From the peeps who brought us 2 In 1 Out, starring comedians Ted Alexandro, Jay Larson and Dave Siegel, comes this chilling story about one man’s deadly lies. And Wikipedia. Written by and starring Larson, and co-starring comedian Max Silvestri, Wiki-Wiki Wikipedia will, from here on out, be considered one of the most important allegories of our time.
Listen. It was only out of respect for Ricky Martin’s privacy that we here at Punchline Magazine didn’t report what we always knew– that he is gay. Also, it was that we didn’t really know and we don’t really report on pop stars like Ricky Martin, unless, of course there’s a stand-up comedy angle. Thank you, Ted Alexandro!
Check out one of our favorite comedians reading Martin’s official coming-out statement, which he posted on his site on Monday.
Any well-established stand-up would probably tell you that becoming a cruise ship comedian is not something they’d want for their career. It’s not exactly what you’d consider a prime gig. However, Lewis Black might just change that trend.
The veteran comedian just announced that he’ll be hosting a seven day cruise on Royal Caribbean Cruise Line’s Liberty of the Seas from Nov. 7 -14. Black’s comedian friends John Pinette, Kathleen Madigan, Susie Essman, Dom Irrera, John Bowman, Ted Alexandro and Larry Wilmore are all scheduled to perform; Madigan will also host bingo!
“This show just can’t happen on dry land,” Black says. “A cruise offers the possibility of a week of unlimited fun. And we can all go a little crazy and just walk back to our rooms. It provided me the opportunity to spend time with my good friends, who also happen to be some of the funniest people I know. Don’t whine to me if you miss this once in a lifetime opportunity. A vacation. And constant live entertainment. You can rock climb on this boat, why I don’t know but you can. You can surf on this boat. Don’t ask – it wasn’t my idea. So join us you pricks, who knows, it may even make me smile.”
Tickets are on sale today for Lew’s special fans on the Black Mail list; March 3 is the general on sale date. Check out the cruise’s official site for more info and tickets.
He’s one of the hardest working, most well-respected stand-up comedians in the nation. Recently, however, Ted Alexandro, has been impressing us as a stellar comedic actor in a handful of online short films. And we couldn’t, in good faith, go any longer without sharing these videos with you, our dear readers.
In the first video, Ted Alexandro stars as a comedian who’s sent to teach a struggling cop how to harness the power of over done movie police catchphrases to improve his productivity at work.
Ted finds the surreal in this next film, an episode of the online web series John & Molly Get Along, about the misadventures of a brother and sister, played by comedians John and Molly Knefel. Ted plays an old friend of the siblings’ mother here. Very strange.
This last one is one will probably be appreciated more by comedians than the general public, but with a few nuggets of info, anyone can enjoy it and laugh their ass off. So keep this in mind:
A “bringer” is a stand-up comedy show wherein new comics have to guarantee the club that they bring a certain number of people who buy tickets to their 7-10 minute set. Many clubs will not book you again if you fail to meet your requirement the first time around. This is a rite of passage – a hated one – for all prospective comedians.
Also, a comedian lying about how long they’ve been in the business – usually they’ll claim a shorter time so they seem well advanced for all they’ve accomplished – is a clichéd comedian lie. Towards the end of the film, comedian Eric Lyden does this (and that’s why it’s hilarious).
This year, Punchline Magazine is celebrating its four years online with an incredible show at Comix in New York City on Oct. 13. Lewis Black, Janeane Garofalo, Todd Barry, Christian Finnegan, Ted Alexandro, Pete Dominick and Robert Hawkins will all perform at the show, a one-night only event.
To help celebrate the anniversary, the first 75 people in the showroom will get Punchline Magazine sport bags filled with CDs from Co-sponsor Stand Up! Records, t-shirts from Rooftop Comedy and more. Tickets to this event are only $15 in advance and $20 the day of. Go here to get your tickets before they’re gone.
In this brand-spanking new short film, written by stand-up comedian Dave Siegel, 2 In, 1 Out, Ted Alexandro plays boss to Siegel and comedian Jay Larson. The pair play close office friends who face this dilemma: due to downsizing, corporate says one of the two need to go. The questions, then, are who should go and how to decide. The fun begins. Check it out!
When I was in Aspen a few weeks ago covering the Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival I got to interview a bunch of great comics. So we’ll be rolling out those interviews from time to time. Here’s the first, this one with Ted Alexandro, wherein we talk about pirates, Ted’s dark mind and the presumed raping styles of Kobe Bryant and Patrick Ewing. Enjoy.
Below, is a great example of why Ted Alexandro is one of the finest, and most underrated, comedians in the country. This is a well-written joke with perfect delivery; plus, Ted adds new twists on topics we may have heard before from stand-ups. Simply perfect.
ASPEN, CO – The second annual Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival kicked off last night in strong form, with a show featuring Ted Alexandro, Laurie Kilmartin, Will Durst and Dan Cummins.
Of this group, the younger Spokane, Washington-based Cummins had the most to prove, as he found himself performing in a lineup of incredibly seasoned and well-respected comedians. But for the past few years Cummins has built a strong name for himself in the national comedy scene, buttressed by high profile appearances on Comedy Central’s Live at Gotham and his own half-hour special for the network. Last night, he gave the Wheeler Opera House audience a peak into some of the material we’ll be seeing on his hour-long special, also for Comedy Central.
The biggest draw of Cummins’ comedy is the ease and matter-of-fact tone he employs to drop some of the most absurd shit that even the most jaded comedy snob has never heard, namely the concept of the “tooth gremlin.” You see, in Cummins’ perfect world if a child puts a cavity-torn tooth under their pillow at night, the wee one should get a visit not from the tooth fairy but from the aforementioned gremlin. And the gremlin’s calling card? “He rips out the rest of your teeth and kills your parents,” Cummins explains. Also noteworthy was the Aspen crowd’s relative silence when Cummins exclaimed, “I don’t give a shit about polar bears.” Perfect. I can’t wait to see more out of Cummins this year. Check out a clip from his appearance on Live at Gotham below.
Kilmartin had a masterful set soaked with delightfully dark takes on her son’s existence, telling the crowd upon hitting the stage that she feels a little fat— that it’s been eight months and she still hasn’t lost any of the abortion weight. And that is what makes Kilmartin so damn fun. She’s a 43-year-old mom who knows you can still love your child – her son is actually two years old – and simultaneously say horrible shit about him in the form of well-crafted jokes to make a room full of strangers laugh. “Imagine how much you love your pet,” she says later in her set, explaining to those without kids how powerful a mother’s love can be. “Multiply that by .7 and divide that by four.” Awesome. Check out the clip below (she did this bit last night), filmed at last year’s Punchline Magazine anniversary show at Comix in New York.
When San Francisco-based Durst hit the stage, he proved that he doesn’t shy away from labels. “I’m a political comic,” he said, adding that means sometimes there just isn’t shit to talk about. “It’s hard to mock hope,” he said, referring to our country’s new administration. As you’d expect then, a lot of his set dealt with the former President and his many foibles; the thing is, Durst brings insight and theater to his bashings—something most anti-Bush comedians can’t seem to do. Durst is equal parts wordsmith and comedian and the comedy community has known that for years. Check out an installment of the Rooftop Comedy-produced Burst of Durst, wherein Durst opines for 60 seconds on the news of the day.
Fittingly, Alexandro closed the show and did so with what has become his twisted – yet measured – outlook on life. There’s a lot of comedians out there one would consider edgy for any number of reasons: For example, Jim Norton is edgy because he enjoys getting defecated upon (and talks about it onstage); Doug Stanhope is edgy because he seems to have a complete disregard for the concept of tradition. Those two dudes are clear in their intentions from the minute they step onstage; they’re angry and intense.
Alexandro, however, paces the stage slowly, speaks deliberately and inserts pregnant pauses between thoughts to draw the listener in closer. In short, his tone and presence doesn’t always fit the mold of a comedian that, would, say go topical with a joke about pirates and then turn it into a joke about rape. He explains that he’d be too overzealous to become a modern-day pirate, showing up to the first day of work decked out with eye patch and a sword ready to pillage and rape. Because, really, “permissible rape is one of the reasons you might want to be a pirate,” he explains, adding you’re not allowed to rape people as a mechanic.
At this point a man yells “Vikings” from the audience. “Are we making a list now?” Alexandro says. Another shout from the crowd: “LA Lakers.” In a completely ad-libbed moment, Alexandro responds: “If you’re going to get raped, you could do a lot worse than Kobe Bryant.”
Alexandro rounded out a lot of newer material with some of his hits, namely his hilarious chunk on Jesus, specifically the Abs of a Savior workout and the What Would Jesus Do? blow job bits; the former goes back to his 2004 masterpiece As Much as You Want. Check out the video interview I did with Alexandro from a few months back.
There’s three more shows at the Wheeler tonight for the festival: the Best and the Brightest, Rooftop at Large and After Dark. Check out rooftopcomedy.com for the full lineup.
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Any well-established stand-up would probably tell you that becoming a cruise ship comedian is not something they’d want for their career. It’s not exactly what you’d consider a prime gig. However, Lewis Black might just change that trend.
