and then it was cancelled, and people are always like, ‘I’m so sorry.’ But I’m always like, I’m just glad I was in there for a time. I never looked at it like, ‘This is it, just lay back from now on.’ You never take anything like that for granted. It was an incredible experience but at the same time it felt like a dream – a dream come true – but also just incredibly surreal. You’d be in front of a live audience or it’d come on TV and you’d go, ‘Look at that.’ It was like a fever dream where you’re accepting some reality that’s not reality. Like you’re half-awake and you’re like, ‘I’ve got to clean my dragon cage.’ But then you wake up and you’re like, ‘Wait, I don’t have a dragon cage. Dragons aren’t real!’ I feel like that’s how I’ll be in 50 years, like, ‘I liked that show, but I was never on it!’ And my grandkids will have to show it to me, and I’ll be like, ‘Well, look at that.’

It was great to always be joking around, to say, ‘Hey, that’s funny, you wanna write that with me?’ Some stupid joke you make while eating lunch could be on national television. Even with all the stress on a show like that, that’s the thing that keeps driving you. Your ideas can come to an amazing fruition. That’s what drives all of us, really. What you think is funny, what your friends think is funny, the world might think is funny.

For more info, check out mattbraunger.com. And click the graphic below to buy Matt’s album, Soak Up The Night.