Marc Maron is a Jew. But that doesn’t mean he lacks Christmas spirit. He’s got plenty of it; he just shows it a bit differently than your average gentile. In a video shot last year but uploaded only yesterday on FunnyOrDie, Maron gives us his version of the true story of Jesus. His story takes place at the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles.

What the eff is that, you ask? Well, it turns out it’s a group of asphalt pits from which tar has seeped out for thousands of years. But, you see, the pits are usually covered in water and silly-willy animals would stop there for a refreshment and fall the hell in and die and become fossilized over the years. They even found a woman’s skull in there once! Merry Christmas!!