Andy Andrist: Dumb it Down for the Masses

by Dylan P. Gadino

No matter how anti status quo we might think the typical alternative comic is today, the truth is they rarely side against their audience so much that they make them cringe or squirm in their seats. We can’t see Andy Andrist’s audience on Dumb it Down for the Masses at Appleton, Wisconsin’s Skyline Comedy Club. But you get the feeling that, in addition to laughing heartily, they’re doing plenty of cringing and squirming.

Though he spends too much time at the start of his set getting cheap laughs by imitating retarded people or using retarded people as the punch lines of his jokes — frat boy comedy at its best (or worst) — he does largely redeem himself through the rest of the performance.

Andrist pays little attention to pacing or timing. But his sauced-up, stream-of-consciousness style fits well with the myriad of x-rated thoughts running through his twisted head. He attacks guys in the audience who won’t admit to being “sock jackers” and gives props to those who fess up.

“Why do you do it?” he asks and then answers. “Because it’s got a hole in one end and it’s easy clean up. And the rest of these guys are fucking liars because they’re trying to impress a girl they’re trying to finger fuck later. But we don’t have to. We can go peel off a shoe and be into some pretty good pussy. And every time you do that, you lose a little chunk of your soul. But I do it.”

The former writer for Comedy Central’s, The Man Show also has a poignant solution for ridding the country of pedophiles: send them to war. “Hey, Afghanistan,” he says. “You want your kids fucked in the mouth? That’s how we fight. We don’t fight the conventional war. That’s not our style.”

Pointing out the absurdity of Bible literalists, Andrist also presents a new translation of the book of Leviticus — including the phrases, “fondle his balls” and “plants his seed up in your ass” — that will leave you with a gut totally busted.