Nick Kroll: Character assassination

by Chase Roper

Nick Kroll is a master at taking a stereotype, exaggerating it to the end of the Earth, and transforming it into characters that dynamically stand on their own as individual voices and points of view. He is an engineer designing ultimate vehicles of comedy. This weekend, Kroll is pooling together his self-created band of comedy misfits to give the world one hour of the best he has to offer. He did not miss the mark.

Kroll is a regular on ever-growing comedy podcast circuit, can be seen in some of the funniest videos Funny or Die has to offer, and costars in the hit FX show The League. His first one hour special Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool airs on Comedy Central Jan. 29 at 10 pm EST.

We caught up with Nick recently while he was away at the Sundance Film Festival to chat about ‘Thank You Very Cool,’ his panache for creating personalities and a bit more. Check it out.

How many of these calls have you done today so far?
You’re the second one. I’m eating a terrible BBQ chicken sandwich at a sports bar in Sundance.

Are you there promoting ‘Thank You Very Cool’ or is there another project in the works?
No, I’m here as arm candy to my girlfriend. I’m just a pretty face here. This is my weekend off from promotion. I get back at it starting tomorrow night when I take the red eye to do the appearance at The Hundreds store in New York, and then Vegas.

That’s right. I just saw on Twitter a few minutes ago that Bobby Bottleservice is going to be hosting a party at the Palm Casino in Vegas. Is that flier for real?
Totally real. Like, it’s FUCKING real. They made that flier. It’s all really happening.

Do you think they’re in on the gag here or is there maybe some hotel exec over there who thought they were getting a legitimate ‘Jersey Shore’ personality?
I think some of them are in on it, but to be honest, I don’t really care – and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Hang on, I’m going to find a place where I can talk a little bit clearer. . .

(a few shuffling sounds later)

Sorry about that. I just got an influx of people who are in movies being loud and I just wanted to walk away from them.

Jokes.com
Nick Kroll – The Texties
comedians.comedycentral.com

Ugh. . . assholes. So you’re hosting a real party at a real Vegas club as Bobby Bottleservice?
I think most of the people know what they’re getting. All you have to do is Google ‘Bobby Bottleservice’ and see the videos and get a taste of what’s going on. What I like is that I am not trying to trick anybody, you know what I mean? That’s not the game plan. But for that night I will be Bobby Bottleservice. It’s a dream come true.

I caught a glimpse of you as Chupacabra backstage at Bumbershoot this past September and it was the first time during that entire festival that I had legitimately felt star struck. You’ve turned these characters into comedy celebrities.
That’s very kind of you to say. The goal is that they all exist in their own realms and that they have their own fan bases and some people like one of them more than the other and I just really enjoy doing all of them. They all bring out different aspects of what I like to do.

Would it be fair to say that you sort of “hide behind” these characters to some extent? Or are they just all for fun?
They’re all super fun and I think represent different aspects of my personality – I feel really cheesy saying it – but I don’t really think about it that way. Fabrice is sort of me filter-less. Bobby is sort of the most masculine and also emotionally tapped in. Chupacabra is sort of the most insane of the crew. I don’t know that they’re really all facets of my personality more than they are just archetypes that I find really funny. Whether it’s the liberal racist, the super honest sort of gay bully, the emotionally honest-sleeved braggardly guido – all these guys are just sort of interesting folks to me. I just find them funny.

Sometimes I hear you do Chupacabra on a podcast and am impressed at how well you speak Spanish but then I’ll listen again and wonder if maybe you just fake Spanish really well. Do you speak Spanish?
I do. I spent time in various Spanish speaking countries over the years and Chupacabra has evolved from where he used to be an archetype stand-up and then all of a sudden I realized he could be a Latin DJ. From living in LA and New York, there are so many of those stations, so it’s great to always be listening to them and learning more about the way they talk and sound, and the characters they’ll do. But yeah, I do speak Spanish, although I’m probably not as fluent anymore as I used to be. I have a great affinity for the Latin culture.

Very interesting, Nick Kroll.
(laughs) I don’t what’s interesting at this point and I don’t how honest or withholding to be for these interviews.
Even though there are all these characters and then my stand-up which is more personal, it’s all really just me saying ‘Here’s what I’ve been doing.’ It’s not me doing a spot-on someone else’s show, I’m not just doing a video for the web from one of my characters’ perspectives. Here’s just all the things that I think are funny.

On the new hour for Comedy Central, I really enjoyed all the segments and cut-aways to commercial where your characters sort of carried on a storyline within the special in between your stand-up.
The goal was to do something that encapsulated all the different things I do and at the same time hopefully be something that would be new for people to see. The pitch we gave Comedy Central was that it would be like a one man Muppet Show. Where you see onstage and behind the camera. I think the idea is that hopefully all of these voices add up to one voice and that you see all these perspectives of one evening and in doing so, you sort of tell the story of one evening from different points of view. Also, to have John Mulaney, Mindy Kaling, Lake Bell and Brandon Johnson all in the videos was just awesome. They’re all people that I like and respect.

Jokes.com
Exclusive – Fabrice Fabrice – Question and Answer
comedians.comedycentral.com

That’s right, there were a lot of surprise guests in there – I remember seeing Chelsea Peretti in the opening as well.
Yeah, she was in there, too. Mulaney and I went to Georgetown together, Chelsea and I came up together doing open mics in New York, Mindy has become a friend over the last few years, and Lake is my girlfriend, and in the green room in the background are all my managers and agents. I just feel like these specials are a time capsule and to be able to have these people with me sort of makes it even more personal and special for me.

Well, job well done.
Thank you.

For more info on Nick, check out nickkroll.com.

Tammy Pescatelli: A ballsy comedy broad

by Emma Kat Richardson

Tammy will be performing at Carolines in NYC from Feb 3. – Feb 6. Tickets here.

Once upon a time, in a comedy club far, far away (or very close by, if you happen to share neighborhood zoning permits with the Comedy Store in LA), Tammy Pescatelli had a dream about escaping from an alligator (more on that later). Being of comedic mind and witty disposition, she immediately latched on to the humorous prospects of an outwardly horrifying circumstance, and went on to perform a bit about being bit up on the stage of the legendary venue.

By her own admission, the routine on subconscious alligator avoidance went over about as well as an actual escape attempt from the jaws of the beast; but while the joke in particular may not have persevered, the comedian who told and dreamed it has gone on to embark upon a brilliant career, set upon a foundational basis of personal, hilarious material and a cunning comic timing most gators on the prowl would be envious of.

Such is the life and livelihood of Pescatelli: a bubbly, friendly, no-nonsense Italian broad with comedy chops to match the bite of the best. With a wide array of career highlights that include a place in the Final Five on Last Comic Standing, performances on the Tonight Show and Comedy Central Presents, this self-described “girl from the neighborhood” has handily proved herself funny as she is fierce.

It’s a mantra which lends itself well to the comedian wunderkind’s latest and greatest project: playing wife and mother to Luca and Little Luca, respectively, both in the realm of reality and in her upcoming TV show, A Stand-Up Mother, premiering on the WE network Jan. 25. Following Tammy and her family’s new life in tiny Meadville, Pennsylvania – one of the “pro-America” parts of America, as Madam Palin would say – the show chronicles the day-to-day life of one of the nation’s most inspiring comic voices.

Checking in with Punchline Magazine for a rap session, Tammy talks tough on transitioning from LA to Smalltown, USA; how growing up with all brothers impacted her comedy; and why she’ll never talk about her dreams onstage again.

Would you say that growing up with all brothers helped prepare you for the “boys club” elements of the comedy world?
Absolutely. My mother’s mother, she passed away when she [my mother] was nine, so she was raised by her father and two brothers – she had two brothers. I have all these male cousins, so I grew up in a very estrogen-deprived existence. [Laughs]. I was as masculine a cheerleader as could be.

What does being a girl “from the neighborhood” really mean?
I like to think I’m a ballsy broad is what that is. I don’t care about being prissy: as you’ll see in the TV show, after the first episode, I never even had a wedding. When I got married, all I really wanted was the Justice of the Peace. I didn’t spend my whole life wanting the dress or the venue; I didn’t care about any of that. I had never even been to a baby shower until I was seven months pregnant and it was my own.

My entire adult life, I have been on the road as a comic. A lot of things that are really important to people around the country aren’t important to me. I had a friend recently who just called me and said, ‘I got the day off of work for my birthday.’ And I’m like, ‘Why?’ She says, ‘It’s my birthday and I’ve got to have a big party!’ But, ‘…you’re 38 years old.’ There were several times I was on the road and it was my birthday, and it took forever before I remembered what the date was. A comic’s life is completely different from a regular citizen’s life.

To what degree is that brassy Italian persona – your girl from the neighborhood – hyperbole? Is it at all?
Well, I think I’m always Tammy to the 10th power onstage. When I first started, that’s what I talked about all the time: being Italian. You just talk about what you know. And people would give me a hard time, being all like, ‘Ugh, what’s all this stuff about being Italian?’ But I would actually take that as a compliment, because I was a woman talking. I didn’t talk about my period or having anal sex with somebody. So I took it as a compliment. I just wanted to write jokes and be a comic, not a chick, so what’s really weird now is that I’m on an all women’s network. So, it’s always me onstage, it’s just me to the 10th power.

Was transitioning, then, very difficult? Do they conduct business at WE differently than you’re accustomed to?
It’s business. Business! I dunno, I never had a real job. What I realized, having a television show on a network, is that I don’t talk to people – I talk at people. I’m so used to talking at people that I have no social skills. I’m so totally retarded that I never would have made it in the real world.

People have structures of power. It’s really hard for a comic to adapt to that. ‘No you can’t.’ ‘Oh yes I can!’ When they tell you not to do something, it’s the first thing you want to do, right?

Would you say that’s the foundational personality trait for most comedians: You can’t do that/Yes I can?
Yes, I do. I think it’s a fundamental need that we have to prove ourselves. I think that’s why every comic – I don’t care who you are – will all agree that you’re always playing to that one person in the room who isn’t paying attention. It doesn’t matter if 499 people think you’re the funniest thing to hit the stage. If that one person isn’t paying attention to you, you’re trying to get them to laugh.

Was it your idea to have a reality show?
I’m a co-creator. With Carla Kaufman, we created it. We have parallel lives: she also got married, had a baby, and left Hollywood. We just figured that a lot of women aren’t giving up their careers anymore. There was this whole situation where I got pregnant, and people had never seen a pregnant woman onstage. I’m still a comic, I’m still going to be funny.

So we shopped it around, and WE responded. There was a little bit of a bidding war, and we decided to go with WE, because WE gave us a little bit more autonomy.

How does the concept of a simple small town like Meadville manage to coexist side-by-side with the natural press and glitz that come with filming and airing a TV show?
They just don’t get it. They just couldn’t comprehend what was happening. They’ve never had anything like that here – the closest they’ve had before was To Catch a Predator. Hopefully it’ll all play out. We’ll see if I’m still allowed to live here after the episodes air.

It was great for the economy. I don’t know how I tricked Hollywood into coming to Meadville, Pennsylvania. The need for a film crew helped spark the presence of the economy.

As an individual, do you feel you connect with the Meadville climate more than you do LA?
I think I found my way in Hollywood. I found my friends, I found my comedy clubs, but Hollywood represented for me a different life. I was single, I didn’t have a kid, but I grew up in a small neighborhood – a suburb of Cleveland. I grew up in a different life, so I can understand this mentality. I worked my whole life to get out of a town like this; who the hell knew I’d come back? [Laughs]. I didn’t have the wherewithal to save enough money for therapy to relocate in Hollywood.

What sort of impression do you want the watchers of A Stand-Up Mother to have of you?
That I put my son first. That’s it, that’s it, you know? Comedy used to be my life, but then came my husband, my son, my family. I’m not doing anything special that other people aren’t doing, being mothers and wives and everything else. I just have a forum to talk about it now. My jokes are better because my life has expanded. Being onstage is the only time I’m alone. No one’s going to take that from me, no.

How old is your son, by the way?
He’ll be three next month. You know what’s so funny? I’d kept him so private for so long. Wouldn’t put up pictures of him on my Facebook. And now we’ve had the camera [pointed at him], and that’s the whole thing: because I’m afraid to expose him, but, on the other hand, he’s like Little Ricky on I Love Lucy. He just comes in, he does a few minutes, and he’s out of the show. The show isn’t about him.

Is his name really Little Luca?
No, he’s Luca. [Laughs]. He’s Little Luca because my husband’s name is Luca. He’s little compared to my husband, who’s big, and his name is Luca James, so we call him LLCoolJ.

Is he really aware of what you do for a living?
He does I do stand-up. I literally was on the stage on Long Island, the night before I gave birth to him, and I thought I had a really bad backache when it turned out I was in labor. Onstage, he would jump every time there was applause. He’d just go crazy, and he just loves it. He tells jokes now. I have a hard enough time writing my jokes without giving them away to my kid.

How does your mother-in-law respond to the material that you do about her?
I don’t do too much about her. I just do one really poignant joke, and I think that gets the point across. She just lives a different life. She’s happy that her son found a nice Italian girl, but she doesn’t understand the comedy. When I go on the road – say I’m going out to San Francisco or Lexington, Kentucky – she’ll be like, ‘Enjoy your vacation!’ I’m a traveling comedian: my vacation is home.

This is sort of your trademark: when people ask you where you get your jokes, you say, “I wake up!” Have you ever had a truly hilarious dream? Ever gotten material from being asleep?
I actually did one time. I thought, boy this is the funniest joke ever! I wrote it all down, and I went on at the Comedy Store in LA, and I jumped onstage and it was the dumbest thing ever. It seemed like I’d smoked a vial of crack before getting onstage. It was the dumbest joke ever. [Laughs]. It seemed really funny in my dream.

What was the dream about?
It was about how you would escape an alligator. It was so stupid, oh man. Alligators scare the hell out of me.

Jokes.com
Tammy Pescatelli – Trampoline Accident
comedians.comedycentral.com

Is that the one fearful point in you that’s so prickly you don’t feel like you could find the comedy in it?
You know, I don’t think anything is off-limits with comedy. Incidents in time can be found funny, and it depends on how peripheral it is to you. I tried to leave my son out of my act originally when he was first born, but now I’m starting to write jokes more and more. But I don’t want to write so many jokes that he’s embarrassed to go to kindergarten.

You have a lot of really impressive resume highlights and accolades. Are there any that you felt like you poured the most blood, sweat, and tears into accomplishing?
I think one of the best things was my very first Tonight Show, because it was my first appearance on television. It was the most nerve-wracking thing you could imagine, and for me, it was the Tonight Show. But it turned out to be one of the best things.

For more info on Tammy, check out pescatelli.com and her show’s official site at WEtv.

Auggie Smith: Smell The Thunder

by John Delery

Luckily, the armistice in the war of words these days muzzles our combative Congress, not comedians. Even luckier for us humor-hungry civilians, our irascible representatives have yet to enact fun-control laws, thereby not depriving the rabble of Auggie Smith and other amusing agitators like him.

From his post onstage, Smith, dedicated protector of our unalienable rights to laughs, liberty and the pursuit of happiness every !@%&@ second of our !@%&@ lives, freely unloads on the charlatans and idiots who’ve made the mistake of ending up in his comic crosshairs (sorry, Sarah Palin, we mean comic surveyor symbols).

Unlike the working dead — spiritless adults who every weekday robotically wake up, get up and show up at monotonous jobs — Smith sounds like he has tons o’ fun at work. The point of becoming a comedian, agreed? You sense it in his Lewis Black lite attitude (inflamed but not spontaneously combustible) and hear it in his voice (peeved but not postal) on Smell the Thunder, his equally derisive, incisive and clever new CD from Rooftop Comedy Productions.

After all, he receives cash to bash The Establishment and hold up a funhouse mirror to, among others, sanctimonious What-Would-Jesus-Do-gooders who on the way to the office morph into anti-Christians by flipping out on the highway and flipping off fellow motorists after literally being driven crazy in traffic.

More mocker than muckraker, Smith demonstrates that political and social commentators need not use fangs to make biting remarks about this wide, wide, no, make that weird, weird world. Judging from this release, a devilishly wicked comic voice can be a blunt weapon, even in the hands of someone as harmless-looking as Smith. On arguably the best of the set, “Liberal,” Smith, without preaching to either congregation, could convert Kennedy Liberals into (gasp!) Kennedy Konservatives.

To buy yourself a copy of Smell The Thunder, just click the image below.

Brian Scott McFadden: What Women Want

by Dylan P. Gadino

A regular, and favorite of the New York City comedy circuit, comedian and actor Brian Scott McFadden has already proven himself a versatile comedic performer onstage and on television, with appearances on Letterman and Ferguson. He’s even an accomplished stage actor – having played Hamlet in New York – and has also built a reputation as a talented voice actor for movies and commercials.

And as you’d expect, McFadden employs his many talents (Enjoy accents? There’s a lot!) to his debut album What Women Want, named after his wide-appealing routine, wherein he, with an addictive cadence and theatrical (yet understated) delivery, establishes the many contradictions that have come to define what women allegedly want in a romantic partner. It’s a theme that’s been beaten to death since the birth of stand-up, right? Right. But McFadden gives new and improved legs to the tired horse of a joke during his five-minute version, which includes this gem: “Women want a realist who’s romantic; a guy who’s serious but playful—who’s confident but humble and horny but faithful.”

While working mostly clean through the 46-minute set, McFadden touches on his terrible Spanish despite four years of class; El gato tiene hambre (“the cat is hungry”) is the only thing he remembers. He also offers up some suggestions for new greeting cards that would better express what’s on the minds of dysfunctional families, reflects on the trials of going to Catholic school and even chats about the craft of stand-up comedy itself.

Though McFadden, early in his set, too often leans on the eccentricites of his hometown to produce laughs – the album was recorded at New York’s Comic Strip Live – and thus possibly alienating a national audience listening at home, most of his material is wholly relatable and easily digested; no absurdism here, folks. To be clear, What Women Want is an album for the masses— an album mainstream audiences will easily embrace and one that open-minded comedy nerds just might dig as well.

To snag yourself a copy of What Women Want, just click the image below.

Ass-kickin’ Amy Schumer is on the rise

by Emma Kat Richardson

At this stage in her career, it’s not at all difficult for any outlying individuals to reach this conclusion: Amy Schumer – comedian, actress, all-around awesome babe to the nth power – is poised to steal the “hardest working legs in showbiz” moniker from under the nose of an
unsuspecting Tina Turner.

Hyperbole, you say? Not in the least. Let’s assess. The “hardest working” portion is obvious. Since her star-making debut on Last Comic Standing, Schumer has been consistently fanning the flames of her funniness with guest appearances on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central Presents, and The Ellen DeGeneres Show. (Lady Ellen herself was quoted as saying, “Amy is one of my favorites, I expect to see big things from this girl.”) Every week, she can be seen on Fuse co-hosting A Different Spin with Mark Hoppus, and has, in the form of guest roles, brought considerable comic spice to the already considerably spicy comic behemoth NBC’s 30 Rock as well as ABC’s Cupid; and you’ll be able to spy her on the upcoming season of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

And for the legs? Well, you’ll have to check out the March issue of Cosmopolitan, where we meet our hero rocking the mic at NYC’s ultra-famous Comedy Cellar, wearing nothing but a sly smirk. (And perhaps not even that. The subject may not be under wraps, but the pics currently are.) Thankfully, Amy had time to take momentary pause from ruling the comedy-osphere (she’s also about to record an album for Comedy Central Records in Denver Jan. 20-22) to shoot the shit with Punchline Magazine about how she draws personal strength from the spirit of the stage, her criminal record, and how one can be a little bit comedy and a little bit rock ‘n’ roll. Proud Mary, meet Ass-kicking Amy.

If you could give your comic persona a name, what would it be? And don’t say “Amy.”
My comic persona. Um… god, “slutty” came to mind right away. That sounds like it’s been done, but it’s just true. I guess slutty, or honest.

I read online that when you were a kid, you would create imaginary characters for yourself. Have any of these personalities worked their way into your comedy?
They are now. Like, not those actual ones: [when I was a kid], I’d be like, “Everyone in the living room! Come! I have a story.” Then I’d get up and start telling a story about these two rabbits that lived together…or some other terrible story, usually about rabbits or dinosaurs. My dad videotaped everything, so there are hours of footage of me making my parents listen to stories about fictitious animals coming to life. Sometimes I would try to be like, “This one’s true!” And they’d be like, okay, and then I’d be like, “These two rabbits…” and they’d be like, oh, god.

Now, my stand-up has been getting more and more like, if I watched myself on a video that was silent, it looks like I’ve been getting more and more vaudeville. I’ve been less and less worried about how I look; instead, I’m more worried about communicating what I’m trying to say.

Jokes.com
Amy Schumer – Exclusive – HPV
comedians.comedycentral.com

Where do you think that stems from?
Maybe me connecting more with the stuff I liked doing when I was a kid, and making my siblings laugh. I’m just trying to communicate to the audience what I’m trying to say, so I’m not that worried about the presentation of it, physically, if that makes sense.

You studied theater in college and pursued acting professionally before you turned to comedy. That struck me as interesting, because that sequence is usually executed in the opposite. What initially drew you to stand-up?
I was a funny kid. It’s funny, because now, when I go to headline, I think back to how I used to make my parents and my friends and my siblings sit there and listen to me tell stories and try to make them laugh. It’s ridiculously clear – for as long as I can remember, I wanted this specific type of performing. After college, I found that you don’t get to perform as often as you do in college. I found a group of people backstage, or god knows where – an improv group, of which the leader was like this total schizophrenic – and one of the girls in my improv troupe was a comic. She did stand-up. She was like 45 years old at the time, and I went and saw her. I was like, oh, this is really appealing. I had seen a lot of stand-up before, and I’d never really thought about the possibility of doing it, but then when I saw this girl from my improv troupe doing it, and getting some success, I was like, I can do this. I tried it within a week or two, and I liked it right away.

But I want you to know that that question is hard for me to hear, because I still totally act. I have a theater company called The Collective, and we introduce plays and mostly original works. I’m not trying to brag, but I want you to know that I’m going to be on Curb Your Enthusiasm this season, and 30 Rock. I’m filming a movie with Parker Posey: the role is kind of funny, but it’s also kind of serious. I think that, if I didn’t have dramatic work in my life, I would not enjoy stand-up as much. Or vice-versa. The whole time when I was beginning stand-up, I was just starting out, and I was in the two-year Meisner program with William Esper, I learned that they totally leant themselves to each other. I think I’m just drawn to manic depression.

I’ve noticed that your comic cadence is very conversational. Was it a conscious choice to style things this way, or has this always come naturally to you?
Yeah, that totally comes naturally to me. I’ve never made any conscious decisions about the direction I want my act to go. I’ve talked to other comedians like that, and maybe it’s just because I’m lazy. I might have thought about my set-up and punchline set up a little bit, but from the second I did my first stand-up bit, it was very conversational, and I hope it’s still that way. If I stop feeling conversational and I hear myself sounding a little too… performer-y, then I’m unhappy and I have to remind myself, you know, to stay in my body and not go on autopilot, so I can remember why I wrote this, and remember the truth of this stuff.

Jokes.com
Amy Schumer – Amy Jewmer
comedians.comedycentral.com

How did you react when you’d heard Ellen DeGeneres called you one of her favorites in the comedy game?
I almost started crying. We’re always looking for validation, you know? Even when I was on Last Comic, I wouldn’t call myself a comedian. I don’t know what defines it for other people – if they’ll start calling themselves a comedian after their first open mic – but for me it wasn’t until I was able to make a living off of it, because it just didn’t feel honest, for me. Even during Last Comic, I was still sorting mail, finishing up waiting tables and stuff, so I didn’t really feel like a comedian yet. That sort of happened during that process. So to have someone I thought of as such a great comedian sort of endorse me and say, “I want you to be on my show, and I want to tell people about you,” I was like, “I’m a comedian!” It’s one of those things where you’re like, I should be doing this. I’m not wasting my time. I shouldn’t be just trying to trap someone into marriage and punch out some babies.

But again, it wasn’t like I was such a great comedian, at that point. I know that now I’m not just getting away with headlining. I am putting on a show I’m really proud of. I can go out after the show with my head held high, not being like sorry, I hope no one asked for their money back. Right after Last Comic, while I was headlining, because, you know, they have you headline right away, I was just like, faking my way through that shit. And now I feel like a comic. I think every comedian is still always looking for that validation.

I think it’s interesting that you co-host a show with Mark Hoppus, since some would say musicians are just frustrated comedians and vice-versa.
Yeah, my brother is a jazz musician, so for sure. You’ve interviewed musicians, right?

Yeah, a couple.
So yeah, totally. It’s like, if I’m talking to the black guy from the Comedy Cellar, it’s like a black and white thing. I remember I was standing in the back of The Punchline in Atlanta after the show, and I was smoking pot with one of the guys who was security. Me and this black dude, we’re talking and we’re like, ‘Oh, you like The Wire, too?!’ We loved all the same shows and were just connecting. We loved all the same stuff and the same moments on all these shows, and then he was like, ‘Do you know that show…’ and he named some BET show, and I was like, ‘…no. What about Arrested Development?’ And he was like, ‘…no.’ We could feel the moment that we lost each other.

So I feel like, with my brother being a musician and having interviewed musicians on the show with Mark, we connect so much on conversation together, but then we hit that roadblock of such fundamental differences. Musicians: they’re a lot that envy us, for what we get to do, but I don’t know any comedian who wouldn’t think it was pretty sweet to get to do their greatest hits, night after night. We have to keep up the illusion like it’s the first time we’re saying anything.

Let’s talk about Cosmo a little bit. Whose idea was it to pose nude: yours or theirs?
I’d written this article about a cowboy in the big city. It was inspired by me meeting this guy from Montana, who I met while I was there. I fell in love with him, and then he came out to New York, and seeing him out of his environment was really awful to me. I noticed that he was like really racist, and he was pointing at homeless people and men holding hands. I slept with the guy anyway because he had flown all the way here from Montana and I was 18 and thought I had to. Now I know that it’s never too late to get out of effing someone. Unless it’s like, a crime.

The concept was really simple, but then this article is about how I gained confidence as a comedian, and also how I gained confidence with men. It’s just from making so many mistakes, that ultimately, when you’re bombing, you’re trying to get to the next joke, and maybe this one will go better – it’s the same way if you meet somebody. It’s about getting confidence from being completely vulnerable and realizing that you like yourself.

So I was like, “Why don’t we do [the shoot] at the Comedy Cellar?” The editor-in-chief of Cosmo is like the coolest chick ever; she suggested the Cellar, and I was like, totally. We were talking about what the article was about, and I was like, “the fact that I’m completely comfortable with myself.” I still have moments of feeling vulnerable and ugly and sad, so what better way to convey that than to be like, well, how about being naked onstage? I’m about to turn 30, and I think my stock about to plummet.

I wonder if I’ll regret it. There are definitely things I’ve done that I feel icky about, but, I don’t know. I really like this idea; I’ve seen some of the pictures, and I feel pretty good about them.

Jokes.com
Amy Schumer – Blackout Drunk
comedians.comedycentral.com

I was really surprised to read that your uncle is Chuck Schumer, the senior senator from New York. Being a CNN and MSNBC junkie, his is a name I was immediately familiar with.
Where does it say that he’s my uncle? Does it say that on Wikipedia?

Quite a few places, actually.
He’s my dad’s cousin. I definitely grew up knowing him – not knowing that it mattered that he was in politics, and not really dealing with it at all. The first time it came up was when my sister and I were arrested for shoplifting. We were arrested for grand larceny, and [the cops] were like, ‘You’re lucky you have this last name.’ And they pleaded it down, to like disturbing the peace or something. I really thought that shit was off the record, until I was on Last Comic and they asked me if I had an arrests, and I was like, “Eh, not really.” They have real lawyers – it’s like General Electric – and they knew everything I’d stolen.

Other than that, I’ve run into him a couple of times at events around New York, and he’s super nice. I’m really proud of that guy. I’m happy to be related to him at all. I don’t talk about politics onstage, but I’m as up on that stuff as I can be, from reading a newspaper a day, and watching a good amount of CNN and MSNBC myself (and avoiding Fox News, except when I’m on Redeye, of course). I’m really proud, and he’s never made a move where I’ve [disapproved]. The only criticism I’ve ever heard about him would be along the lines of, ‘That guy loooves the camera.’ Well fuckin’ yeah, because politics is like any other art: you’ve got to keep yourself hot. Keep yourself relevant, or people will forget about you.

Can you help a curious shiksa out: why are all the best comedians always Jewish?
[Laughs]. Honestly, I don’t believe the best comedians are always Jewish. Do you mean like female comics?

It just seems like, with the exception of Richard Pryor and George Carlin, there’s always been a Jewish dominance in comedy.
Why is that? I’ve thought about that, too. The other night at the Cellar, oh my god, it was all Jews. Why is it? I dunno. I guess it’s the sense of self-importance and entitlement and being unapologetic… I dunno. What is it about the Jews?

Is it something about the ethnic identity that lends itself to so much hilarity?
That’s a good question. I don’t know. Judaism, for me, is just another area where I didn’t feel accepted or like I belonged. I grew up on Long Island, but I grew up in the Irish Catholic mecca of Long Island. I’ve done some material on being Jewish onstage, and I talk about how the kids used to call me “Amy Jewmer.” And I really did: even with the parents of my friends, there was a ton of anti-Semitism going on, openly and in front of me. When it went to college, it was the first time I wasn’t apologizing for being Jewish, but there’s definitely some residual shame that I grew up with because of it.

It’s not fair, because then you find out that Long Island is like, fucking, full of Jews. You know in the movie The Land Before Time, when they finally get to that place where there’s all those leaves?

The Great Valley?
You suddenly find out that all of those leaves were just right on top of you, the whole time, but nobody ever told you about it. You thought that you were the only brontosaurus left. Now, if you go to the Museum of Natural History, you find out that there wasn’t even ever a brontosaurus! It’s like, oh, yeah, that was a mistake. It wasn’t real. Did you see that?

Yeah! They found two skeletons of two different dinosaurs together, and made them into one creature.
Isn’t that crazy? I did a book report on that. But anyway, I think for me definitely, I’m pretty good with the crowd and I can handle hecklers, so I think that comes from me having to be defensive.

You’re recording an album in Denver this weekend. In addition to the release of that, what’s up next for your comedy career?
I want to keep being on the road, like I have been. I have a bunch of headlining weekends lined up this year. I’m doing that international magazine, so I should get a bunch of colleges from that. I’m working toward being the best comedian I can be. I have no intention of stopping. I feel like I owe it to myself, without trying to sound too self-important. I’m almost 30; maybe I’ll wake up and want a kid one of these days, but for now I’m going to work my ass off and do as good at this as I possibly can. Everything I do is me going toward that; is working toward just being the best comedian I can be.

Maybe I’ll change, but I don’t think so. After I did my half-hour [special], I had to wonder, because there are a lot of people who do a half-hour special and then you never hear their names again, and I wondered if it would be like that for me. There was a little bit of a loss for material, and it was like, “What if that’s it? What if I’ll never write a joke again?” But since then, I’ve written 45 minutes – no joke – and I never thought that I’d be able to say that.

That’s 45 minutes that I’ve never done on television, that I’m really proud of and feels really good right now; but in two weeks I might like, ugh, I’ve got nothing. There are such highs and lows, but working my ass off in stand-up, I want to do an hour special. I’m filming a movie, and I want to get more acting work, so that’s really important to me. I’m just working hard, and getting funnier. And not becoming an asshole.

Jokes.com
Amy Schumer – Baby Safety
comedians.comedycentral.com

Anything else you’d like to add?
Uh, yeah. ….fuck. Fuck people who leave cruel anonymous comments, especially to female comics. It keeps funny, talented women from wanting… it makes them question whether or not they should be doing this, because of anonymous comments from stupid, afraid people.

And I’m not saying I’m above it. I’m really good at giving advice to my friends who are female comics, like, “Ignore it! It’s some 13 year old in their basement!” But I still look at it, and I… [coughs]. It’s been a couple years for me – not since Last Comic – and I had no idea how big that was. Those comments really make you question yourself, like, “Maybe I am ugly. Maybe I am fat.” And that’s also kind of why I wanted to do that Cosmo article. I’m not for everyone, other female comics aren’t for everyone, but why be angry about it? It’s just fucked up. It made me stronger, but it holds women back for sure.

For more info on Amy, check out amyschumer.com.

Bonus Words!
Amy Schumer officially endorses these lady comics: Jackie Monahan, Chelsea Peretti, Nikki Glaser, Natasha Leggero, Jessi Klein, Jessica Kirson, Marina Franklin, Rachel Feinstein, Mara Herron, Andrea Rosen, Erin Foley, Bonnie McFarlane and Morgan Murphy.

Bonus Exclusive Photos!
These are from Amy’s forthcoming album for Comedy Central Records, titled Cutting.

Special report: Comedy in South Africa

by Punchline Magazine

By Danny Lobell

Nostradamus predicted that when the world comes to an end in 2012, only those living in the land of the elephant will survive. While he might have been talking about India, there’s also a good chance he meant Africa. If he was right, the comedy scene there may be all that’s left to continue on the legacy of the great art of stand-up. As I learned on my trip out there, that may be not such a bad thing.

My introduction to South African comedy came from a joke done by a comic opening for me the first night at Parker’s Comedy Club. His name is Ronnie Modimola. He is a black South African comic whose act borders on alternative, with an avant guard-esque delivery. One of his jokes goes like this: “Twenty-five years ago I could not have preformed at a place like this, you know why, don’t you?” The crowd gets uncomfortably quiet. “Because I was five at the time!” The crowd erupts with laughter.

Johannesburg has so much crime that everyone’s sensitivities are heightened. Race is perhaps more touchy there than it is in the United States. AIDS jokes are played out, and people are more private. If you ask someone what he does for a living, they might not tell you. “I don’t want people knowing if I have money or not,” some will say. “I don’t want to get mugged based on my income after the show.”

As much crime as there is, people go on living, following some basic rules that to minimize risk, like keeping an electric gate and security cameras on your property or keeping your windows a crack open when you drive; it makes it harder for them to be smashed in at a stop light.

You always need to keep your wits about you, take note of who is in front and behind you. Don’t wear a watch in public. Don’t carry a lot of cash; and when you do keep some separate from the rest. While driving at night, if there’s no traffic coming, drive through the red light rather than stop and risk being carjacked. Keep some cash in the car to bribe cops. Don’t walk around town without purpose. If you seem lost, you’re a target. Be careful at ATMs. Have a friend stand behind you as a lookout. If you do get mugged, don’t make eye contact with the mugger and you may walk away alive.

With that all said, Joberg is an awesome place and there are a handful of people who wouldn’t live anywhere else if you paid them.

As the years pass and apartheid fades away into another chapter of history’s fuck ups, a new generation of black and “colored” African comics are born. The term “colored” in South Africa is not racist, by the way. It refers to a race of mixed race people. Colored comics have their own culture and slang and thus their own perspective they bring to the stage. They refer to themselves as colored and are proud of their unique heritage.

There are comics from Zimbabwe. Some are Zulu and others are African, descended from the Dutch settlers and the Boors. A South African comedy show includes a good amount of diversity without even mixing in the Brits and Yanks like myself.

But what really impressed me was the camaraderie amongst comedians both young and old. Support from industry to headline acts is something we don’t have anymore in the NYC scene. There’s no longer a love for the art and respect for the sacred fraternity that is comedy. The closest things other big cities I have played like LA and London have to offer are cliques. There are so many cliques and divisions— alt, edge, mainstream, older comics, younger comics, TV comics, UCB guys and so on and so on.

And with all this, the underlying factor in which we’re all connected in a very basic way seems to have been forgotten. One would be hard pressed to find a UCB NYU grad comic shooting the shit with a guy who plays Jersey bars and pizza shops. Yet, if either of those guys traveled to Paris as I have done and introduced themselves to a local comic there they would be met with open arms and warmth that even transcends French culture. Why? Because they’re comics and they’re fucked up in the same wonderful way as our buddy on the Chan de Lise.

I’ve always equated comedians to the X-men. Each is different and have their own powers, but work towards a common goal: to make a room of strangers laugh. Some have other goals, such as raising social awareness, but the connecting factor is that it’s all being done through laughter.

————-

Joe Parker is one of the few comedians that has been a career comedian since the 1970’s in South Africa. He withstood the challenge of exercising freedom of speech during an era where apartheid ruled the land and censorship was everywhere. Today, he owns and runs the only full time comedy club in South Africa, aptly titled “Parker’s Comedy and Jive.” It was there that I spent my first three weeks in the country headlining shows and getting to meet the local Joberg comics.

Much like the role Rodney Dangerfield played in the club named after him, Joe Parker often hosts the shows. From what I saw, you couldn’t ask for a more supportive club owner to new comics. Joe greets everyone with a smile and doesn’t seem to even understand the concept of exploiting new talent that come into his club. He puts an “open spot” on every show between the feature and the headliner. This spot is reserved for young comics to give the Parkers stage a try. How many people do they need to bring for this amazing opportunity to play to a packed weekend room? Zero! How much do they need to pay? Nothing. How many flyers must they hand out? None.

This is pure nurturing of new and aspiring talent. Joe goes up and tells the crowd, “I started doing comedy in 1977 and here’s a joke from when I started” (he adds in an easy not so great joke and the crowd responds to it accordingly with snickers and groans). Joe then explains that everyone starts somewhere and the crowd is in for a treat because they’re going to see someone start tonight. He asks to please be very supportive and don’t give him a hard time because “if you do I will come out here after him and rip you a new one and it will be very embarrassing for you.”

Then he goes, “Now please give a warm Parkers welcome to….” The new comic goes up and does his thing. Joe stands at the bar, watching and chuckling from time to time. If the comic is good, Joe will help him move up through the ranks of his club and eventually start giving him paid work.

One night an improv troup was booked and one didn’t show. After the other troup members reminded Joe of the games they would be doing, within a few minutes he was out there rockin it with the troupe on stage. I was very impressed, but that was just the beginning of my comedy journey through South Africa.

———–

Dave Levinson lived in Cape Town. He had been pursuing a career as a stand-up for the past few years but wasn’t achieving the professional success he had been hoping for. One day he packed his baby and his lady in the car and decided to make the move to Joberg. Things changed quickly.

He started getting better bookings and landed a TV writing job for South Africa’s first late night interview talk show. Their version of “The Tonight Show” is called “Tonight with Trevor Noah.” Trevor is one of South Africa’s quickest rising stars and his comedy act landed him a series of jobs on radio and children’s television before he finally hit the big time with his own talk show.

One interesting thing that led to Noah’s rise to fame was a bit he did on stage. It’s a common premise– poor cell phone service. Trevor did a bit on how bad the phone service in South Africa was and singled out one company, Cell C. Some execs from Cell C saw his act. Realizing that Trevor’s popularity was growing, there was the potential that this bit would become a PR nightmare.

To avoid that, they hired Trevor as the face of their new ad campaign focusing on how they would be changing their ways. What this amounted to was Trevor’s face on billboards, TV, and online. Wherever you are in South Africa you can’t go long without seeing Trevor’s face. This is a sure sign that comedy is working its way into South Africa’s mainstream. The influence that comics have there and potential to change things through social commentary is tremendous.

There are other signs—like the amazing underground scenes booming in Joberg and Cape Town. Comedy rooms are popping up in restaurants, bars and nightclubs. The best of the comedy rooms in Johannesburg happens on Sunday nights at a place called “Cool Runnings.” Each week, crowds pile into the basement to watch comics develop their material. It had a feel somehow reminiscent of playing a room like the Comedy Cellar in the West Village of New York.

It’s a bohemian crowd of young, pot-smoking artsy kids. The shows are fantastic. I had the pleasure of playing one and got a chance to sit down with the man behind the room, John Vlismas. He was incredibly sharp-witted, smart, and super funny on stage. Mr. John told me a story about how Chris Rock popped in and did a set when he was in town. He almost threw ice at Rock when he burned the light by forty minutes (throwing ice there when people really burn the light is the room’s tradition). But Chris’s bodyguard caught John, grabbed his ice-filled hand, and made him drop it. He laughed because he didn’t understand the old no throwing ice at Chris Rock rule at the time. Looking back, he said he’s very glad it didn’t happen.

———–

Next stop for me was Cape Town. I landed a few gigs there and was eager to check out their scene. It was almost as if Cape Town was LA and Joberg was NY, so it was a refreshing change of scenery.

The good people that run the Cape Town Comedy Festival, creator Sam Hendrikse and project manager Lauren McGregor, are responsible for bringing Chris Rock to South Africa to do shows. They really have great intentions for developing the local talent out there and putting South Africa on the comedy map in a big way. They were passionate about what they do and are working hard at making all the shows a great success.

Rock filmed a piece for his “Kill the Messenger” HBO special out there. The festival is now in its 14th year. Each year the festival celebrates comedy in South Africa by having some big shows around Cape Town featuring local and international acts. You might know some acts from this past fest: Ian Bagg, Orny Adams and the man I just introduced you to, Trevor Noah. For more on the festival check out their website comedyfestival.co.za.

I was asked to headline a show at a place called Zula bar. The show was the festival’s kick off for the local talent competition. This is where the local unknown comics from Cape Town get a chance to compete and have nice slot in the festival each year. The show was packed and the crowds were loving the comedy like it was free heroin and they were junkies. I watched the local acts and was amazed by the level and diversity of the talent I saw there. One guy that really impressed me was a scrawny little dude from Zimbabwe; he was missing a front tooth from. His name is Siyabulela Seya. And as it turned out, he actually
wound up winning the contest.

I got to work with so many interesting acts when I was there. But perhaps the one that left the biggest impression on me was an 81-year-old man by the name of Brian Alexander. He went by the name, “The Wandering Hobo.” The Wandering Hobo would come in to the room while the MC was on stage, coughing and wheezing and smelling terrible. You could smell him from the other side of the room when he entered. He would start stealing drinks off people’s tables and the MC who was in on it would stop his act and address what was going on by acting like there was a security breach.

Somehow, a homeless man got into the club and he asked to have him removed. Then Brian from off stage would say he would leave if could go up and tell a joke. The MC would pose it to the crowd, saying, “What do think? Should we let him?” The crowd that wanted a train wreck would go nuts and say yes and on would go Brian. He would proceed to crush on stage. The crowd, knowing they’ve been fooled, would go crazy with laughter and applause.

If there were a South African Andy Kaufman award this guy would have taken it home in a second. After the show he and I chatted. I learned that he had been doing this act for over 30 years and in that time he never washed that outfit so that it would smell authentically awful. Talk about commitment to the bit.

He told me that he had done shows where he would set it up with a tour bus that he would be lying on a park bench covered in news papers and the bus would pull up and offer him a ride. The people would be annoyed at first with the driver until he’d hijack the bus speaker system and do his homeless act and kill.

He would do cruise ships where he would sleep on the life boat on board until he would be discovered by someone on the ship mid-cruise. He’d then surprise everyone with his act. He was a true performance artist and funny as hell. I was sad to learn that after I left he died, but I hope his legend will live on in some part with this article. I was amazed that at 81 he was still doing it with such conviction and dedication and killing it. I also learned later that in real life he was actually a very wealthy man. What an amazing guy.

————-

Mel Miller, another one of South Africa’s old timers, went to jail for doing his act during Apartheid for speaking out against it. You could say he’s South Africa’s Lenny Bruce.

During Apartheid the country was so insulated that you couldn’t get tapes from the United States. Mel would smuggle tapes of Carlin, Mason and Pryor into South Africa and study them. He would pass them around to all his comedian contemporaries to hear what was out there. It was their only exposure to comedy in the outside world. Despite being an older man, he was on the scene working out new bits and killing on stage. I went to his house and interviewed him about his life and career (also available on the YouTube page I created).

There were so many great acts out there and a magically supportive awesome comedy scene. I talked to sketch groups, improvisers and a guy named Bevan Cullinan who does an awesome character called Gary the Tooth Fairy that writes really truly funny ads.

Bevin started as a stand-up there and became an award-winning commercial writer and director. When I asked him why he chooses to stay working in SA rather than making the move to the US or UK to do comedy commercials (with his portfolio and his accolades it shouldn’t be too tough for him) he responded, “I find that they are a lot looser here in terms of what you can get away with (with regards to comedy) where as working somewhere else making funny commercials they tend to muzzle you.”

The tooth fairy character was an ad campaign out there that did so well he turned it into a stage show! I went to his office and he was kind enough to give me some time and show me a lot of the projects he was working on- amazingly creative funny stuff!

My entire time in SA was an incredible experience; I wouldn’t trade it for much (maybe a ton of money because I need it these days). There are so many of the younger acts that I thought were so great but I can’t have this article go on forever. I’m going to name a few you should check out.

Grant Willy Wilson is just starting out but has such a good mind for comedy and film. I’m sure he’s going to be huge if he stays with it. There is also Ndumiso Lindi, Kedibone Mulaudzi, Nina Hastie (one of about 10 female comics in the whole country), Felix Limumba and Ryan Whittal. I met a girl named Lindsey the White Girl who is one of only two black female comics in South Africa. She was so funny and something about her reminded me of Calise Hawkins here in NYC who I also find super funny. She and I talked after the show about how similar Zulu is to Orthadox Judasim.

Warren Robertson has a cool blog about Joberg called “Kill or be Killed.” I wish I could remember all the names of the awesome comics. On a continent that has been mined for gold, oil, diamonds and precious stones I would not be surprised if great comedic talent was next. South Africa and its comedy scene will live in my heart forever.

Danny Lobell is a stand-up comedian and writer based in New York City. Learn more about him at dannylobell.com.

Comedy Matters with Robert Kelly, Anthony Jeselnik, more

by Jeffrey Gurian

Strip Action

On any given night you never know who you’ll see at The Comic Strip. One night recently we got the word that Kevin Hart would be stopping by, and as soon as people found out, the club was sold out. And that was on a Monday night.

Then again, Kevin has about 300,000 followers on Twitter. One tweet from Kevin and you better have a club that seats 300,000!

Kevin rolled in with his best friend Harry, and did a great set. He broke the news that he’s getting divorced, and even managed to make that funny. Comedians will take anything and make it funny. If they have the courage to discuss real stuff on stage. I guess that’s how we deal with things.

In my act, the closest I come to letting the audience into my life is when I admit that I’m insecure. “I’m so insecure, in my sexual fantasies, another guy gets the girl!”

When I saw Kev, it was hard to believe that it’s almost a year already since I co-produced his show at Westbury, along with Tony Rock, and Wil Sylvince.

He was already blowing up at that point. Now he’s gone nuclear! He even turned up at Diddy’s party shortly after where that chick’s hair caught on fire. Kevin wound up on TMZ re-creating the scene.

Kevin also made Punchline Magazine’s year end top ten stand-up comedy DVD list coming in at #8. Check out the story at here.

The Strip has a range of talented comics that work there on a regular basis like the super talented Macio, who always manages to destroy the room, and those that stop by when they’re in town. I also managed to catch Dwayne Perkins’ act one night and he absolutely killed it.

I had seen Dwayne before, but I honestly didn’t remember how good he was. His material is so clever, so well thought out, and delivered so casually, that when he explains why White people are better dancers than Black people, … because they give themselves the freedom not to stick to the beat, it actually makes sense!

Suddenly you find yourself wondering whether white people actually ARE better dancers than black people! But only for a minute till you come to your senses, and realize you’re in a comedy club!

Dwayne recently got back from a tour in Israel with Gregg Rogell, and is involved in writing a blog which you can find at averyfunnyblog.com.

You wouldn’t know it from the way this column started, but The Comic Strip also has white comedians, … sometimes! (LOL) Tom-E definitely falls into that category . Tom runs the club during the day and was featured with his very own chapter in Lisa Lampanelli’s book, which was both an honor and a diss at the same time! I personally thought it was cool. As long as they spell your name right!

My earliest experience with that was the first time I was ever in the newspaper, and was in Earl Wilson’s column in The Post, back during the Wild West days. I had given a joke to a P.R. guy that was like, “ The big thing these days is snorting coke through hundred dollar bills. But my accountant advised me to snort coke through 6 month Treasury bills! You know how you can spot a guy who snorts coke through T-bills? You look for paper cuts on their nose.”

So I thought the guy would be smart enough to turn the joke around on someone else, but NO, he writes in the N.Y. Post that Jeffrey Gurian’s accountant advised him to snort coke through 6 month Treasury bills. What a putz!!! I called him up screaming, and he said to me, “ Relax. Did they spell your name right?” I was like, “Unfortunately they did.”

Anyway, Tom-E is very funny. He warned people at Halloween to check their kids candy for drugs, and then said, “Every year he takes his kids to worse and worse neighborhoods, and every year he gets nothing! Who has extra drugs to give out anyway?, he wonders.

Then he talks about coat drives for the homeless. He’s like , “ I thought we were trying to get these people OFF the streets. Who’s giving them coats???”

And to a woman who said to him that it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile, Tom countered with, “I’m tryin’ to lose weight!”

The guy’s hysterical!

Anthony Jeselnik popped by one night to do a set, and I think he’s great. He’s good looking, very low key, and very sharp in his observations. He’s often sarcastic, and says things that people only think, but wouldn’t have the nerve to say. (Punchline Magazine named his album Shakespeare the best comedy album of 2010.)

Like when he talks about sexual harassment and that some girl is accusing him of giving her inappropriate massages in the office, his tag is “ Good luck with that sweetheart. I don’t even work here!” That is really funny! He even says so too. He acknowledges onstage, “ That’s a great joke!”

He got his father a t-shirt that said “World’s Greatest Dad – Semi-Finalist”. He said his mother was the worst at giving her kids bad news. She admitted to him one day that she was having an affair but told him he couldn’t tell his Dad. He said, “ Why not?” And she said, “Cause he just passed away!” Anthony Jeselnik ladies and gentlemen! Wherever you are at this moment Anthony, when you read this, please take a bow!

The Christmas Party

Ray Ellin hosted the fabulous and eagerly awaited holiday party at The Strip. Ray is one of the guys who always does his homework and prepares, even if it’s something simple like hosting a holiday party.

He did have the good manners to inform me that several of his jokes would be about my hair. (Jews are very polite as a group!) I explained to him that most men wear their hair like they’re embarrassed for having any. Almost like an apology. Sorry I have hair. I’ll try and wear it in a way you won’t notice. Personally, I’m just glad I HAVE hair. That’s not a slam on any of you who don’t. But for me personally, I’m grateful!

Ray opened by looking out at the packed room and wondering how many people were there “from Jeffrey Gurian’s mailing list!”

Then he enumerated some of the exciting events from the past year. Ankara, the sexy hostess from the club got engaged, Greg the bartender had a baby boy, and the rumour was that Jeffrey Gurian’s hair actually moved.

He went on to ponder, “What’s higher? J.R. and Tom-E after a show? Or Jeffrey Gurian’s hair?

And he didn’t leave himself out of the shpritz-fest! He said, “As you know, I’m heterosexual – but I have been known to blow the light!”

He also took time to encourage a round of applause for two fellow comic legends we lost this year, Greg Giraldo and Robert Schimmel.

Richie Tienken and his beautiful wife Jeannie were there enjoying the festivities, as was his partner, and co-founder of The Strip, Bob Wachs and his beautiful wife Tess.

Gotham Happenings

Gotham’s holiday party will not be until Jan. so as not to conflict with all the other goings on.

But almost every night is a party at Gotham. There’s always an array of big stars to choose from, not only on stage but also hanging out.

Like the night I went to catch Dom Irerra who I hadn’t seen since I interviewed him last summer in Montreal, I ran into the star of The Office and the host of Last Comic Standing, Craig Robinson.

Craig is one of the few comics who have managed to translate a stand-up career into a career on TV, and on the big screen in films like Hot Tub Time Machine. He’s not only really funny, but a really nice guy as well.

A new project for Craig will be a starring role in the film We The Peeples, which sounds kind of like a Black version of Meet The Parents, opposite Kerry Washington and David Alan Grier, written by Drumline’s Tina Gordon Chism.

Barry Weintraub MC’ed the Irerra show, and Barry is always a fantastic host. Hosting is very difficult cause you have to have things to say all throughout the show, and you have to keep things moving along.

Mike Ivey was on the bill and said during the 6 years of his marriage he lived by the motto” Don’t ever go to sleep with a problem unresolved. He didn’t sleep for 6 years.”

Jesse Joyce was also on the bill and reminded me and the rest of the audience of some very funny old time expressions, when a neighbor admitted to him he was a drug dealer and then warned him, “ Remember loose lips sink ships!” Who says that? It’s like saying, “Remember, it’s between you, me, and the lamppost,” or even better, “Mums the word!” Thanks Jesse!

Dom Irerra reminded us that laughter is the best medicine, … except for medicine!

He made fun of people’s lame medical advice. “Drink water when it’s hot! Even an armadillo knows that!”

In Ireland the waiters ask, “Would you like some fat with your fat?”

Another Irrera line I wish I wrote – “ She was so Chinese, it looked like it hurt!”

Robert Kelly who I first got exposed to when he did Dane Cook’s HBO hit Tourgasm, had a sold out show at Gotham as well.

This time William Stephenson hosted. William is one of the best hosts around.

Everybody loves Amy Schumer and she had a killer set with lines like “This shirt makes me look pregnant. Well they always say, “Dress for the job you want.”

And, “I slept with my high school crush, and now he expects me to go to his graduation.”

Pat Brown got a lot of love from the audience as did Rich Francese. Rich is so Italian, he explained that his birthstone was cement. And growing up, his parents always told him if he did his homework, someday he could be President, … of the Teamsters Union!

Robert Kelly is always funny. On losing weight and how much he hates eating apples, “Have you ever tasted an apple? Five tastebuds are happy!”

I actually liked him so much I went back to see him a second time, and heard him declare, “ I can’t wait to be 80, and wear three sweaters and a hat.”

He also said he didn’t give a f*&* about anything. What are they gonna do, take away my birthday? That’s all I got!”

The second night it was the hysterical Ophira Eisenberg, and Rich Francese. Rich gets in with all the pretty girls!

And then there’s the monthly show I never miss, (sounds like a period!) the Anthony Anderson Mixtape show. Anthony never ceases to surprise. This month the surprise was that he wasn’t there, but Royale Watkins his partner made sure it was a killer show none-the-less.

It’s always quite a line-up, and this month was no different. Amy Schumer, who seems to be everywhere there’s a mike stand these days, Royale, Franz Cassius, Macio who got out of bed to come down and do the show at the very last minute, and Rob Cantrell who I totally enjoyed.

It always amazes me that some people have escaped my radar and so it was with Rob. I had always heard about him, but never had the good fortune to catch his act until that night, even though he’s based in Brooklyn. Rob’s been featured on CBS, NBC, Comedy Central and HBO, and now I know why.

I’m definitely a fan. The line that stuck out for me was, “if you were a regular squirrel and saw a flying squirrel, how pissed off would you be?” A rhetorical question if I ever heard one! I heard he also does a radio show, and I will HAVE to check that out. I LOVE radio!

Comedy Matters Quickies

Look for the multi-talented Rick Younger in the movie Morning Glory starring Rachel McAdams and Harrison Ford. You can also see him in a regular appearance on “Guys Tell All” on NBC’s Today Show , and on HBO’s Real Sports with Paul Mecurio,. I’ve seen it written Mercurio , and other times Mecurio. Either way, with the “r” or without, the guy is funny. As far as I know, no one letter has the power to bestow humor on a person!

Harris Bloom hosted Yonah Grossman’s open mic show at Gotham and brought me up to do a set of some new stuff I’m working on.

Brute Force held his regular monthly open mic show at The Players Club, where he wowed the crowd with his excellent chair playing, which I think he may have referred to as his plastic seat playing. This is a show not to be missed!

Another monthly performance show is Robert Galinsky’s open mike night, where you get about 7 minutes to do your thing. I ran into Rick Shapiro who did a set that only Rick Shapiro could do. Watching Rick work as a performer gives you the freedom, and courage to be able to try different things in your own act. He works on a whole other level, and it was good to see him.

My ex-comedy partner, the spectacular Sonya Gignac came to town to visit me for a few days. The only reason she’s my ex-comedy partner is that she moved to LA. to pursue other goals. We did the best comedy news broadcast together and we shot it in the actual newsrooom of WPIX Channel 11.

Of the many events we hit while she was in town, we went to Tanya Young Williams book launch at Club Juliet, for her new self-help book “I’m Tired! –Carry Your Own S#!T” – (Oops, I Mean BAGS). It’s an inspirational book written during her recovery from the trauma of what she went through during the murder trial of her ex, Jayson Williams.

Andy Diaz put together a fantastic event, and I got to find out that Tanya is not only beautiful on the outside but on the inside as well. Her book is filled with Spiritual Wisdom which is all we really have to get through the tough times in life. She’s about empowerment, self-realization, and self-help, three things that are key in my own life. I’m so glad we met!

Colin Quinn on Broadway

I had seen Colin’s show, “Long Story Short” at 45 Bleecker, but there’s nothing like seeing a friend starring on Broadway. Besides Jackie Mason, I think Colin is the only other comic I can think of that had a one man show on The Great White Way. I was excited for him, so I can only imagine how he feels.

I even took a photo of the marquee. How many people get to see their names on a marquee on Broadway. Especially in a show directed by Jerry Seinfeld.

Colin had one earlier show, which I saw and loved called “Colin Quinn-An Irish Wake” which was also at the Helen Hayes Theatre. That was back around 1994. This show is a winner and has already been extended into February, I believe. Anyway, if you have not yet seen it, it’s a must that you do! Tell Colin I send my best!

Tribute To David Jonas

Many of you may not know who David Jonas was, but you’ll know of the people he managed and worked with. He’s the guy who got the late Freddie Prinze the show Chico and The Man. Most of you know Freddie Prinze Jr., but this was his Dad, talented comic/actor Freddie Prinze Sr.

I first met David around 1977, when I was sent to his office to meet him by award winning writer/director/producer Alan Zweibel. He wasn’t any of those things at the time. At the time he was one of the main writers on a new little show called Saturday Night Live.

I snuck up to SNL, after pulling up in my orange Cadillac Eldorado, that I was told by the dealer who sold it to me, had been ordered by one of the Isely brothers who decided not to take it, so I did. I immediately pimped it out, with a Rolls Royce grill, straps in the back, big white wall tires, Cabriolet roof, … to the consternation of my wife at the time, who said, “ We’re Jewish and we live in Scarsdale. Why do I have to drive an orange Cadillac? All the other women make fun of me.”

I didn’t hear her. I was too busy playing my Superfly tapes, convinced I was meant to be Black. Trust me, no White man ever drove a car like that. So I pulled up at 30 Rock, threw the doormen a few bucks, asked them to watch my car, and told them that Lorne Michaels was expecting me. You could do that in those days. The street in front of 30 Rock was open and filled with limos and high end vehicles. My pimp-mobile really stood out.

Plus I had a CB radio in the shape of a phone. They had no reason to doubt me, that Lorne was expecting me. I looked the part. So I got up to SNL, met Alan, and got him to look at some early films I was doing. One in particular about a maniac who was arrested for smearing creamcheese on the ankles of elderly women who wore their stockings rolled down like bagels.

I actually got my dear grandmother, Nana Fay, to play the part. She put on a phony Jewish accent, and gave her account of the crime. She told how Jewish people have two kinds of stockings, one for meat, and one for dairy, and this crazy man shmeared creamcheese on her meat stockings, and she couldn’t get it off.

I guess Alan got it cause he called his manager at the time, David Jonas and asked him to see me. David was also managing great comics like Dick Capri and Freddie Roman who is now the Dean of The Friars Club.

David at first tried to discourage me from getting into joke writing, probably because I was so bad at it in the beginning, (LOL) but after a year of hard work, he introduced me to the great Dick Capri who was the first comic who ever bought material from me, back in 1978. It was Dick who introduced me to Rodney in 1979 when I started writing for that comedy legend. ( And don’t say Rodney who? There was only one!)

David Jonas just left us at the ripe old age of 99. I called Dick who’s wintering in Florida where he performs as he tells it, “for the Chosen People.” He tries to avoid doing TV which he thinks is just a fad! (LOL – That was one of our earliest jokes! )

Amazing how we remembered so many of the jokes we did together in the early days. He hit me with, “ The hotel was so Jewish, instead of a hotel doctor, they sent an elderly woman to your room who put her lips to your forehead!

He said that David passed away quietly in his sleep. No tubes, no disease, just old age. Perfect! Dick had stayed in touch with David all through the years. I wish I had.

I asked Dick for one great David Jonas story. Once a year, famed Broadway Producer Joe Cates would produce a show at the Ford Theatre in Washington D.C. for the Pres. of the United States. George H.W. Bush was the Pres. at the time, and there were tons of security present, as you might imagine. There were Secret Servicemen everywhere.

Dick was backstage waiting to go on surrounded by guys with Uzi’s. His manager David Jonas is with him for support. They finally call Dick’s name to go out and perform for the Pres. and just before he walks out, right in front of the Secret Service, Jonas yells out, “Go out and kill ‘em!”

Needless to say, the comment caused quite a stir! Rest in Peace David. You will be missed!

Anyway, until next time, remember … COMEDY MATTERS!!!

Featured review: Louis C.K. — ‘Hilarious’

by Dylan P. Gadino

There has, arguably, been no other comedy album that has gained so much buzz before its actual release than Louis C.K.’s newest gift to comedy nerds—Hilarious. And there’s good reason for that. It’s not that just about any C.K. effort is highly anticipated these days (people anxiously await his relatively rare Twitter one-liners, for Chrissakes); this time around Louis has given a project a complete life of its own before general consumers could even get their eager hands on the thing.

So let’s take a look at some those early milestones: Shot as a feature film – produced and edited by C.K. – Hilarious became the first ever stand-up performance screened at the Sundance film festival; that went down at the start of 2010. On Sept. 8, it was shown in theaters in major cities (screenings were added due to demand); and on Sept. 18 it premiered completely uncensored on fledgling cable channel EPIX, who, to their credit, have already made a habit of landing exclusive premiere deals with David Cross, Janeane Garofalo, Lewis Black and more. Comedy Central will air Hilarious Jan. 9 at 10 pm EST followed by its DVD, CD and digital download release on Jan. 11.

Though some of the lucky ones have seen the film or televised version of Hilarious, most fans have been waiting for more than a year to make it their own—whether that means sliding the DVD next to Shameless (2007) and Chewed Up (2008) on their shelf to complete their C.K. stand-up trilogy (hardcore fans will have his 2006 HBO One Night Stand on there, too) or dropping the digital goodness on their iPods next to the aforementioned titles— and, perhaps, (again for the hardcore C.K. heads) Louie’s self-released Live in Houston from 2001.

Jokes.com
Louis C.K. – Give It a Second
comedians.comedycentral.com

So the day has come (or has almost come, depending on when you’re reading this). But, the question remains: does Hilarious live up to all the expectations? In short: yes.

Feel free to stop reading now if that’s all you wanted to know. For those willing to dig slightly deeper, read on.

From each new hour of C.K. material, we’ve come to expect an emotionally rich, soul-baring performance; Hilarious gives us exactly that. And like George Carlin before him, thematic patterns crucial to the performer’s voice are becoming increasingly evident in C.K.’s work. The late comedic icon described the content of his act in thirds: 1. Language; 2. Things that bring us together (“Little World) and 3. Social commentary, religion and politics or the “Big World.”

By contrast, Louis’ hours can be loosely parsed out like this, in order of emphasis: introspection, family and finally, social criticism. It’s worth noting that C.K.’s brand of social criticism, however, leans more toward the “every day” and less on world issues. For instance, on this album, he chastises “two fat white guys” online at a coffee shop for misusing the word “hilarious”, rips into people who complain about technology when they should simply be amazed by it and questions the existence of women who’s only role in life is being “the hot girl at the bar.”

And this time around, the hot girl at the bar is not just a bygone concept for him. It’s his reality. Hilarious finds the veteran comedian divorced after 10 years of marriage and entering the dating scene again. If you’ve seen C.K.’s largely autobiographical FX show Louie, you already know this.

“It’s like talking to a girl at a bar because you’re attracted to her,” he says early in the album about the dreaded opening-line-at-a-club dilemma. “The first thing you say is just going to be dog shit coming out of your mouth— because you don’t know her! The only honest thing you can say to her is ‘I want to fuck your face.’ Anything else you say is just you trying really hard not to say, ‘I want to fuck your face.’”

All at once, C.K. is funny, honest and perhaps most importantly, he affords the listener – or, at least this listener – piece of mind in knowing that we’re all perverts and its ok—or that maybe it’s not ok, but at least someone feels the same.

Though he mines more-than-competent material from these type of observations, historically, it’s when C.K. takes aim at himself or casts his two young daughters (ages 7 and 3 at the time of the recording) as the stars of his bits that his stand-up turns into something only he can accomplish. Thankfully, Hilarious is awash in this trademark approach.

Jokes.com
Uncensored – Louis C.K. – The Miracle of Flight
comedians.comedycentral.com

Most of the latter part of the album is anchored by stories about his kids. According to the now 43-year old father, the older daughter is just perfect: “She’s smarter than me. She’s more decent. She’s cleaner,” he attests. She basically exists to show how bad of a person Louis is. Of course, though, we don’t really believe he’s bad. Would a bad father take their daughters to Italy on vacation and let the older one pet a wild pony? Perhaps. You’ll have to listen.

The three-year-old, says, C.K. “is a different story.”

“Here’s her deal. She’s a three year old. That’s it…They are just what they are. They can’t help it. Tape the windows. It’s a fucking hurricane.”

Louis bookends the set nicely, leaving the audience with the type of self-reflection he began with; this time, it’s a five-minute, brutal analysis of his degenerating physical appearance: “I didn’t even wear down evenly. Different parts of my body are older than others.”

In the end, Hilarious will be remembered as one of the strongest stand-up comedy performances in the history of the art. But, then again, so was Chewed Up. There’s nothing new here in the way of his own boundaries being pushed or new topics being tackled. You couldn’t say that Hilarious is more “personal” than his last effort or that he’s expanded his worldview. C.K., in short, has just continued to be a fearless comedian who’s able to find humor in honesty.

Get yourself a copy of Hilarious by clicking the link below. You won’t be sorry.

Nick Griffin: Bring Out The Monkey

by Punchline Magazine

By DNA

It must be lonely inside Nick Griffin’s head—one can easily envision his gray matter taking the form of a desolate hotel room scattered with fast food wrappers, empty bottles of booze and dog-eared copies of Playboy; then there’s the flickering television screen.

Lucky for us, Griffin has devoted his life to stand-up and so we barely have to rely on our imagination for a snapshot into his brain.

Griffin is all too pleased to tell us everything.

His latest effort Bring Out The Monkey is a brazen insider’s perspective of life in the poor lane; it expertly captures the bottom-rung zeitgeist of the 21st Century and finds Griffin moving seamlessly through topics from substance abuse, pop culture and sex.

And woe is the tale of the single, white, veteran comic who, despite his stylistic similarity to contemporaries like Marc Maron and Doug Stanhope, (and despite is half dozen Letterman appearances) hasn’t found the relatively massive respect of the latter comedians. But that only makes Griffin’s constant self-loathing and dark – and yes, hilarious – philosophies more sincere.

The title of the album, in fact, is deftly anchored to one such Griffin philosophy: As a 40-something bachelor he finds that young women are like fresh donuts (“soft and warm”); women his age are like crackers. “And sometimes you want a cracker,” he admits. “But you always want a donut.”

And young or old, Griffin can’t help but want a woman naked as soon as possible. “It’s not that I don’t love and respect women,” he explains. “I just think a naked woman is the most exciting thing you can have in the whole world. It’s like if you have a friend who owned a monkey. No matter what that friend is saying at any given time all your thinking is ‘bring out the fucking monkey.’

Hence, Griffin creates a succinct, hilarious and dare we say, beautiful metaphor about how one must struggle (or, beg) in order to attain anything worthwhile in life.

Bring Out The Monkey is more than worthwhile and yet quite easy to get. There are exceptions in life. Just click the image below!