Greg Giraldo: A personal remembrance

by Dylan P. Gadino

“Who would’ve thought that a guy who had his shit so together would have hair like Lisa Lampanelli’s fuck hole.”

That’s what Greg Giraldo said to me when I first met him face to face. It was 2005, the year I launched Punchline Magazine. Greg had literally turned 40 minutes before, and having just wrapped up a masterful early show at Carolines in New York City, he was taking a breather before his next set with his friend and fellow comedian Russ Meneve, who was opening for Greg that night.

I should note that his comment was well-founded – not just hilarious – as I’ve worn my hair unkempt and natural (read: Afro-esque) for most of my adult life.

A few days prior, I had interviewed Greg by phone for a long feature story, which was great; but this – finally getting to shake the dude’s hand – was a real treat. During that interview and a quick follow-up days after the Carolines show, I feel like he really opened up about his station in life. He told me:

Turning 40 has affected me much more dramatically than I would’ve expected. I’ve made some pretty drastic lifestyle changes recently. With that has come real reflection…

It finally dawned on me: I didn’t know if I wanted to be a guy with three kids. Then I realized I was a guy with three kids. So you can be a guy with three kids and an asshole, or you can be a guy with three kids who’s trying to do the best possible thing. So I’m trying that. It’s time to grow up and be a good man, husband and parent. That’s a tall order for fuck-up traveling comic.

And so continued my enormous admiration for Giraldo — one of the main reasons I decided to start writing about stand-up comedy.

Specifically, his 30-minute Comedy Central special from 2000 is what made me realize that, when done well, contemporary stand-up comedy is an important art form that deserved to be analyzed and championed the way movies, music and television had been for decades. I had recorded the special on VHS and watched it somewhat compulsively (along with half hours from Zach Galifianakis, Nick Swardson and others). Here’s a little bit of what that show looked like:

Jokes.com
Greg Giraldo – Illegal Alien Investment Banker
comedians.comedycentral.com

Luckily, running this site for the past five years has afforded me many opportunities to hang out with comedians whose work I love and respect. And Greg was one of those comics. Let me disclaim this now: I am in no way submitting that he and I were great friends. But he headlined Punchline Magazine’s third-anniversary show in 2008; I’ve interviewed him three (or more?) times and have had many a brief and awkward chat at comedy clubs; we even had occasional text chats, which usually were good for a few laughs.

In May of this year, I texted him after his appearance on NBC’s The Marriage Ref, hosted by his longtime friend comedian Tom Papa, and he responded in his typically sarcastic manner.

In the end, I’d like to think that Giraldo knew that I was someone who was incredibly passionate about the way he delivered the art form in which I’m most interested. I hope he knew that I was inspired by his performances. On his albums and during his live shows, no matter how frustrated or angry he seemed while dissecting society’s foibles, there was a quiet, constant and underlying fragility that endeared him not only to me but also to all of his true fans.

I’ve been reading a few of the mainstream Giraldo obits; both The New York Times and Entertainment Weekly call him an “insult comic” in their headlines. There’s nothing wrong with being an insult comic, per se, but it’s a lazy – and just plain wrong – way to describe Giraldo’s comedy. I get it: Most of America knew Greg from the insults he hurled on Comedy Central roasts, but that’s what every comic does at roasts. That’s why they’re fun — because you get to see a guy like Brian Posehn (nowhere near an insult comic) become an insult comic.

The thing about insult comics is that they rarely offer their audience a deep look into the person they are; they’re playing a character. Giraldo let his audience in all the time, making references onstage to his substance abuse, failed marriages and the challenges he faced as a father. And through our interviews these past five years, I got an even deeper look and shared that with comedy fans. Last year it seemed Greg was heading into a new, positive direction in life. In that interview he said:

It always depends on what mood I’m in. My moods shift rapidly. I feel more or less optimistic. I just woke up at 2 p.m. in Columbus, Ohio, and it’s raining out. So I feel a little less optimistic than I might if I were someplace else where it wasn’t raining. But I actually feel really good about things, and everything is definitely moving in the right direction.

Later in the interview he said:

You know, I’m never fully happy about anything but, yeah, I’ve gotta say in the last couple of years, I do seem to have a lot of fans that seem to really appreciate and like what I’m doing. I get a lot of e-mails, and I see the crowds getting bigger in all the clubs, and people seem to really be getting what I’m doing. So, yeah, I am actually pretty happy with the way that’s going.

My last interaction with Greg occurred on March 24 of this year, when I sat down with him at Comix comedy club in New York to film A Tight Five, a web series wherein I interview comedians. Even more than during our interview in 2009, he seemed to be in a great place. He had just started work as a judge on Last Comic Standing, he looked in good physical shape and was in a great mood. Right before we started, he ran across the street to a bodega to get some trail mix so that hunger wouldn’t set off what he described as his horrible ADD.

Unfortunately, because of technical problems and staffing issues, I was never able to post the interview — which runs about 30 minutes in its uncut form. We’re working on getting that on the site as soon as possible. And I feel like shit because a few weeks after the interview, Greg actually texted me to ask about the status. Specifically, he asked, “What happened to our interview, homecheesefriesplate?”

Six months later, he’s gone. And I’m pretty fucking sad about it. So I can’t even imagine what his family and the comedy community — especially those comics who climbed the ranks with Giraldo the past 15 years or so — are feeling. All I can say to the comics is, no matter how surreal this feels, keep getting onstage and making us laugh and think. And to Greg’s family, please know that an entire generation of comedians and comedy fans feels passionately about what Greg gave. I hope that brings even the tiniest amount of comfort to you.

I’m going to stop writing now and instead leave with one of the favorite quotes, from the aforementioned 2005 interview, that Greg gave me:

On the brighter side, I feel pretty good about where I am both professionally and personally. My new lifestyle has brought a lot more joy and peace into my home. I keep getting better and funnier. I’ve also gotten a lot more confident and a tiny bit more comfortable in my own skin. And I jerk off less.

Sandra Bernhard: Our favorite button pusher

by Emma Kat Richardson

Comedy icon Sandra Bernhard headlines Rooftop Comedy’s Out Loud Comedy and Arts Festival — running Oct. 7 – 10 — in San Francisco. In in an interview with Punchline Magazine, the versatile force of nature tells all!

Sandra Bernhard – actress, comedian, musican, pusher of societal buttons – has been a major league hitter in the entertainment game since the late ‘70s. Her career has spanned the administrations of presidents Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, and… well, you get the idea. Some would even say that her multi-range talents have included a trip into the much-traveled panties of the Material Girl, but it all depends on who you ask, and how drunk they are. (Bernhard herself has since refuted this long-nourished tale.)

Regardless, controversy and the endlessly churning celebrity rumor mill have always taken a backseat to the intricate craft of Bernhard’s comedy, and her staying power speaks as an undeniable testament to the driving force that is Ms. Sandra B.

And with appearances in more than 60 movies and TV shows, coupled with the kind of stand-up stamina that would send a million wannabe open mic stars weeping into their cheap beers, who’s going to successfully argue that her eventual tombstone should make any reference at all to Madonna?

Performing at Rooftop Comedy’s Out Loud Comedy Festival Oct. 7–10 in San Francisco, our favorite Roseanne guest star caught up with Punchline Magazine to rap about the gay community, Richard Pryor, and why she loves to sing the blues.

You’ve been performing since the late ‘70s. When you first started out, did you ever expect your career to maintain this level of longevity? Did you set out for that?
Oh, well, I thought I’d be a much bigger star than I am. [Laughs]. But I think I’ve been able to maintain my integrity and do my work and really enjoy it. I was just kidding about being a bigger star.

Everything kind of comes in a wave. You do a project, and you get a lot of attention, or you can keep doing what you’re doing and sometimes people won’t notice it. Being a perennial, that’s the most rewarding part – being able to do my career the way I’ve done it.

Do you feel like it gives you a lot of creative leeway, because you’re not, as you said, living under a certain set of expectations?
Yeah. I don’t care for that. It’s just too much. You can end up saying the wrong thing, and people will ask you to backtrack and explain it. It’s like, that happens once in a while; I’ll say things that are controversial, and people will want to know if I meant it, but in general, when I perform, I get to do what I want to do and say it the way I want to say it. That makes me happy.

That’s interesting that they’d ask you if you really meant it. Would you say something you didn’t mean, as a comedian?
Um, no, of course not. But I think sometimes comedians say things under the ironic banner, and people may misunderstand what they’re trying to say.

Are you happy with the arc your body of work has taken? How do you see your comedic voice as having developed over the years?
Oh yeah. I think the thing that is most fun for me, as an artist getting up every night to perform, I think I’ve evolved every year. I get better at what I do – I get more comfortable, and I understand myself on many levels, and in a more complete way. It reflects in my work.

Since you’re a music performer as well, do you see a lot of connection between the mindset of a musician and the mindset of a comedian?
You know, I think I have both; an equal amount in equal measure. I’ve always been very outspoken, and I’ve always been very musical. I’ve always punctuated my thoughts with music, and music’s pretty much the backdrop to my thoughts. But I feel like they’re integrated in a very balanced way.

Did you grow up in a musical household?
Yeah. My mom played piano, and we always listened to classical music, theater and Broadway. I have three older brothers, and my oldest brother was very into Bob Dylan; my second brother was incredibly into jazz; and my other brother plays the drums. We listened to kind of everything. I was exposed to music at an early age, and really had a great reference to all kinds of music.

I was reading that you do a lot of blues and jazz standards – very down-tempo. Do you see that as counterbalancing your comedy, since your stand-up tends to edge on the angry and the political?
Well, that’s part of what I do, but the whole show is kind of rock ‘n’ roll meets cabaret meets burlesque meets old school entertainment. I try to pull elements from all those in a different sense of performing that I find most engaging, and throw ‘em together in a big melting pot.

Did your early work with Richard Pryor inform your comedy at all? Did he act as an influence?
Well actually, Paul Mooney, who was the writer and kind of the person that discovered me, he was more of an influence on me than Pryor. I went on the road with Paul Mooney, and he was there almost every night I performed when I started off. He guided me and helped me kind of create my persona. Of course, I’m a huge fan of Pryor, but Mooney was really my mentor.

Changing gears a bit here, do you generally perceive the comedy community as being more or less hospitable to LGBTQ performers?
I think that entertainers in general are [more hospitable]. I don’t think there’s like a big chasm between the straight and gay entertainment communities. I think it’s the one place where people just kind of accept you, and you just do what you do.

What about the so-called “boys club” atmosphere that purportedly exists in the comedy community? Has that been a factor?
Yeah. That’s one of the reasons I stopped performing at comedy clubs. I think if I probably did comedy clubs at this point, I’m the only person there. I can’t stand waiting around all night to go on at one in the morning, at the Comedy Store or the Improv, following a night of misogynistic comedy. Everyone’s burn-down drunk, and I get up and try to do my sort of crazy, postmodern performance. I’ve moved on to more theatrical kinds of runs and stuff. At this point, it’s not like I’d go back for a night of comedy with like 20 other people, unless I was the headliner. [Laughs]. It’s just a different situation.

Do you have any advice for young women or LGBTQ comedians coming up in the scene now?
You know, for any women who are coming up, it’s like you really have to toughen up. It’s a lot of big long nights of having to be around that environment. It’s not easy. You’ve got to be really hardy, and have a really strong point of view, and be really clear about what your intention is.

Tell me a little about the Out Loud Comedy Festival. How did you get involved?
I don’t know how I got involved. My manager – he either called them or they called him. They booked me, but it seems like kind of a natural fit.

Do you have any specific goals with your performance in it?
Just, as always, to engage and entertain, and to be the best version of myself that I always try to be when I get up and perform. I think it’s nice to have someone who’s been doing it for a while to be in that setting. It’s comforting to other people to have someone who feels confident. I like to think of myself as someone who people can come to and talk to and lean on. That seems like a nice idea.

Would you say the mood of the festival is more geared toward the experience of being an LGBTQ person, especially with the ongoing political struggles in this country, or is it simply a comedy festival that happens to feature gay and lesbian performers?
Since I haven’t done this, I don’t really know. I don’t know what everybody else is going to do, but I know for myself, I think my work is inherently gay-friendly, because it’s ironic, it’s camp, it’s all the things that gay people appreciate. I would never try to pander to a gay audience by necessarily talking about gay issues, anymore than I would pander to a women crowd, or a Jewish crowd. Gay people are smart; gay people get nuances. That’s what my work is about, so I would assume that that’ll be appealing to the gay crowd.

Is there anything in particular you’re most looking forward to about the festival?
It’s just fun to be around like-minded people – people that embrace what you do and are excited about it. I don’t have to feel like, ugh, I’m gonna go hide in my dressing room. It’s nice to have the camaraderie.

I’m sure that most comedians – especially ones of your caliber – are as pleased with the developments in the political scape of this country right now as they are repulsed by it. Just curious to hear your take on it.
Well yeah, there’s certainly been a lot of fodder from the past administration, and the continual idiocy of the right wing. Of course, it’s hard not to comment on it when it’s so chaotic in its own right. It’s inherently comedic.

What at this point keeps driving you to do comedy? What continues to motivate you?
Well, I mean, I’m a performer and an artist. Once you do it, and that’s your life and your inspiration, that’s something you’ll always do. There’s no big mystery – I just can’t imagine ever not performing.

How do you see your work and your voice continuing to evolve over the next few years?
As I evolve. My daughter’s 12-years-old, and I’ve been in an 11-year relationship. I meet new people, I’m exposed to life in the world. It’s kind of a reflection and an interpretation of all the different levels in my life and experiences. All great artists put their life into their work.

For more info on Sandra, visit sandrabernhard.com. To get tickets for the Out Loud Comedy and Arts Festival, go here.

To purchase her latest album, Whatever It Takes, just click the image below!

Featured review: Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time

by Emma Kat Richardson

Love him or loathe him, it’s hard to undermine the brilliant business savvy of one Nick Swardson. As an all-star comedian with a finger in nearly every piece of the industry pie (yes, I’d like to hope he’ll take that vaguely sexual syntax and run with it to the most depraved place possible), Swardson boasts an innate aptitude for selling himself on a wide scale level. He’s a performer and writer who knows his audience inside and out – a rare staple of the frat funny farm who can probe the esoteric while luring in the pedestrian with cheap laughs and gross-out gags.

In his new Comedy Central sketch series, Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (premiering Oct. 12 at 10:30 pm EST), Swardson’s imagination runs as wild as the bloody membranes that often coat the scenes. Frequently cited as a comedic messiah among the coveted college-aged demographic, Swardson’s sensibilities toward the inane and the obscene are both expected and prevalent. In fact, this penchant for what’s lewd and shocking sometimes has an unfortunate tendency to distract from the shinier moments for pure comic brilliance and sharp, clever writing. Sketches containing mild elements of social satire, like a scene from the second episode that has the infamous Gay Robot character coming to loggerheads with a closeted homophobe, work very well, and become the more wry, observant portion of Swardson’s brand of comedy. Those that resort to gag-oriented bits, however – shock schlock in its most stripped down, single premise form – feel amateurish and poorly executed.

Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time	Tuesday, October 12
Preview – Wheelchair Cat
www.comedycentral.com

Still, the best thing about Pretend Time should come as no surprise to anyone even remotely familiar with Comedy Central’s most famous superstar on roller skates. Swardson has always worn silly very well, and sports an uncanny knack for quirky charisma – the likes of which make it almost impossible to turn away from any character he breathes life into.

And while the early episodes of Pretend Time feel a bit stunted and uneven, the series shows promise as one that’ll grow into its own, if given the necessary room to develop and flourish. But in order to do so, Swardson and his creative team need to lay off the crude and pump up the smarty-pants potential. I know he has it in him: that much is evident from the smart, sly sketches that punctuate the show’s kinetic pacing, and give energy to what might otherwise be dead, lifeless matter. Less Pee-us, more Garry Gaga, Nick. Tune in on Oct. 12 to see what I’m talking about.

Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time	Tuesday, October 12
Lady Gaga’s Brother: Garry Gaga
www.comedycentral.com

Bonus words: A partial list of familiar faces you’ll see on Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (not yet listed on IMDB): Natasha Leggero, Craig Anton, Ryan Phillippe, Owen Benjamin, Mary Scheer, Al Madrigal, Rob Huebel, Finesse Mitchell, Bob Odenkirk.

Bonus video (not going to be on television because, well… you’ll see).

Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time	Tuesday, October 12
Propealis
www.comedycentral.com

Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time

by Emma Kat Richardson

Love him or loathe him, it’s hard to undermine the brilliant business savvy of one Nick Swardson. As an all-star comedian with a finger in nearly every piece of the industry pie (yes, I’d like to hope he’ll take that vaguely sexual syntax and run with it to the most depraved place possible), Swardson boasts an innate aptitude for selling himself on a wide scale level. He’s a performer and writer who knows his audience inside and out – a rare staple of the frat funny farm who can probe the esoteric while luring in the pedestrian with cheap laughs and gross-out gags.

In his new Comedy Central sketch series, Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (premiering Oct. 12 at 10:30 pm EST), Swardson’s imagination runs as wild as the bloody membranes that often coat the scenes. Frequently cited as a comedic messiah among the coveted college-aged demographic, Swardson’s sensibilities toward the inane and the obscene are both expected and prevalent. In fact, this penchant for what’s lewd and shocking sometimes has an unfortunate tendency to distract from the shinier moments for pure comic brilliance and sharp, clever writing. Sketches containing mild elements of social satire, like a scene from the second episode that has the infamous Gay Robot character coming to loggerheads with a closeted homophobe, work very well, and become the more wry, observant portion of Swardson’s brand of comedy. Those that resort to gag-oriented bits, however – shock schlock in its most stripped down, single premise form – feel amateurish and poorly executed.

Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time	Tuesday, October 12
Preview – Wheelchair Cat
www.comedycentral.com

Still, the best thing about Pretend Time should come as no surprise to anyone even remotely familiar with Comedy Central’s most famous superstar on roller skates. Swardson has always worn silly very well, and sports an uncanny knack for quirky charisma – the likes of which make it almost impossible to turn away from any character he breathes life into.

And while the early episodes of Pretend Time feel a bit stunted and uneven, the series shows promise as one that’ll grow into its own, if given the necessary room to develop and flourish. But in order to do so, Swardson and his creative team need to lay off the crude and pump up the smarty-pants potential. I know he has it in him: that much is evident from the smart, sly sketches that punctuate the show’s kinetic pacing, and give energy to what might otherwise be dead, lifeless matter. Less Pee-us, more Garry Gaga, Nick. Tune in on Oct. 12 to see what I’m talking about.

Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time	Tuesday, October 12
Lady Gaga’s Brother: Garry Gaga
www.comedycentral.com

Bonus words: A partial list of familiar faces you’ll see on Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (not yet listed on IMDB): Natasha Leggero, Craig Anton, Ryan Phillippe, Owen Benjamin, Mary Scheer, Al Madrigal, Rob Huebel, Finesse Mitchell, Bob Odenkirk.

Bonus video (not going to be on television because, well… you’ll see).

Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time	Tuesday, October 12
Propealis
www.comedycentral.com

Featured review: Anthony Jeselnik– “Shakespeare”

by Brendan McLaughlin

Anthony Jeselnik writes great jokes– plain and simple. He’s a master of the one-two punch. Now, he’s not the only game in town when it comes to slinging one liners, but he’s one of the best, and here’s why: Jeselnik’s stand-up embodies one of the most distinct, specific, unflinching comic personas on the scene today. And his Comedy Central album, Shakespeare proves this endlessly.

The Pittsburgh native and former Late Night With Jimmy Fallon writer has been on the rise for the last five years, becoming a favorite of both the indie and club comedy circuits. This debut album, available digitally, is a collection of masterfully crafted jokes strung together by his well-honed, nearly-sociopathic self-assured bravado.

On Shakespeare Jeselnik reflects, “This chick is trying to get me fired, because she claims I’ve been giving her ‘inappropriate massages’ in the office. Well I said good luck with that, sweetheart. I don’t even work here.”

When you hear the bit, you think crack up and think, “hey, that is a great joke.” A few seconds later, Jeselnik says those exact words on the album. Commenting on his own joke gets almost as big a laugh as the joke itself. And that’s on purpose. You see, this comedian is all about verbal economy; there’s no idle chit-chat on this album. Even his segues and taglines are well-crafted jokes.

The downside of listening to a comedian that’s “jokey” (I hate that term too) is that you miss out on hearing a distinct voice. It can become more about ending a joke with the right twist than getting across the comedian’s personal perspective. Fortunately, Jeselnik avoids this. The jokes get you in the door, but the thing that keeps you engaged from start to finish is the fact that he never breaks character. Or is it even a character? It’s impossible to tell whether he’s being ironic, and that’s part of what makes him so fucking funny. Personally, I choose to believe he’s being ironic; it makes me feel less slimy about laughing so hard.

If you’re wondering, the album’s odd title comes from the long bit — a rarity for this quick-joke pro — that makes up the album’s final track. He tells a story about a crowd at a show that couldn’t handle one of his especially tasteless jokes. No doubt, there’s probably a lot of people that would agree with that disgusted group of people; but Anthony Jeselnik doesn’t care. And, neither do I.

To download Jeselnik’s album, just click the image below!

Lachlan Patterson: Jokes To Make Love To

by Heather Height

Ostensibly subdued and almost downright subliminal, Lachlan Patterson lulls his audience into a state of relaxation and trust with a turnabout that does not fail to deliver the funny. Jokes To Make Love To (Rooftop Comedy Productions) has the dizzying effects of lying on a beach drinking too many umbrella-adorned rum drinks.

Throughout his debut album, you’ll no doubt find yourself nodding and laughing, first with recognition, then with surprise; “The Internet’s too big” (funny enough); but then, Patterson continues: “If you make a spelling mistake, that’s another website.” (Funny and poignant); then, the punch: “My finger slipped and I accidentally typed titties titties titties.com,” Ok, now you’ve got my undivided attention, but for how long?

While Patterson’s material is engaging, his delivery is almost too laid-back and downright sleepy at times, which may cause the non-caffeinated listener to bail out altogether.

Even though he manages to get it back again and again, he most assuredly would be more stimulating to see live.

Patterson has his funny formula down, but that’s not to say he’s formulaic, presenting common themes, such as relationships and the difference between men and women, in uncommon ways, like video-game design. “If a video game was designed for women, once a month it would be impossible to play,” and there would definitely be an “I’m sorry” button. Patterson’s twists on how his generation experiences life are unusual and relatable.

The tracks drift in and out on the melodic sounds of “Tandemoro.” a Los Angeles-based band that is no stranger to being the backdrop to the comedy world, having previously been heard on HBO’s Dane Cook’s Tourgasm. The band’s sound perfectly matches Patterson’s understated energy.

You can buy Jokes To Make Love To by clicking the image below.

Anthony Jeselnik: Shakespeare

by Brendan McLaughlin

Anthony Jeselnik writes great jokes– plain and simple. He’s a master of the one-two punch. Now, he’s not the only game in town when it comes to slinging one liners, but he’s one of the best, and here’s why: Jeselnik’s stand-up embodies one of the most distinct, specific, unflinching comic personas on the scene today. And his Comedy Central album, Shakespeare proves this endlessly.

The Pittsburgh native and former Late Night With Jimmy Fallon writer has been on the rise for the last five years, becoming a favorite of both the indie and club comedy circuits. This debut album, available digitally, is a collection of masterfully crafted jokes strung together by his well-honed, nearly-sociopathic self-assured bravado.

On Shakespeare Jeselnik reflects, “This chick is trying to get me fired, because she claims I’ve been giving her ‘inappropriate massages’ in the office. Well I said good luck with that, sweetheart. I don’t even work here.”

When you hear the bit, you think crack up and think, “hey, that is a great joke.” A few seconds later, Jeselnik says those exact words on the album. Commenting on his own joke gets almost as big a laugh as the joke itself. And that’s on purpose. You see, this comedian is all about verbal economy; there’s no idle chit-chat on this album. Even his segues and taglines are well-crafted jokes.

The downside of listening to a comedian that’s “jokey” (I hate that term too) is that you miss out on hearing a distinct voice. It can become more about ending a joke with the right twist than getting across the comedian’s personal perspective. Fortunately, Jeselnik avoids this. The jokes get you in the door, but the thing that keeps you engaged from start to finish is the fact that he never breaks character. Or is it even a character? It’s impossible to tell whether he’s being ironic, and that’s part of what makes him so fucking funny. Personally, I choose to believe he’s being ironic; it makes me feel less slimy about laughing so hard.

If you’re wondering, the album’s odd title comes from the long bit — a rarity for this quick-joke pro — that makes up the album’s final track. He tells a story about a crowd at a show that couldn’t handle one of his especially tasteless jokes. No doubt, there’s probably a lot of people that would agree with that disgusted group of people; but Anthony Jeselnik doesn’t care. And, neither do I.

To download Jeselnik’s album, just click the image below!

Comedy Matters with Colin Quinn, T.J. Miller and more!

by Jeffrey Gurian

Long Story Short Not Long Enough

Lest my headline be misleading, Long Story Short would be too short no matter how long it was. I LOVE Colin Quinn. Not in a Biblical way, but in the way you love someone who embodies the kind of talent you would aspire to have if you could.

I’ve been a fan and friend of Colin’s for many years, and his newest one –man show which was at the Bleecker Street Theatre, called Long Story Short- History of the World in 75 Minutes was directed by another comic some people may have heard of, a newcomer named Jerry Seinfeld.

Colin and Jerry have also been friends for many years and both appear in the book I’m doing for the 35th anniversary of The Comic Strip. The Strip opened on June 1, 1976 and on June 17th Jerry Seinfeld walked in to audition, was judged “Good”, and told to come back on Monday, June 21st to perform. Jerry’s original sign-up sheet , with that comment on it, is still on the wall of the club.

Colin became a household name during the five years he did Weekend Update on SNL. He also had the hit Comedy Central show “Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn”, starring Colin, Nick DiPaolo, Greg Giraldo, Judy Gold, Jim Norton, Patrice Oneal, Keith Robinson, and Rich Vos, but literally everyone in comedy, ( except for me!), was on as a guest.

Some comics are funny and some are master wordsmiths and Colin is both. He has a way of deconstructing and examining every phrase and expression we use, only HE sees the humor and the folly in the things we say so matter-of-factly, and brings that to light on stage.

I loved his description of infighting among African countries which he likened to six Brooklyn high schools all letting out at the same time. That is HYSTERICAL!

Colin is referring to this show as a “work in progress”, and it’s so good as it is, that I’m sure something special will happen with it. I went to see it with my Comedy Matters Girl of the Month, (below) model/esthetician Maureen Gallagher, who has been immersing herself in the comedy world. Maureen literally laughed from the time she took her seat till Colin’s closing line, and it had nothing to do with the fact that I was tickling her the entire time! (LOL)

I had actually set out to see the show two weeks before I got there. Unbeknownst to me, Pres. Obama came to town without even letting me know, and for a trip that should have taken 20 minutes, I was tied up in my car for two hours, and never got there.

I thought I would lose my mind. I literally left my house in midtown at 7 P.M., and by 9 P.M. was still in my car and not even near the theatre. At 7:15 I could already tell I was in trouble, so I called my buddy Cal Wynter who owns the theatre, and told him I might be late. He was like, “ Don’t worry, we’ll hold the curtain for you.”

That made me even more nervous, as I envisioned people cursing me out, waiting for the show to start. Just before eight when I realized it was a hopeless cause, I called back to tell them I wouldn’t be able to make it at all.

I sent Colin an apology the next day which he graciously accepted, since he totally believed me, but my second attempt to attend was fraught with fear that something weird would happen again, so Maureen had the genius idea that we get down to the theatre around 5 P.M., have dinner, and wait for the show to start. And that’s just what we did. Not only is she gorgeous and funny, but she’s smart too!

On a personal note, Colin looks great. He lost so much weight he looks like he’s ready for Fashion Week. Anytime you have the opportunity to see Colin in any way, shape or form, go for it. It’s an experience not to be missed.

NY Underground Comedy Festival

Jim Mendrinos and Carole Montgomery run the NY Underground Comedy Festival and they basically do it by themselves. It’s a HUGE undertaking, and they do it well, but I’m sure it’s exhausting. I think that Jimmy used that hard work as a motivation to lose a lot of weight cause he looks great!

One of the clubs they use as a base of operations is The Strip, and on one of the nights of the festival they had an “80’s show” highlighting comics who started in the 80’s.

I got to see Ace-award winning comedian Steve Shaffer, who got his start at the club in those early days, as well as the great Joe Bolster who Chris Rock couldn’t stop raving about, during his book interview.

I also got to meet comedy legend Franklin Ajaye, who Jim brought in to headline several shows. I got to tell Franklin how he helped me to perform without knowing it.

I had read an old book about comics in which he said something to the effect that you can’t be a good comic unless you have experienced bombing. You have to bomb in order to get good. That inspired me to get over my fear of bombing and to get out on stage and fulfill my destiny, ( whatever that may be! LOL)

Also, Comic Strip regular Joe Machi , won the contest for up and coming comic held by the NYUCF at Gotham, and I just happened to be one of the judges. Let me add that it was unanimous amongst the other judges as well, which included Joann Grigioni, and Anne Harris from Comedy Central, Maria Perez-Brown from SITV, and comedy manager Amy Ambrosino . Joe’s very different, to say the least, and a funny guy.

Gotham Happenings

Anthony Anderson’s monthly Mixtape show was killer as usual, but even moreso. It was Anthony’s birthday and he was in a really good mood. So was the audience and how could you NOT be, with talent like Mark Viera, from LA, who is hysterical, opening the show.

Mark talks a lot about his Puerto Rican wife who fortunately for him seems nothing like he portrays her to be in his act. She seemed very quiet and sweet, but she’s a great source of material for him, and I’m sure she doesn’t mind.

Also on the show were crowd pleaser Veronica Mosey, my old friend Capone who I hadn’t seen in too long, and who killed it when he went on, and then there was Earthquake who lived up to his name, and did a lot of damage! (LOL) He basically destroyed the place!

He says “Marriage is like having cable with only one channel.” He also said he “likes his women so Black that when they’re lying in bed they look like a hole in the sheets.”

Another memorable line was “ I’m gonna have a real Black TV show. It’s supposed to come on at 11. It’ll come on around 11:20. Some weeks it won’t come on at all.”

The guy is great. In the audience I also spotted Drew Fraser, and Wil Sylvince two of my favorites.

I also went down to check Loni Love’s show which I thoroughly enjoyed. I always like seeing Loni on VH1’s Black to the Future, and I also got to see and meet Vanessa Graddick who is not only funny, but has great stage presence as well. And a fantastic smile!

Jim Mendrinos was on that show too, and when he saw me he invited me to be a judge at the NYUCF. See why it pays not to stay home? I don’t run into anyone in my living room. Well, … hardly anyone! (LOL)

When I was in Montreal in July, Chris Mazzilli introduced me to T.J. Miller who played Stainer in “She’s Out Of My League”, and is in so many other movies, and Chris told me he was headlining Gotham, and I should make sure not to miss him.

T.J. was voted one of Variety’s Top 10 Comedians To Watch in 2008, and has certainly lived up to that honor.

I loved his character in the film, and really liked what he did on stage at Gotham. One line that stood out for me was “ I’m dyslexic. I was depressed and slashed my ankles.”

I look forward to seeing him again whenever he’s in New York.

Lauren Sivan Wins Funniest Reporter

Gotham hosted the fifth annual New York’s Funniest Reporter Show , which is the brainchild of PR Guru Ryan McCormick of Goldman McCormick public Relations.

Ryan has worked his butt off to make this show what it has become. In the past I’ve been a mentor to both Taryn Winter Brill from Good Morning America, and Cat Greenleaf, a feature reporter for NBC, who now has her own show on NBCNewYork called “Talk Stoop” where Cat interviews celebs and interesting, successful people on the stoop of her Brooklyn brownstone.

I have to remember to ask her what she’s going to do in the winter! With my luck she’ll invite me on her show in the middle of a snowstorm! (LOL)

This year I had the honor of being a judge along with Tasha Harris, Judith Regan, and Dennis Hof, the owner of Nevada’s legal brothel, The Bunny Ranch, and star of HBO’s Cathouse, which is having a revival in Dec. of 2010 called “The Blondtourage”, starring two of the girls he had with him, Cami Parker and Jazzy Jones.

Both of the girls were knockouts and gave me their business cards. They said they thought the three of us looked good together, and I had to call for paramedics, at just the thought! (LOL)

I also had the honor of inviting Lauren Sivan from Fox News to be part of the contest this year and she won. There was no doubt in any of the judges minds that she won. All of the contestants were great, like past performers Robert George of the NY Post, and Newsday and Fox News’ Ellis Henican, but Lauren was so comfortable up there, and so funny, and even did characters and impressions. She was so good that Maureen Gallagher told her she should continue performing and that I should write for her.

Comedy Matters Quickies

I had the nicest surprise. I got a call from PR queen Susan Blond’s office asking me to come and see a guy named Aksel Kolstad from Norway, who plays classical piano and does comedy. He’s performing at Carnegie Hall on Oct. 10th.

I didn’t expect to be blown away by the guy. First of all he was wearing a blue plaid suit, and wasn’t afraid of it. He totally owned it, if you know what I mean. As soon as I heard him play and tell some jokes, I thought to myself, “ a hip Victor Borge.”

Then I thought, he probably doesn’t even know who Victor Borge is. To my surprise I found out that Victor Borge was his idol, and he was thrilled at the comparison. I was so impressed with Aksel that I brought him to The Comic Strip to meet Richie Tienken, and Richie offered him a spot at the club. That doesn’t just happen.

When he can’t drag his grand piano around with him, he plays a crazy instrument called a Melodica, which is like a cross between a piano and a harmonica. Richie and I are going to see him in Carnegie Hall, and you should too!

Burt Smooth has been doing an urban comedy show at Laugh Lounge on Essex Street for at least a couple of years now, but I haven’t gotten around to seeing it until recently. The great Mike Yard is the host and he’s really funny, and Burt brings in an incredible line-up of talent. Another must see show.

So I attended the launch of MichaelaTV.com and I got invited to do Michaela Davies’ radio show which is on Mondays from 8-10 P.M. on urbanlatinoradio.com The girl is a powerhouse of energy. She does this web TV show and radio show, and she’s also a model, and she and her co-host Ashlee K. have interesting people like me on her show! (LOL)

The best part is that she’s my neighbor. She’s been living in the building next door to me for years, but we didn’t meet until I attended her event.

Tribute to Robert Schimmel

The comedy world lost a hero recently. The great and talented Robert Schimmel succumbed to injuries he suffered in a car crash. He lost an 11 year old son to cancer, and battled cancer himself. Fortunately he beat it. He couldn’t beat this.

One of the last times I saw him was at Carolines Comedy Club for the book party for his fun, touching, yet insightful book, “Cancer on $5. A Day”. I held his book and he held mine.

He was a good guy, an inspiration to many people, and he will be sorely missed. Rest in Peace Robert!

Comedy Matters Girl of the Month

Maureen Gallagher is not a comedian. She was a runway model who made it big in the 90’s. Her photos were seen all over the world. Especially the ones that Peter Beard shot of her in Africa. Now she’s a licensed esthetician, meaning she teaches people how to care for their skin, and be beautiful and if anyone can do that it’s her.

I think she’s really funny and I am trying to convince her to get up on stage and try performing. I’ve been immersing her in the comedy world, and took her to The Strip hoping to get her up on stage. We’ll see!!!

The “It” Factor

I was honored to be the first guest along with the legendary Joe Franklin on Aly Kaback’s CBS radio show The “It” Factor. Aly is an amazing young woman who has a company called VIP Talent Connect, which helps talented people launch a career in entertainment without getting ripped off.

She has so many clients already she has to be very selective on who she accepts. She makes it affordable and surrounds them with mentors that can help them to achieve their goals. I will be proud to be one of her mentors on Oct. 2nd at an event at Carolines Comedy Club.

We had a fantastic time on her inaugural show. It was great reminiscing with Joe and I actually found a tape of us together from one of my many appearances on his TV show in the early 90’s.

In those days I was promoting a character I created called “Spooneye”, and as silly as it sounds now, I would walk around the city holding a spoon in my eye the way you would wear a monacle, as if I didn’t even know it was there.

I taught Salvador Dali how to do it one night long ago at the St. Regis Hotel on East 55th Street where he used to hold court when he was in town, as well as famed film actress Emily Paul who looks better with an eye-spoon than anyone I’ve ever seen!

In the days when Andy Warhol’s people would try and “out-freak” each other in Central Park every Sunday, I once heard Ultra Violet say as she passed me covered in Vaseline and glitter, “ Holy S**t, that guy’s got a f@*%$#g spoon in his eye!”

Conan O’Brien actually once copied me by doing that on his show, and Cindy Adams wrote a funny column saying, “ I have no idea why anyone would even want credit for this, but Jeffrey Gurian actually held a spoon in his eye first!”

Anyway, until next time, remember, …. COMEDY MATTERS!!!

Exclusive video interview with the Sklar brothers

by Punchline Magazine

If you haven’t watched the recently premiered original series Held Up, exclusively showing on Crackle.com and helmed by the always delightful Sklar brothers, we submit that you’ve been missing out on one of the web’s funniest and smartly-written series. The show follows the adventures of two pairs of thieves who descend upon the same bank to knock over on the same day. You can check out the entire series here.

But not yet! No, right now you should check out this exclusive video interview we scored. Punchline Magazine’s Matthew Gill — become a fan of his on Facebook — sat down with the twins recently to chat about the new show, how they’ve been able to make a living out of being funny (together) and a whole lot more. Enjoy!

Inside Paul Mooney’s pay-per-view special “The Godfather of Comedy”

by Noah Gardenswartz

Never before has a comedian decided to produce a Pay-Per-View stand-up comedy special. Who’s got the balls to do something like that, anyway. Paul Mooney does. And we were there to see it go down. Here’s what you could expect once it hits your television.

Paul Mooney held the taping of his upcoming Pay-Per-View comedy special, “The Godfather of Comedy,” at the Cobb Energy Centre in Atlanta on Aug. 31. Always one to break new ground in the business, the stage veteran is the first comedian ever to have a Pay-Per-View special; in the end, he delivered with a predictably scathing, unfiltered performance, likely to draw controversy and drive sales.

Comedian Guy Torry hosted the evening, and Atlanta-based comedians Tony Tone, Pierre, and Rickey Smiley all contributed solid guest spots to warm up the crowd. However, much like with a Pay-Per-View prize fight, it was obvious when the evening’s main event had arrived. The lights turned off, only to rise again upon a bejeweled Mooney, donned in a three-piece suit and fedora and sitting behind a desk. He patiently waited for the trio of multiracial twenty-somethings in skin tight dresses who came on stage to escort him to an elevated chair. That would turn out to be home base– where he proceeded to perform an hour of quintessential Mooney.

As one would expect in these turbulent times of political and racial division, economic struggle and pop-culture craziness, Mooney held no punches as he spoke his mind and cleared his chest in the “fuck you if you’re offended, motherfucker” kind of way that only Mooney can. Pull off. In between calling Sarah Palin a “hoe, slut, tramp, bitch,” and taking everyone from Dr. Laura and Mel Gibson, to Chris Brown and Lindsay Lohan to task, Mooney saved his most venomous commentary for Tiger Woods.

“Tiger is an embarrassment to every black man on the planet. He has no game at all, no pimp game at all. He is such a little punk. Give me $1 billion and a press conference in the morning… ‘yea those white bitches sucked my dick, and you can too!’ “

People come to Paul Mooney shows hungry for the social defiance and purposefully offensive viewpoints that his trademarked style of comedy offers. But his anger is not hyperbole, or simply an artistic muse from which he draws his material. You can still feel the anger emanating off his tongue as he recalls growing up in a bitterly segregated Louisiana during the Civil Rights era.

“They can sick the German Shepherds on us, we got pitbulls. I don’t give a fuck about those dogs. I’ll choke the shit out of it and feed it to a Chinese family.”

Whether Mooney is berating Obama’s critics (because that’s what he’s expected to do), or protesting South Africa’s hosting of the World Cup on account of their apartheid past, Mooney makes you think, feel and laugh (sometimes begrudgingly), during the entire special. Mooney’s views certainly aren’t for everyone, and his comedy isn’t for the faint of heart or thin (white) of skin— but that’s part of what makes him one of the most important social critics of the last few decades.

If you’re not familiar with Mooney’s work, get yourself a taste with the video below.

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